Fingertips
by parsley2424
Summary: August McKay gets a change of scenery when her life is threatened by the remnants of HYDRA. After meeting Steve Rogers, she knows that she has to use her gift to help his friend Bucky Barnes; easier said than done. She can't shake those icy blue eyes and the desire to get closer to him even if that means she gets hurt in the process. Civil War Spoilers/choosing to ignore the end.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I unfortunately do not own Marvel. I hope you enjoy!

The twinkling of little fire flies buzzed through the dark sky. The lights burst randomly in unforeseen patterns causing the semi-buzzed young lady to feel semi disoriented. Her wedge heels tapped out casual time on the cobble stone streets of the charming, southern town. Sultry songs, booming basses, and country twang flowed from several different bars around her.

Temptation to saunter into her favorite hole in the wall _The Gray Lady_ overcame her practicality. She knew that it was way past her self-imposed bed time, but it had been a while since she had really gone out. Plus, she had seen Mr. Tall, Dark, and Mysterious turn through the wooden doors.

The young lady, August, waltzed up to the bar and in a light voice ordered, "Mint Julep, please."

"Sometimes, I wish it was more acceptable for men to order fruity drinks. They always look so good," came a deep voice next to her. August looked up at him from beneath her eyelashes eyes latching onto her target.

"Why don't you just be secure in your masculinity and order it anyways darlin'?" she coyly shot back.

A big grin splashed across his face and he held up his hand to get the attention of the bartender.

August had seen this man before. He sat in front of her in her criminal psychology class. He was always pointing out things to the professor that she never really considered. He seemed intelligent, well-mannered, and confident. Plus, she always thought he had such a fine back of the head. Suddenly a large hand extended in front of her.

"My name is Chadwick. Don't we have a class together?'

"I believe we do," August hesitated. She took a deep breath and let her bare hand be encased by his. He had a firm handshake and she could see his blue eyes dilate. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

"So do you think that Professor Mcallister is as batty as everyone makes him out to be?" His voice cut through her worries.

They fell into comfortable conversation. She let her guard down, being in a place that she was comfortable with, with a guy she felt comfortable with, in an outfit she deemed as comfortable. Comfortable. Comfortable. Comfortable. August should have known better. Nothing in her life had ever stayed comfortable.

August could tell that it he was into her. She didn't go out often enough to be the center of an attractive male's attention. Faking confidence, she continued to flirt with attractive southern gentleman.

Chadwick bought her another drink and touched August's elbow. Out of reflex, she jerked her arm back. He looked a little surprised. Her face flushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry! I- I just need to use the lady's room. I'll be back in a second." She spun around and clunked towards the back. As she turned the corner, she ran hard into a large chest. Looking up, catching eyes with a blonde stranger, she threw him her most charming smile and apologized.

Once in the restroom, August splashed some water in her face trying to collect and sort all of her feelings. Chadwick, although a little too hipster in nature for her normal tastes, seemed like a catch. He genuinely seemed interested in her. She just wanted to make sure she wasn't projecting- _"Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting…"_ Her phone blared indicating a call from someone she had not heard from in several years. Surprise entered her dark brown eyes.

Digging into her purse she answered the call, "Barton?" she asked hurriedly.

"Gus, it's me! We have reason to believe you are being targeted. Get your ass out of there!"

"What?" hands shaking and her voice cracked she waited for more information.

"Go out the back door. Don't take your car home. It's been bugged. There is a team at your house getting your stuff. Don't worry. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

August pushed her body into motion. She calmly but quickly shuffled down the hall and out the back door not looking back. In the back alley between two bars, she glanced at her surroundings her training from her younger years kicking into high gear. Anything could happen in fifteen minutes.

"Clint, now what? I am outside and I don't see anyone-" Her phone beeped indicating that the call had been dropped. She growled to herself, threw her phone on the ground and stomped on it, killing it effectively. For all she knew, whoever was after her could be tracking her gps.

 _Shit. Shit. Okay, I can do this. I need to get to a more public area. Stay Calm._

Pulling her keys into her hand a spreading them between her fingers like claws, she suddenly wished she hadn't had that last drink. She made her way onto the main street. Seeing the lights of the park, she remembered seeing a flier about an outdoor movie being shown that night. If she could make it there, it would be safer for her. Now armed with a game plan she walked as steadily as she could towards her destination. Her pace was calm and she didn't move to fast.

 _If I run, that draws attention. Blend in._

She felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand and knew immediately that someone was watching her. She could hear the faint shuffle of men's loafers behind her.

 _What was that thing Clint always said? Throw your tail off guard. Do something unexpected._

Suddenly, August flipped around and asked her pursuer "Do you know what time it is?"

She came face to face with Chadwick. _How typical_. She immediately hit him as hard as she could with her purse and started to run.

 _So much for not running._

"Fuck, What was that for? August! What's wrong?" he questioned alarmed. His voice sounded genuine.

This threw August a little. Still clutching her keys, ready to stab, she faced the handsome young man.

"You aren't trying to attack me?" she whispered taking baby steps backwards. He put both of his palms up trying to show peace.

"No! I came out here for a smoke and saw you sneaking away. I- I thought we were hitting it off!"

 _Possible kidnapper and smoker. Nope, not my kind of guy._

"I am so sorry! I just- I just have a legit emergency and have to go. I'll see you in class!" as she turned back around to continue on towards the park she ran into a large chest. Gloved hands grasped her wrists keeping her from falling. August's keys rattled to the pavement.

"Steady there love, where are you headed to so quickly?" came a gruff voice.

She looked up to see that it was the blonde man from the bar that she had run into earlier. Her eyes locked onto his hands. Panic and dread filled her whole body like alcohol on an empty stomach.

"Why are you wearing gloves in May?" She whispered. The man's knee swiftly came and hit her in the gut. She doubled over.

"What the hell man! Let her go!" came Chadwick's voice. He came at her attacker trying to save her.

August, still doubled over, felt a hard kick in the center of her back causing her to hit the pavement hard. She looked up in time to see Chadwick stabbed with some syringe as he doubled over. August screamed and it was quickly muffled when the man tackled her, throwing his gloved hand over her mouth. He dragged her squirming body into the alley. She fought as hard as she could. Scratching, biting, kicking, and elbowing.

 _Longest fifteen minutes of my life._

August knew that if she was to stand a chance, that she would need skin to skin contact. She bit hard on the gloved hand and slammed her elbow into the man's gut. The man groaned and threw his body on top of hers and straddled her. She bucked her hips up and tried to scream again. His other hand socked her in the mouth and her secured her wrists into one hand.

"Stop your screaming or I will go back and shoot that man. You understand? Now stay still!"

He pulled another syringe out of his pocket and pulled off the cap with his mouth. August started to shake, flashes of lost memories skittering in front of her eyes. She bucked hard and threw him a little bit. She saw a sliver of skin, ripped one hand free, and slapped it across the man's bare neck making a resounding _thwack!_

 _Feel my fear. Take all of it you fucker!_ She channeled all of her emotions into her attacker. His grip loosened and he started shaking. His eyes bugged out and she landed a well placed kick into his chest. Standing up on wobbly feet, she let adrenaline take over she started to run, but only made it five steps. She felt a sharp pain near her Achilles tendon. Looking back, she saw the man had slammed the syringe into her skin. He rolled over and folded into the fetal position starting to cry.

August fell to her knees feeling warm blood drip down her chin from the earlier punch. The wall in front of her swirled like the inside of a raging tornado. Her face hit the cold cement and her eyelids started to flutter. Before her vision went, she saw feet run in front of her. Darkness over took her.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I wanted a little humor on the side of my serious. I hope you enjoy!

She opened her eyes and it was dark, Still. She wasn't sure if she had actually opened her eyes. A groan fell from her lips and the seat under her moved.

"Baby girl, don't sit up. It's me Gus. I got you," came a familiar voice. She realized that she was lying on top of none other than Clint Barton. She groaned in pain.

"Your wife know about us, Katniss?" she joked with a gravely, aggravated voice.

A laugh rolled over her like thunder. Realizing that she wasn't alone with her favorite former body guard, she tried lifting her head.

"Oh, we are in a car! My hands are tingling, Is that normal?" she squeaked staring at her hands.

"You were given GHB. You probably won't remember this conversation. Don't worry, we are taking good care of you. Taking you to a safe house now ma'am," came the unidentified voice from the front.

"Ma'am. I like the sound of that! So I can't go home? Wait! –" August suddenly sat up right and immediately regretted it. A string of unladylike words stumbled from her mouth.

"Looks like you learned some new words while I was away Gus. " Clint laughed.

"Shut up! Is Cilantro okay? Tell me that you have him?" her voice came, full of panic.

"You named your cat after an herb?"

"Okay don't get judge-y just answer the damn question!"

"Ma'am, we've been informed that your go bag, as well as your pet have been secured. We are headed to a safe house now."

August's hands flew to her face as she positioned her head back in Barton's lap. She groaned again. His hand moved her hair out of her face as he looked down on her,

In a hushed voice he said, "You scared me kid." Gus reached up and ruffled his hair. He laughed and added, "I'll deny that I said that you know."

Gus giggled and then yawned and promptly passed out again.

The next time she opened her eyes, she knew she was in a bed. Probably in the safe house. She remembered seeing Clint and that she thinks her cat is okay, but other than that she is clueless.

Her body ached and she licked her busted lip. She could hear male voices outside of her door. Gingerly pulling the covers off her body, she was greeted by her bare legs,

"Where the hell are my pants?" she muttered to herself. The door burst open and there stood her knight in shinning armor. A flash of black and white flew into the room.

"Cilantro! Baby!" Gus exclaimed as her cat tentatively moved towards her out reached hand.

"Baby, my ass. That thing is a terror," complained Barton.

"You would know," Gus shot back sticking out her tongue. Barton moved to sit on the edge of her bed.

"The real question is where are my pants?"

A laugh burst throughout the room and Clint ran his hand through his hair looking almost sheepish.

"You don't remember?" She shook her head no.

"Well, I wasn't alone when I saved you. When we got to the safe house, I was tending to your wounds when you demanded that I introduce you to the 'hot superhero who kept calling you ma'am.' Steve Rogers."

"Steve Rogers? As in _the_ Steve Rogers?" she asked shocked.

"The very one. Well after I introduced you two, you remembered that you uh… were wearing um… patriotic underwear. Before either of us could stop you, you had ripped off you pants to show off the American flag on your ass," He couldn't contain his laughter especially as Gus turned from pale to tomato red. She blinked rapidly in shock.

"Oh hell no! Why? Why'd you let me do that? Kill me please. He probably thinks I am so weird!"

"Well, maybe a little, but it was pretty endearing-" interrupted a new voice.

August's jaw dropped. She started twisting her hands together as she took in the handsome man in front of her.

"Especially when you wanted me to count all of the stripes," He laughed turning a little red himself.

August threw herself back on the bed groaning in pain _and_ embarrassment. This couldn't get any worse. Expect for the fact that some rando tried to kidnap her last night.

"So, since I am in dire need of changing the subject, can you tell me why I was beat up and drugged last night? And what about Chadwick? Is he alive?" She questioned.

"Well, we have received information about the man who attacked you. He was a loose end from Hydra. He was under orders to obtain you and take you back whomever is giving him orders. We think.. We think that they wanted to use your blood… like they did when you were 16…" Her mind started flying.

Images of metal chairs, needles, guns buzzed in her mind. Clint's gloved hand touched her hand and she jolted.

"We now have reason to believe that the group that took you seven years ago were under the direct orders of Alexander Pierce. They used your blood to keep their soldiers in check emotionally," stated Steve. He was leaning against the wall arms crossed.

"And Chadwick?" she dared to ask.

"Your lover boy is okay. We got him to a hospital and have taken care of your cover story. You.. you won't be seeing him again, so I hope you weren't too attached," it was blunt, but true.

"Ugh! He could have been the love of my life for all you know. I hate this. I finally settled down! I have a life! I am three exams away from having my degree in education AND psychology! This is not fair." August would be the first to admit that she was pouting, but she didn't care.

"I know Gus. That's why we have an offer for you." She looked up still glaring.

"Fury wants you to come live in Avengers training facility. You would be given a more permanent home-"

"Stop right there! I don't want to hear anything from _Nick,_ " she pushed herself out bed and stomped into the bathroom. She went to slam the door, but Clint caught it before she could. Steve was right behind him watching with curiosity.

"There she is. The wildcat I remember," Clint grumbled as Gus tried to move the door.

"Ma'am, maybe you should sit down," suggested Captain America.

"Maybe you should sit down grandpa!" She then glared at Clint and yelled,

"You know that Nick does not have my best interest in mind. He is probably the reason that Alexander Pierce took me all those years ago! They were friends! And you know Cyclops asks too much! He pushes too hard and I-" She was abruptly cut off as Clint scooped her up and dumped her on the bathroom counter. He ripped his gloves off with his teeth and put his bare hands on her face. Steve looked a little taken a back. He stepped forward.

"I got this Rogers," He stated as he looked into Gus's dark brown eyes.

"I can feel your fear, your anger, and your pain baby girl. I know that Nick has hurt you and that you feel like you can't trust him. But feel me out, take a listen to my emotions right now,"

He paused.

August glanced fearfully into his eyes and then took a deep breath. She felt brotherly love, hope, and a tinge of anxiousness. But nothing untoward.

Clint used to do this often when she had a harder time controlling her powers when she was younger. He knew that she had trust issues, especially when it came to Nick Fury.

"This is real. I am real, and this is how I really feel. I would never let him step out of line."

"But what if he tries to take my blood? And what would I even do there? Knit super suits?" She tried at humor to mask her fear. Clint took his hands off of her and stepped back.

"No one will take your blood without your permission," Clint declared with such a fierceness that Gus didn't even have to be touching him to know that he meant it.

"I would train you. In combat. Also, we have a project you could work on… it has to do with psychology and you could really help someone… someone who is really important to me," explained Steve.

"And what about my exams? I want those degrees."

"Your professors have agreed to send you essay prompts in place of your exams. We told them there was a family emergency," Barton answered.

Gus ran her shaking hand through her tangled dark brown hair. She felt overwhelmed.

"Do I really have a choice of whether or not I stay here?" She questioned.

"You know what kind of life you would have if you stayed in this safe house cricket."

Hopping down from the sink, she winced at the twinge of pain that ran through her body. Steve reached forward to steady her short frame. His bare hand brushed against the skin of her arm. _Hope. Anxiety. Stress. Bucky._ His hand jumped back as if he had been fried with electricity.

"Uh sorry." Gus moved by him. Normally, she could just tell what people were feeling, but if someone was extremely consumed with an experience or a feeling she could sometimes catch words and snippets of memories. Clearly, Cap had some things on his mind. She hauled herself back into the bed where Cilantro was already snuggled up.

"Let me rest on it and I'll give you my final decision."

"Yeah love, that works for me. There are some pills you should take on the night stand. Let me know if you need anything."

 _I need a new life. That's what I need._


	3. Chapter 3

A/ N: This one's a little shorter. Sorry folks.

 _Earlier that night_

Steve couldn't help but laugh at the struggling, drugged girl. Her petite yet curvy frame kept knocking things over as Hawkeye tried to be patient with her stubborn attitude.

"Gus! Just let me pick you and carry you to your room," he stated as he reached for her. She clumsily dodged his hands and knocked over a lamp.

"Oops! Well, it was ugly any way. I don't need your help Robin Hood. I am an independent wo-" her sentence was cut off when her dangerously high shoes got snagged on the edge of the carpet and she tumbled face first toward the floor.

Steve's reflexes kicked in before he could think and swooped her up. His bare hands were grasping her arms. He suddenly felt confusion, disorientation, amusement, and fear. Not expecting this to happen, he dropped the girl with a loud thud. Barton burst out laughing and moved to help Gus up.

"What the hell? Ughhh. My whole body hurts. I feel like nothing is actually connected to me. Like is my arm actually here?" She lifted her arm and shook it in front of Hawkeye's face.

"Sorry Ma'am. You… caught me off guard. And yes that is your _actual_ arm," Steve stated.

"Barton, who is this guy who keeps calling me ma'am? He's hot! I should talk to him," she leaned in a whispered the last part, but was still loud enough that Captain America could hear.

Barton gingerly set her down on the couch, took off her shoes, and pulled out a medical kit. The girl had been roughed up pretty bad. Her lip was busted and there was dry blood on her chin.

"How about this? If you're a good patient, I'll tell you anything you want to know about this hottie when we are done? Sound good? Okay, Other than your busted lip, can you tell me what hurts?"

She looked down, her long brown hair covering her freckled covered face like a curtain. She mumbled something and then pointed towards her torso.

"I'm going to lift up your shirt cricket, that okay?" She clearly was uncomfortable, but nodded her head in consent.

Steve turned his body away from her, trying to give the young lady privacy.

"Well, your third rib is definitely bruised, possibly fractured. There is blood on your jeans, were these already ripped or did this happen in the alley?" Clint asked.

"Oh they were already ripped," she replied, "but I think my knee was scrapped up when he dragged me into the alley. "

"I am going to put some peroxide on it, ointment on your ribs, and when you are lucid then we can give you some pain pills."

August looked over at Steve who was still staring at the door and smiled a big goofy grin.

"Now tell me who that cutie pie is Clint! Is he a superhero too?" She poked her finger at his chest and wiggled her eyebrows.

As Clint finished bandaging her knee, he stated, "That my dear, is Steve Rogers."

She immediately stood up knocking Clint off of her.

"Steve Rogers? As in _the_ Steve Rogers?" she questioned, her eyes flicking between the two men.

At this point Steve had turned around. He knew that August probably wouldn't remember this, but it was important that he made a good impression. Barton had told him to shake her hand, skin to skin. This would show August that he wasn't scared and had nothing to hide. He extended his hand.

Instead of reaching out her own hand, August unbuttoned her pants and unzipped the zipper surprisingly quick.

"Whoa Gus! I raised you better than that! Don't you take off your pants for someone just because you think they are attractive!" Clint tried to grab at her, but she hopped over the other side of the room.

"But Clint! I'm fixin to show him-"

"That's enough! You aren't fixin to show him anything!" He stomped towards her. She yelped and got one pant leg off. Pointing down at her underwear, "LOOK! They are Captain America panties!" She tripped and fell to the floor still trying to wiggle her other leg out laughing like a lunatic.

Steve turned bright red and let out an uncomfortable laugh. Finally, free of her pants, she pointed to her boyshort underwear that were red, white, and blue.

"See? I am a big fan! I love captains! And I love Americas!"

Clint picked her up and threw her as gently as he could, avoiding that hurt rib, over his shoulder.

Steve was getting a little flustered. Her cute ass was in the air and he could clearly see written, "The First Avenger."

"Sorry man! She is normally not like this at all. Must be the drugs talking. I'll get her into bed."

"But Clint! I want him to see how legit they are! Come count the stripes Steve! They are very detailed! 13 of these suckers!" She yelled with drunken sincerity. Steve finally lost it, erupting into a stream of laughter.

It was clear to him that this girl was going to change his life… and hopefully Bucky's life as well.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Finally, some Bucky action! Hip-Hip-Hooray!Enjoy!

My hands were sweating like a whore in church. Big changes always put me on edge. My life was changing… again. Just when I thought things were settling down, my world was flipped on its axis.

As the car pulled up to Avenger's facility, I found my jaw dropping a little. This place was enormous. If I was not in a car, I would officially be pacing.

"I can hear your brain buzzing from here Gus," came Barton's voice from the front seat.

"This place is crazy ass huge! You know I am directionally challenged," I sighed already disgruntled.

The car pulled to a stop and Steve Rogers opened my door for me. I pulled myself out of the car, thanked him, and looked around. A low whistle burst from my lips.

"Yep. I am gonna get lost for sure," I commented more to myself than anyone else.

"This way Gus!" Barton looped his arms through mine and started to pull me towards my future.

My yellow maxi dress swished in front of me. My steady steps belied my true feelings inside. We stepped into what seemed to be a living room of sorts.

"If it isn't Ms. Southern Sweet Pea herself," came a confident voice from the kitchen area. Standing there with a scotch in his hand was none other than Tony Stark. He had a cocky half smile on his face and was wearing sunglass inside. _Predictable._

"Lemme guess, Iron Man," came my voice.

"In the flesh. Literally," his hand extended towards mine. I looked at Clint warily wondering if Mr. Stark had been briefed on my.. condition.

"I know about your poison skin, my dear. And you know, I am awfully curious to see how it works. I am a little skeptical being a man of science," he waggled his eyebrows and gave me a charming smile.

I giggled and questioned, "You have your doubts?"

"Maybe. Let's just say that I prefer to test my hypothesis before I declare them as truths. I just don't see how a little thing like you could pose such a threat."

I walked closer to him leaving Barton and Rogers to stand near the couches. I had a sultry grin on my face and swayed my hips. He wanted to test my abilities. So be it. I love a good challenge.

"Well let me show you how much this 'little thing' can really do. Now correct me if I am wrong, but you and Ms. Pepper Potts are an item, right?" he nodded still looking skeptical.

"Gus. Be careful," Barton chimed in. Rogers gave him a worried look not knowing what to expect.

"Would you say that you… love her?" He nodded again his eyebrows scrunching together quizzically.

"As in only have eyes for her?" I asked in a lower, huskier voice. I started the pace behind him coming close enough to almost rub against him.

"Of course. Get to the point," he stated confused as to where this was going.

"I bet that I can get you to change your mind with one touch of my finger," I wiggled my finger in front of his eyes.

"Ill believe it when I see it sweet pea." I grinned real wide.

This was something I rarely did anymore. I tried to use my abilities only for good and never for selfish gain… alright almost never. However, I was willing to use my abilities to stick it to Tony Stark. He had moved to lean his back against the granite counter top with his arms crossed.

I stepped right into his personal space and looked up at him through my lashes. My semi- low cut yellow dress swished around my legs. His eyes dilated, a natural reaction. I wouldn't say I am a bombshell, I could lose a little weight, but I knew that I had certain assets and knew how to turn on the charm to get myself out of sticky situations.

I ran my finger down his clothed long sleeve. I saw goose bumps break out on his neck.

He raised one perfectly arched eyebrow. My bare finger tip landed on his bare wrist. _Desire. Lust. Want._

I projected those feelings with all that I had. He leaned in, eyes locked on mine.

I said in a low, seductive voice loud enough for everyone to hear, "Do you still love Pepper, Tony?"

"Who's Pepper?" he asked as if in a trance. I giggled and stood on my tip toes to get closer to his ear.

"Who do you love the most?" I asked.

"You. I love you and I would do anything you want! You want money? Cars? Flowers? Anything!"

Rogers' jaw dropped and I threw a wink at them over my shoulder. I could see Tony's eyes drifting over my body. I laughed again and said,

"If you really love me, then you will cluck like a chicken."

Instantly, He started clucking. My finger came off of his skin.

"Really mean it Tony," I encouraged him laughing a bit evilly

He started moving his hands back and forth as if they were wings. His clucking became louder. Clint was officially laughing and holding his sides.

"How long does it last?" Cap asked curiously.

"Oh it depends on the type of contact and how connected I am to the actual emotion I am projecting… seeing as I've never actually been in love, it should really only last about two more minutes."

I went to look around the kitchen. Baking is one of the most relaxing things in my opinion. And boy, was the kitchen a chef's dream.

"So you have to have access to the emotion you are trying to get someone to feel?"

"Basically. From a psychological standpoint, anger is one of the easiest… lust too…. Love is more complicated because there ware different types of love, levels, hindrances, so on and so forth."

"Wow, Gus. It's weird seeing you do _that_. You're still that sweet, innocent teenager in my head," Barton commented.

"Well, you can thank Natasha for that. She came and visited me a couple of years ago right after the New York thing, and gave me some pointers," I explained.

Tony finally stopped clucking and shook his head trying to clear the fog out.

"Holy. Shit." He mumbled rubbing his forehead.

"So Mr. Stark, still think I am a defenseless little girl?" I asked as I opened the giant stainless steel fridge.

"That was.. that was unlike anything that's ever happened," he spoke.

"I may not be as skilled in flying or fighting, but I've got a couple of things up my sleeve." I turned back around to face all of them smiling big.

"Enough about my freaky ways! Show me around this place!"

We walked around, the first stop being my new room. It was way nicer than my old apartment. There was a huge bed in the center that looked like a cloud straight out of heaven. It seemed a little… hospital-ish. I was going to have to change that.

Then I was pointed in the direction of the labs that were used for research. I couldn't help but stiffen at their mention. Then Tony showed me the garage. It was filled with expensive cars and motorcycles.

"Trying to compensate for something, Mr. Stark?" I joked.

"No ma'am. I am the full _package_ deal," He commented giving me a lewd wink.

 _At_ this point, Clint got a call and said he was going to report in. Cap said he wanted to show me to where we would be training. I groaned internally. Physical exercise. Gross.

As we walked towards the glorified gym, I saw Tony and Steve exchanged glances. Curious, I smiled at Steve and brushed my hand against his as if it was an accident. _Worried. Anxious._

Steve Rogers really needs to calm down I thought to myself. Steve glanced down at me, but seemed none the wiser.

"Welcome to my crib," joked Tony as he pushed the double doors open. My mouth opened in shock again. It was like a whole fucking gym. There were treadmills, elipticals, bikes, weight machines, a boxing ring, and so many things that I didn't even recognize. My ears picked up heavy pants and a repetitive thud. Over in the back corner, a tough man was beating the shit out of a punching bag. He had long dark hair, strong shoulders, lots of rippling muscles, and… a metal arm? Something flashed in the back of my head. As if a memory fought to resurface. I looked at Steve who was watching my face carefully.

"You okay?" he asked me, making meaningful eye contact with Tony. _Why do they keep doing that?_ If only I was a mind reader as well. I looked over at the man with the metal arm. He looked familiar. I stated my thoughts out loud. Tony made a low noise. He seemed agitated.

"That is my best friend, but the media knows him as the Winter Soldier."

"That's my cue to leave. Ms. McKay, if you need anything don't hesitate to ask!"

I was still trying to swallow the information I just learned. I looked at Steve warily.

"He wasn't guilty of the assassination. He has been through a lot. He means so much to me. We.. I was hoping that maybe you could get to know him? Maybe see if you can help him?"

Steve seemed very vulnerable as he disclosed this information to me. I didn't need to touch him to understand the hope in his eyes. I could see that he really cared about this guy.

Steve had helped save my life and he had Clint's seal of approval, so I knew in that moment that I was going to help Steve and… his friend.

I squared my shoulders and marched towards the back of the gym. Steve tried to grab my shoulder.

"Wait Gus! Let's make sure he's… uh himself." I raised one eyebrow in question as we slowly walked over together. When we were about five feet away, we stopped, but the Winter Soldier did not. He kept pounding the punching bag with all that he had. Sweat dripped from his face.

"Buck? You good?" His punch faltered for a second but then he kept pounding. I moved closer. Steve grabbed my wrist trying to pull me back which stung a little due to the still healing bruises there. I rolled my eyes at him and ripped my hand free, determined to talk to this man.

"Hey there. My name's August McKay. Nice to meet you sir," I said my southern accent ringing out. He stopped suddenly. He turned his body square towards me his fists still raised. Blue eyes pierced into my soul. His chest was heaving up and down trying to catch his breath.

"Bucky, this is the girl I told you about," Steve stepped right behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder, hands brushing my bare skin.

I tried to ignore the emotions he was feeling; I was a little more preoccupied with the man in front of me. He seemed to be fighting something just under the surface. He was a puzzle... I like puzzles.

He lowered his hands, but kept making fists as if agitated. With as much confidence as I could muster, I extended my hand to him. His eyes flicked to Steve and then to my hand and then back to me. Instead of shaking my hand, he immediately pushed past Steve and I, exiting the gym with huge, determined strides not looking back.

"Well that went well." I commented feeling rejected. Steve sighed and ran his hand through his hair.


	5. Chapter 5

Later that night, I tossed and turned as I thought about the Winter Solider. Steve had filled me in on his situation. It was just so… disheartening. But it was clear that, at least in Steve's eyes, there was hope. Something about this Bucky Barnes haunted me. I couldn't shake a feeling of nostalgia. I had followed the news like a crazy woman during all of the shenanigans with Shield and Hydra, looking for news about Clint. Maybe it was just those icy eyes.

I sighed as I rolled over again. I looked at the alarm clock next to the bed. 2:07 A.M I tried closing my eyes again, but sleep was not coming to me. Cilantro was getting annoyed with my constant moving. Giving up, I pulled my still sore body from bed. My bare feet hit the cold hard wood. Maybe some water would help?

Wearing only an oversized t-shirt and my black panties, I peered outside my door. I wasn't too far from the kitchen. I quietly padded through the hall hoping to God that I was going in the right direction. As I walked, dim little floor lights lit up.

"Fancy ass shit," I grumbled to myself as I finally made my way into the kitchen.

I looked for the light, brushing my hands against the walls clumsily. Finally, I flicked the pot lights on and stood on my tip toes to reach a glass from the cupboard. My shirt raised and I finally grasped a cup of some sort. I turned around to walk towards the sink and was greeted with a broad chest in my face. I screamed which was muffled by a hand and the glass fell shattering on the floor barely missing my foot. The hand was immediately removed and the body moved back. It was none other than the Winter Soldier.

My heart thumped in my chest, my adrenaline doing its job. I realized that the only reason Bucky had taken his hand off of my mouth is because I must have projected my fear onto him. His hands were gripping the granite with a steel like grip. His eyes bored into mine as he breathed deeply as if trying to calm himself. A flash of clarity ran through his eyes.

"Holy mess! You scared me!" I said breathily.

I looked down at the shattered glass all around my bare feet. He still didn't say anything. His eyes scanned up and down and I suddenly remembered my state of undress. I nervously pulled at the hem of my shirt wishing it was a tiny bit longer. My face blushed a fierce red. Just my luck.

"Ugh. You are the third person to catch me in my skivvies in the past two days," I said more to myself than to the imposing man in front of me.

Thinking about how to clean up the mess I had made I almost didn't hear him say, "At least, you're not asking me to count the stripes."

I did a double take and realized that Steve must have informed his best friend about my drunken strip tease from earlier that week. My face turned even redder and I laughed running my hand through my unruly hair, not sure how to respond.

He stepped towards me glass crunching under his boots. Out of reflex, I stepped back. My back hit the counter behind me.

"Do I scare you?" he asked in a hushed voice. His eyes bore into mine his metal arm gleaming under the soft kitchen lights. It was like he was trying to see into my soul.

"N-no. You don't. Well, yes you just did… But not because it's you but because I had no clue you were out here. What were you doing any ways?" I questioned trying to put a stop to my rambling.

"Couldn't sleep," came his cryptic answer.

"Me either. I guess it must be the new bed." I suddenly felt nervous. _Should_ I be scared of this guy? His glance went downward towards the glass. My eyes followed.

"I guess we should find something to clean-" my voice was cut off as two sturdy hands clasped my hips and lifted me into the air. I yelped and struggled as he pulled me into his arms.

"Put me down! What the hell?" I punched him in the chest panicking and he let out a huff of amusement. That made me annoyed so I wiggled as he moved me out of the kitchen. He then gently set me down on the couch. I gave him a look that was a mix between pissed off and confused.

"Didn't want you to cut yourself," he stated it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. He then walked to a small storage closet and pulled out a broom and dust pan. I stood to help him.

"I can help. It was my glass anyways," I said. His glare cut me off and stopped my movement.

"It's my fault. You just sit there doll and I'll clean this up." His voice left little room for argument.

There was something endearing about watching this extremely tough looking guy sweep. A giggle left my lips on accident and my hand flew over my mouth. He looked up at me and I could see the corner of his lips tilt upward.

"Well, shut the front door, the Winter Soldier can smile," I joked.

He looked at me as he kept sweeping, but said, "Call me Bucky or James."

"So you don't hate me?" I asked remembering earlier that day.

He didn't say anything and shrugged his broad shoulders. We sat in silence as he cleaned up the last bits of glass. This time I did stand up and I sauntered over to the cabinet to get a new glass.

With as much grace as I could, I reached for the glass, my shirt starting to raise. I hesitated. I didn't even know this man. Too much thigh for a man who hadn't even taken me to dinner yet. I couldn't just- my thought was cut off by his body brushing against my backside as he pulled down a glass for me. He handed to me with his metal arm. I turned towards him, our faces really close. He looked at me as if he had x-ray vision.

"Thanks." I turned away towards the sink, filled my glass, and took a big, nervous sip of water.

 _Try and act cool._

"So do you always run around half naked?" he quipped. My water spurted out of my mouth and I accidently snorted.

 _Great job._

"I try not make it a habit," I laughed, "I just didn't think anyone else would be awake at this time."

He nodded, got real quiet, then finally said, "Sorry about this afternoon… and for scaring you."

"It's okay. Steve told me.. that you've been through a lot and sometimes… you get lost in thought. Exercise is a great outlet though," I commented taking another big sip of water. He stared at me intently. We sat in a comfortable silence as I finished my water. I set the glass in the sink.

"Well, I guess I should try and get some shut eye. Especially cus Steve said we were gonna start training tomorrow," I remembered.

"I'll walk you to your room," he offered quietly.

We walked through the barely lit hall back to my room. The only thing that could be heard was the pitter=patter of my feet against the hard wood. I could feel him staring at me. Maybe my lack of clothing upset him? He was from a completely different generation.

We got to my room and I opened the door. A meow greeted me. Bucky leaned in close. My heart started to thump and I peered at him curiously. Suddenly his hand extended towards me. I smiled a small smile and I gently placed my hand in his, shaking. It was a short handshake, but emotions slammed into me hard. _Pain. Sadness. Frustration. Anger. Guilt._ And a tiny sliver of _Happiness._

I got in bed even more haunted than I had been earlier.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks for all of the follows and for those who have reviewed! I am glad that y'all like it! I am a sucker for Bucky Barnes. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. I liked writing for August in this chapter. I love the idea of a character who doesn't know how to do all of the super hero things and has to ask questions. Happy reading!**

The smell in the air mirrored the juxtaposition of the predicament I was currently in. I took in a deep breath smelling the mix of salt, musk, antiseptic, and clean leather; a contrast, just like me. I could hear the pounding of someone's feet against the roving fake sidewalk of the treadmill. The faint clank of metal against metal as someone literally pumped iron was jarring to my senses. Here I am in a roided-out gym, preparing to get in shape with a superhero. He, the salt and musk; me, the antiseptic and leather. I felt out of place surrounded by people who screamed in shape, hardcore, and badass. My mind whirled and twirled trying overcome my sense of intimidation. I had to remind myself that there is a place for antiseptic and leather in a gym; I am not worthless because fighting isn't something natural to me. Steve Rogers sweet smile seemed to put me at ease... a little.

"So Cap, I gotta warn you. I am not in the best shape of my life right now and I tend to be clumsy," I declared as I stretched out my calf muscles.

Thankfully, my bruises were healing and I had been cleared to start the basics with Steve. Rocking my black t-shirt that said _Curves on Fleek_ and some spandex running pants, didn't make me feel anymore confident.

"Clint said that you would say that. I think you underestimate yourself August. You held your own the other night and according to you file you regularly attend yoga and Zumba classes... which I admit I had to look up," Steve was trying to make me feel better. I laughed at his attempt and replied,

"Zumba classes and yoga do not make me Natasha Romanoff, but I appreciate your optimism."

As I stretched out my arms, Steve asked me to go over things that I remembered concerning self- defense.

When I was 16 years old, before I was abducted, and especially after, Clint had taught me general rules of thumb to implement to keep myself out of trouble.

"Clint said elbows are a great weapon, go for the knee because they are hard to defend and there is a nerve right next to the shin that will make someone double over in pain…. Um anything in your purse can be a weapon. And a good thwack to the ear will disorient your attacker." I listed thinking back to those days in the safe house.

"All great points. First things first, prevention is the best self defense technique. Be aware of your surroundings, as I am sure Clint has taught you," I nodded.

Steve stepped into my personal space. I looked up taking in his prominent jaw line.

 _Jaws are so underrated. Who new that Captain America had such a nice jaw bone?_

"Now if someone is going to attack you in close proximity, use that to your advantage. Although you are short, you are probably quicker than your attacker."

I tried to refocus and calm my raging hormones.

Steve walked me through several moves showing me what to do if someone was to grab me by the wrist or arm. We practiced over and over again. I was starting to break a sweat, struggling with some moves.

"Muscle memory, Gus. That's what it is all about," He kept repeating.

We paused for a water break as more people started to come in. Most were employees of Stark Industries; one was someone who looked familiar.

"So, Cap, are you going to introduce me to this lovely young lady," the tall black man said with a huge, genuine smile.

"Sam Wilson, this is August Mckay. She will be staying with us for a while," Steve said.

"I would shake your hand, but I am extremely gross and sweaty right now," I laughed wiping sweat from my brow, emphasizing my point. I wonder if other people could smell me. I grimaced on the inside.

"Still beautiful though," he complimented with a wink.

"Oh, I like you Sam!" I giggled a wide smile gracing my face.

"I am refreshing August on basic self defense. She is doing a great job," Steve commented taking another sip of water. The jerk hadn't even broken a sweat. I kind of hate him right now.

"You don't have to lie, Steve," I knew that Steve was going _way_ easy on me.

"Show me what you got," Sam stated as he stepped towards me.

"Here's a scenario- what would you do if Sam attacked you from behind," Steve offered.

"Um, elbow to the solar plex, head butt, and stomp on his foot?" I questioned.

"Let's try it!" Sam came at me and I went through the motions.

"Good!" Steve stated.

"I have a question. What would I do if my arms where pinned?"

"You can still do the foot stomp and if your attacker is male his groin would be vulnerable to attack," Sam walked me through the motions. I couldn't help but blush at his close proximity.

"Don't actually hit me in the crouch," he laughed.

People started coming over and offering pointers and tips creating different scenarios. Although, it was hard work, I was actually enjoying myself. I felt like I was learning.

As people came and went, I practiced so many different techniques. As a rather large ex-shield agent stepped up to watch, it inspired me to ask,

"How do I land punches and kicks on someone so much… bigger than me?"

"Striking is not necessarily about punching or kicking. It's about throwing your body weight strategically at someone. Even if you are on the smaller side, focus on leveraging your weight to cause the most damage," came the deep, husky voice of James Buchannan Barnes.

He stepped towards me and said,

"Get into your stance, but put your arms behind your back."

His voice made me break out in goose bumps. I looked at Steve in confusion, but he nodded his head giving me the okay. I stepped into a boxer's stance and put my arms behind my back. Bucky circled around me, making me slightly nervous. His booted foot kicked my right leg out slightly. He then stood in front of me in his stance with his arms behind him.

"Now bend your knees and throw your body weight at me, aim so that your shoulder lands in my solar plexus," I hesitated. _Is this safe?_

"You're not going to hurt me… and I am not going to hurt you," he stated with a stern resolution. I nodded and came at him. When my body hit his, he swayed back, but his feet stayed relatively planted.

"That the best you got?" he taunted. I glared at him and tried again, this time with all my might. This time, he was knocked back a little.

"Good. Again." We practiced that drawing even more of a crowd. Apparently, lots of people were interested in seeing a 5'1" southern girl try and beat up the Winter Soldier.

"This time do the same thing expect use your forearm to knock me in the throat," He ordered.

"Like this?" I asked as I lifted my arm.

"Just like that," Steve commented. I had almost forgotten that he was there. It was hard not to get lost in Bucky's eyes.

"When you come at me, focus your body weight behind the impact point. Put your full weight behind that forearm," Bucky still had his arms behind his back, but he gave me a challenging look.

I came at him with all I had and slammed my forearm into his throat. He stumbled back and then he made a noise low in his throat. Suddenly, he stepped towards me arms coming out to swing. Steve, immediately threw his body in between us. Bucky stopped and shook his head as if shaking away the cobwebs of his past. Everyone was dead quiet. I could see a look of shame come over Bucky's face.

"That was awesome! Sam, did you see? I did it!" I jumped up and down and laughed trying to break the tension. Sam, sensing what I was doing, cheered along with me.

"Look at you, you badass!" he picked me up under the armpits and spun me around. That seemed to ease the tension in the crowd. He set me down and I saw Bucky and Steve exchanging hushed words. Bucky had control over himself, so I stepped towards him a bit bashfully.

"Thanks Bucky! You, too Steve! I feel like I learned a lot today. I am exhausted though. Sam, you may have to carry me outta here," I joked.

The crowd dissipated and along with them, Bucky. Knowing what I knew about him, I assumed that he was beating himself up. Steve turned towards me putting on his most dashing smile. I wasn't sure if he was trying to reassure me or himself.

After a long, hot shower, I knew that it was unfortunately time to check out my final assignments from my professors. Opening my MacBook, I realized that if I was actually going to be productive, being in my bedroom was probably not the best choice. I tended to fall asleep which is not the optimal decision when trying to write three final essays. I petted Cilantro who seemed to be loving the giant plush bed and gave him a cheddar kitty treat. Grabbing my notebooks and textbooks, I went in search of relaxing place to work.

With some searching I stumbled upon a rather large balcony that had a patio table and umbrella. You could see rolling green grass and the edge of a forest. This felt more like the south than some nameless place in New York. After situating myself, I opened my email, reading the assignments.

"Oh this is going to suck, big time."

Two hours later, I had finished the majority of my first paper which was all about PTSD. I couldn't help but think about Bucky. On a basic level, that was his biggest issue; however, everything about Bucky did not seem.. basic. But then again, I am not basic either.

What if I could pull the memories of pain and replace them with happiness? Or maybe, he just needs to deal with those repressed memories head-on first? I had never tried to pull memories before, but memories are linked to emotion, so maybe with some trial and error, some good could come of my powers.

"Whatcha doing worrywart?" came Tony's voice from behind me. I jumped a little not realizing he was out there. I gave him a look at the nickname.

"You look like you are worried about something, love," He explained.

"I love it when you call me love. Have you told Pepper about your undying feelings for me yet?"

His laughter barked around me as he pulled out the chair my feet were resting on. My feet hit the ground with a thud. I glared at him in mild irritation.

"No, I think I am going to leave that out the next time we talk."

"Probably a good choice. She is not someone I want hating me, I have some serious respect for that woman. Anyone who can put up with you is a saint in my book. Jesus, must have blessed that woman with unfathomable patience."

"Well, actually, we are kind of on the outs. Her patience has been warring thin. I still love her, but she is pretty angry at me," he disclosed as he placed his feet in my lap. I pulled a face and shoved his nasty shoes off of me.

"What type of angry?" I inquired.

Relationships always interested me. Majoring in psychology will do that to a person. Also, due to my constant moving and um.. skin condition it was hard for me to personally hold a relationship.

"What do you mean? What type of angry?" His eyebrows quirked up behind his sunglasses.

"Well generally there are three types of anger- soft anger and apathy, mood state anger, and intense hatred. Each category contains several different subgenres. For example, soft anger could be characterized as indifferent, cranky, or critical. Where as Intense hatred could be outraged, violent, disgusted-" he interrupted my rant.

"Disgusted sounds about right," he tried to joke but I could tell that it was just a bravado he was putting on.

"I'm sorry Tony. Has she given you a list of grievances?"

"Yeah it's about six pages long. It just sucks because we still have feelings for each other, but I can't get my crazy ass shit together,"

"Well, relationships take time. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship especially when you are a self proclaimed billionaire, superhero. However, keeping the lines of communication open is the first step. Truly listen to her. Most women don't want men to fix their problems, they just want to be heard."

"So you aren't just a sweet southern belle, look who has got some brains on her." He laughed.

"I am the full package deal," I poked him in the chest.

"I see that. I guess you right. I tend to be my own worst enemy when it comes to relationships," He offered honestly.

"I understand that. Imagine trying to get the idea that you convinced someone to love you with your crazy skin out of your head. It's hard for me to trust that people actually care about me .I worry that I… That I projected them into loving me…"my voice caught a little as I got lost in old memories.

He whistled, "Never thought about that sweetheart. Seems like you've got your own issues."

"Speaking of issues, I have got to proofread this paper. One down, two to go! It just sucks that I won't be able to attend my graduation," that thought suddenly popped into my head. After all my hard work and money, I wasn't going to be able to don that cap and gown. Tony, noticing how my face fell, questioned, "Who said you can't go to your graduation?"

"Um.. everyone?" I looked at him as if he was stupid.

"Well, this billionaire, super hero is going to make sure you get your graduation." He promised as he patted me on my back.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello all! Hope life is treating you well. Enjoy the next chapter! Thanks for the feedback, loves!**

* * *

"So when you guys aren't saving the world, what do y'all do for dinner?" I asked Steve later in kitchen. He chuckled and opened the fridge. Cold air engulfed us like a fog rolling over a hill.

"Well, I like a good cheeseburger anytime, but I am not opposed to trying new things."

I laid my hands on one of his giant arms and peered around him into the fridge. The man was wearing a nice plaid button down and khaki pants. Even though, he may not be the most-trendy, he is still darn cute I thought to myself.

"Ohhh sweet potatoes!" I exclaimed with glee glancing into the brown paper bag at the bottom of the fridge.

"What would you say to some grilled chicken, ma'am?" Steve wondered.

"Perfect! You cook the meat and I'll do the sides! There is broccoli as well." Reaching under him, I pulled out what I needed. He pulled out the chicken breasts and we began our meal prep.

"Steve! I found Barbecue sauce! We should make Barbecue chicken," I suggested trying to find the spice cabinet dancing as joy bubbled up inside of me. _God, I love food._

There is one thing that always gets me excited and that's Barbecue. Something about the blend of spicy, sweet, and sticky gets my mouth watering every time.

"Sounds delicious," Came a voice from the living room. I turned to see Sam Wilson with Bucky Barnes trailing behind him.

"Hey fellas! Y'all wanna join us for dinner?" I gave them my most charming smile cocking my head to the side.

"How could we say no to a pretty face like yours, August?" Sam plopped himself down on the barstool on the other side of the kitchen. Bucky was staring at me again. I glanced down making sure I hadn't spilt anything on myself. There was nothing on my black and white polka-dot overall shorts or my black and white stripped undershirt.

 _Maybe he is a stickler for matching?_

I shrugged to myself and continued to look for the spice rack. Finally, finding it on the top shelf of the last cabinet, I blew a loose curl out of my face in frustration. I tucked it back into the red bandana headband as I pondered how to get what I wanted. Being short sucked sometimes. I spun around on my heel and set my sights on the handsome, blue eyed man leaning against the far wall.

"Hey Bucky, could I uh.. borrow your height?" I pointed back at the spice rack.

Without saying a word, he was by my side in a blink of the eye. We stood shoulder to well.. torso looking at the spice rack. His eyes flicked down to mine waiting for directions.

"Hmmm.. I think we should do something bolder and spicy for the sweet potatoes seein' as the Barbecue chicken will be sweet and tangy," Bucky looked down at me skeptically. I patted his metal arm, treating it as if it was normal. He flinched slightly and I tried to give him a reassuring smile.

He seemed on edge since this morning's incident. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it. If anything, we should be happy that he did reign in the Winter Soldier which according to Steve had been something that was nigh impossible in the past. I brushed my bare finger tip across his pulse point on his wrist sending him feelings of peace and calm. His eyes snapped down to my finger and then back up to me.

"Do you see cumin? Maybe paprika? Ohh turmeric! I feel like turmeric is so underrated," He took his eyes off of me to search for the spices I called out. Collecting them all, he placed them on the empty counter space before me.

"Anything else?" he questioned gruffly.

"You happen to know where the cutting board is?"

"It's tucked between the knives and the fridge," rang Sam's voice. I followed his directions, grabbed a knife and the cutting board.

"Sam, you want to come grill the chicken with me?" Steve was holding a pan of basted chicken in one hand and grilling tongs in the other. I laughed.

"You look so domestic, Cap," I commented. He smiled and walked side by side with Sam out the door. As I cut up the broccoli, I realized it was just me and Bucky. I looked up to see that Steve and Sam were watching us as they talked in hushed tones outside.

"They are worse than girls," I mumbled. The tension in the room was like the little bubbles building up in a pot of almost boiling water.

"Bucky, you wanna peel those potatoes for me?" I asked over my shoulder trying to break whatever funk was going on.

"Sure," He agreed as I tossed him the peeler then the sweet potatoes. Our silent working was interrupted when he asked,

"Those bruises on your wrists, they aren't from today right?" he sounded concerned. I looked down at my wrists at the barely there bruises. They had faded significantly, the light outline of fingertips dancing across my pale skin. It was clear to me how observant he was.

"Nah. These are from when I was attacked the other night. I've got one that kind of looks like the state of Texas on my ribs," He quirked one eyebrow at me curiously.

"I could tell you were favoring your right side earlier," I suddenly realized that he was right behind me. I jumped slightly in surprise nicking my finger. Blood split out, dripping out like droplets of rain before a downpour.

"Dammit," I cursed dropping the knife. He immediately grabbed my hurt hand. _Concern. Guilt. Mild Amusement._

"No, Bucky, this ain't your fault, I'm a klutz," I tried to placate his feelings. I tuned out his feelings as he gently pulled my cut finger over towards the sink. Washing off my wound, I realized that this man was actually quite tender when he wanted to be. His eyes flicked down to stubble on his face, his angled nose, his long eyelashes; I took these all in. His eyes widened. I suddenly realized that I had sent him my emotions. _Curiosity. Attraction. Nervous._

I blushed and tried to pull my hand back. He held on with a tighter grip.

"It's okay," he nodded down where our hands were touching attempting to put me at ease. With a couple of words, he had let me know that he understood and accepted that I had a weird, freaky gift and that I had real human emotions.

"So you feel nervous around me?" He asked his breath hitting the side of my neck. _Ugh I wish we weren't touching_. I would rather not broadcast exactly how his close proximity was making me feel.

He turned off the water and pulled out a small first aid kit from under the sink letting go of my finger. I saw something flash in the light.

"Is that a gun under the sink?" I asked in shock. He actually smiled at me as he pulled out peroxide and a couple of Band-Aids. He took hold of my hand again.

"There is one behind the television and under the pool table too. Never know when you will need one. You haven't answered my question _August_."

The way he said my name made a roll of desire crawl up my spine. I quickly ripped my hand free my blush rising up my neck hoping he hadn't realized the effect he had on me. His mouth twitched. _Shit._

"Honestly, yes, but probably not because of the reason you're thinking. You look-look familiar to me," he pulled a face and stepped back, "and I- uh- for an ancient artifact, you're kind of handsome," I chose to answer honestly because in my eyes it seemed that Bucky had been lied to enough for a lifetime. However, a little humor never hurt anyone.

He _was_ hot. He stepped forward back into my personal space. He had a smirk on his face as his hands gently came up to the side of my overalls brushing against my hips like a ghost. He tugged at the straps, pulled me closer, and said in a low, quiet voice,

"You're pretty cute yourself," He suddenly picked me up and placed me on the counter. I landed with an 'oomph' tumbling from my lips. Before I had time to think about what he had just said he grabbed my cut finger, held it over the sink, and poured peroxide on the long cut.

"Shit," I gasped trying to wiggle away from the twinge of pain.

"That's not very lady like," he pointed out with a crooked look. Trying to keep my feelings in check, I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes.

"Yes, dad, I'll watch what I say." He tugged at my cut finger a little harder than necessary as he opened up the Band-Aids. Using his mouth to tear them open, he gingerly wrapped up my finger. There was something about James Buchanan Barnes that pulled me in.

"It's too shallow to need stitches, should heal in a little over a week," his cold metal fingers brushed against the bruises on my wrist. Feeling self-conscious, I pulled my hand back and jumped off the counter. Why was I letting this man that I barely knew, get so close to me?

Although, I would consider myself outgoing, I didn't just let myself get swept up into some guys arms that I barely knew. _But I know him_. The thought bounced around, echoing through my overworked mind. _No, you don't_. I told myself frowning. I had heard the news, seen the stories, and talked to Steve. The Winter Soldier was not someone you just cuddled up to. In his former life, he was a weapon, sent on missions, hands covered in blood for the sake of HYDRA. But this man standing near me now, who still looked formidable, also looked... fractured. Broken. Searching.

We then sautéed the broccoli with some olive oil, pepper, and lemon and put the diced and spiced sweet potatoes in the oven with some butter.

Pretty soon Sam and Steve waltzed back in and we had ourselves dinner on the patio.

"You sure you don't want a beer Gus?" Steve offered again politely, lifting his own in my direction.

"No thank you. I'm not much of a beer drinker," I replied cutting up my chicken.

"So what do you drink?" Sam asked.

"Well, sweet tea or peach teach are my go-to's, but if I am looking for something a little stronger any red wine, tequila, or some moonshine," I answered shoving a piece of food into my mouth chomping happily.

"Moonshine? Really? I've never had it. Is it any good?"

I tried to finish swallowing and took a sip of my water before I answered.

"Some people don't like it very much. You just have to know where to get the right stuff. My favorite flavor is apple pie moon shine. Cap, where you a drinker in your time?"

Bucky chuckled at my question. Steve gave him a grin right back.

"Buck and I used to throw them back in our day. Now, we uh actually can't get drunk. It's part of the whole super solider thing."

"Can't get drunk? What? Where's the fun in that?" I asked aghast.

"Oh, they just stare at me in envy when I get my buzz going," Sam joked.

"More like make sure you don't do anything stupid," Bucky pointed out.

Dinner finished up and Sam and I cleaned the dishes together. I found out that that we had something in common.

"So your Daddy was a pastor too?" I inquired rubbing the wash cloth back and forth over the plate.

"Yes indeed. My old pops was a hell of a man. He always was on the straight and narrow. Naturally, as a pastor's kid, I was your typical goody-two shoes, which was good considering the gang activity in our part of town. What about you?"

"I was kind of a mix of a goody-two shoes and a rebellious wild child. It just depended on my mood. I had some issues controlling my erm.. gift back then. After my parents passed, I promised myself I would figure out how to better control myself."

Sam got a far off look in his eyes. I handed him my plate to dry and my hand touched his.

 _Sadness. Loneliness. Loss._

I suddenly realized that Sam and I had more in common than I thought. All of our parents were dead.

"Hey, I understand. It's hard losing your parents at such a young age. All we can do is try and make them proud, right? And from what I've heard, that's certainly what your doin' Sam," I gave him a sad smile and handed him the last plate.

"Thanks Gus. You're alright, you know that?"

"Ha. I appreciate that. Not everyone agrees with you," I bumped my shoulders against him in a sign of comradery.

"Now, I highly doubt that ma'am. You're as sweet as sunshine!" came Steve's voice came from the table he and Bucky were seated at. Steve was nursing another beer and Bucky… Bucky was cleaning a gun. I rolled my eyes.

"You may think that now, but I'm a spit fire when I'm angry. I could give the Hulk a run for his money," I winked.

"I am personal friends with the Hulk and I highly doubt that."

"Yeah, maybe not that mad, but I do get a little irrational. My daddy used to say that he prayed that God would bring me a nice southern gent who could deal with my temper."

Bucky started to chuckle. Which surprised me. I looked at him confusedly and Steve threw him a pointed glance. He put his gun down.

"I'm sorry. I just… I could see it. Little thing like you all riled up would be pretty hilarious, I think."

I marched over to were he was sitting and gave him a playful shove.

"You watch out James Buchanan Barnes! I'll have to whip out my teacher voice on you. I've been told that it strikes fear into the hearts of second graders everywhere," I countered bringing up my student teaching, placing my hands on my hips.

"Oh, I'm sure." He rolled his eyes when he said that. I scoffed crossing my arms and stomped my right foot. He laughed again. Steve and Sam smiled too.

"Y'all are the worst. One day, y'all will regret that you mocked me," I winked and grabbed my glass of water that I had left out.

"Well, I better get back to my essays. If it's ever safe for me to live a normal life, I'd like to have my degrees to fall back on. "

I wished everyone goodnight and headed towards my room. I could feel those dark icy eyes following me the whole way there.

* * *

 **AN: I am already working on the next chapter, it should be up soon! Hope y'all enjoyed!**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I really like the interaction between Gus and Bucky in this chapter. I hope y'all love it too! Keep the comments rolling, I've really appreciated the feedback.**

* * *

Upon reflection, I realized that there was some sort of gravitational pull between Bucky and myself. It was those eyes. They pulled me in, made me curious, made me want more, made my finger tips itch to touch him. This sense of de ja vu just nagged and nagged in the back of my mind. I mean, I acknowledge and accepted that I was.. attracted to the guy. Part of dealing with my powers, was being honest and processing each emotion as it came. Maybe it was my desire to try and help? He had such a lost look about him. Although he was rough around the edges, it was nice seeing him laugh with Steve and joke with Sam.

The next morning, after pondering the Bucky situation, I decided I wanted more information. I hate the feeling of not knowing something. I've always been like this as long as I can remember. I won't do something unless I know about it. Even on my 21st birthday, I researched all of the bars I wanted to hit up, how to stay hydrated, general safety tips, the best directions; none of that stopped my ragging hangover the next day. With Bucky, my desire to know more, to understand was... overwhelming. Getting up, having I plan, I took the next logical step. I straightened my hair, did my make up, and donned a pair of high wasted floral shorts, a black midriff top and a white cardigan. Forgoing shoes, I waltzed into the kitchen and rummaged around for the ingredients that I needed whistling horribly off-tuned as I worked.

"Well good morning Betty Crocker!" I didn't need to turn around to know that Tony was behind me.

'Well hey Megatron!" I said in a cheerful tone mixing up my ingredients.

"Planning on making something delicious for me?" He leaned over my shoulder and snatched up a piece of sliced peach. I smacked his hand away from my cutting board giving him a mildly irritated huff. He seemed undeterred and tried to pilfer another piece.

"No siree. I am planning on getting intel." I stated frankly.

"Now, I am not following."

"Well. I want to get access to some files and I am going to get that access through my grandmother's recipe for peach cobbler," I heard a meow come from the end of the hall.

"Cilantro!" my voice rang in an obnoxious baby voice. My cat patted down the hall and then rubbed up against my legs.

"Look at you exploring this brave new world," I spoke to him.

"Tony, could you give him a good scratch behind the ears, my hands are a little full," I motioned towards my hands, wrist deep in peaches.

Tony hummed and then leaned down hesitantly petting my cat.

"You know Mrs. Butterworth, I can get you whatever intel you need…. This is my building."

"I realize this, Tony. However, I'd like to go about this the old fashioned way. It allows me to meet important people who can maybe help me in the future AND I get what I need. Plus, I don't want you snooping in my business either."

"I AM an important person that can help you in the future. Come on, kid. I'm boreeedddd," Tony whined picking up Cilantro and holding him in his arms. The black and white cat started to purr.

Right before I could reply, his phone started ringing. He answered and I put my cobbler in the oven.

"Scratch that, love. Gotta go hit the lab," He put my cat down and patted me on the top of my head. I shoved his hands away from me. I hated it when people did that.

"Smells delicious, don't get into trouble!" He sang as he started towards the door hurriedly.

After putting on my black heeled booties, I put on oven mitts, grabbed my piping hot cobbler, and attempted to find the administration area of this massive facility.

 _I should've researched the layout of this freakin' building._

After ten minutes of walking around aimlessly, I turned a corner and skidded to a stop right before me and my cobbler collided with the Winter Soldier. I yelped and barely kept my balance, pan sliding to the very tips of my oven mitts.

Bucky gave me an up-down look and the right corner of his frown flipped upward. That look did things to my body. I shook my head trying to act like a normal person not a horny teenager.

"You lost McKay?"

I looked at him with mild desperation and nodded. He stepped closer to me and I could feel the warmth of his chest. I looked up at him hoping he would point me in the right direction before I said or did something embarrassing.

"The administration offices?" I squeaked.

His bare pointer finger swept across my cheek. Heat rolled from my neck up. I pulled back a little surprised. I felt fascination coming off of him. I cocked my head and gave him a look that clearly showed my confusion.

"Flour."

"Huh?" I asked like an idiot still lost.

"You had flour on your cheek. It was hiding your freckles." He stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. I blushed lightly and looked down at my feet. He stepped a little closer. Did he feel it to? This pull, similar to an undertow in the ocean. Crashing waves of desire, curiosity, and calmness dragging me out to sea. I wanted to be dragged out.

 _Get a grip, girl!_

"Oh. Well thanks. I've been baking up a storm. Um… so which way do I go?" I asked breaking the spell.

"Down the hall, take the first left, and then hop on the elevators on the right. 6th floor."

I repeated the directions twice and he nodded his hair shaking along with his handsome face.

Suddenly his hand grabbed the hem of my top and pulled. His metal arm brushed ever so lightly against the skin above my belly button. I almost died right there.

"You're missing half your shirt," I blushed harder and stepped back. I laughed nervously shifting the weight of the cobbler in my hands. He said it without any inflection, as if he was stating a general fact. His human arm reached out for me again. Panicking, unsure how to take his comment I spoke quickly.

"Okay, modesty patrol. Gotta go!" I danced around him and headed towards my destination. I could've sworn that before I turned down the hall that I heard him mutter, "I've always loved those freckles."

* * *

The elevator doors opened and I was greeted by a receptionist. Her name plate said Bethany Cabe. The woman was quickly typing away with a pen lying in between her perfectly white teeth. Her blonde hair was swept up in a tight bun and her eyes were laser focused on whatever task she was completing. I paused trying to assess the best approach. Having skin like mine made me overly aware of social situations. I always analyzed people's expressions, body language, and tone. When I was younger, I made a game of it. I would take a look at someone, consider all the factors, take a guess on what they were feeling, and then test my theory by touching them casually. It was fun and a good test of my skills. This woman didn't scream fun, but more like a challenge.

"Hello Miss Cabe. I was hopin' that you could point me in the direction of Ms. Maria Hill. Is she by any chance in right now?" I asked in my most polite voice.

Without even looking at me, she replied tersely, "Do you have an appointment?"

"Well no ma'am. I was hopin' to stop by and drop off this homemade peach cobbler."

I placed the cobbler on the edge of her desk. Her eyes finally looked at me and she also gave me a once over. I gave her my most enchanting smile sensing that she was a no-nonsense kind of lady.

"I'm not supposed to let anyone back without clearance and an appointment," she spoke as I gently reached forward and touched the top of her bare hand.

"Miss, I would really like to get back there and talk to Maria. I'll make sure she shares some of this cobbler with ya. I promise you can trust me." I pushed as much trust into her as I could, replacing her impatience and she immediately smiled.

"Oh of course! She has the office in back on the left. Her name is on the door. Make sure to knock dear!"

"Oh thank you so much! Bless your heart!"

Knocking on the door, I heard a stern "Enter!"

Opening the door with one mitted hand was difficult, but manageable.

I walked in seeing my target looking down at a file.

"Hello, are you Maria Hill?" I inquired.

"Yes. And you must be August McKay." I placed the peach cobbler on her desk and reached my hand out at her. She did not return the sentiment keeping her hands folded under her chin. I knew immediately that the jig was up.

"How'd ya know?"

"It's the only explanation I can think of for how you got past Bethany."

I laughed the corner of my eyes crinkling with mirth. I decided to explain.

"Natasha told me about you a couple years back. Said you were loyal, hard working, and worth getting to know. So I baked up my grandma's peach cobbler and brought it over!"

She laughed and looked me straight in the eye.

"What do you want Ms. McKay?" getting to the point.

I was a little a taken back. This lady knew her shit. I laughed again and plopped myself down in one of the plush, leather chairs in her office, it squelching under my weight as the bare skin of my thighs rubbed against the material. Explaining apparently needed to be truthful, lacking bullshit with this lady.

"You're as sharp as a tack, Ms. Hill. Well, you see, I am on a self-appointed mission to see if I can help one James Buchanan Barnes. As I am sure you know, I have certain abilities that I think can help me, help him. I am being blatantly honest with you because although I don't know you too well, I respect you. I don't want you to think I'm pulling one over on you." I pulled out a fork, taking off the tin foil. The mouth watering scent of melted butter and baked peaches wafted into the air. I placed the fork in front of her making a show of not touching her. I then held both of my palms in the air, wiggling my fingers.

She looked at me with a knowing glance. If I couldn't convince her with my fingertips, maybe I could with umptious, scrumptious desert.

"I can't be bribed with peach cobbler Ms. McKay." I felt almost like I was in the principal's office trying to maneuver my way out of a sticky situation.

"Oh I know that! It really is just my way of showing some southern hospitality around here. It's what I was raised to do. It's life changing, I swear! Now, please take a bite and let me know what you think!" I smiled encouragingly and moved the cobbler closer to her. She hesitated for a second, then grabbed the fork and scooped up a little bite. My grin grew wider. As she placed the warm goop in her mouth, she made a noise of pleasure. I clapped my hands together and flat out giggled.

"Pure sin, right?" I asked leaning in towards her, palms coming to the edge of her desk. She groaned again and scooped up another bite.

Finally, after swallowing her third bite, she put the fork down and smiled back at me.

"That was one of the most delicious things I have ever had the pleasure of eating."

"My grandmother would be beamin' to hear you say that ma'am!"

After a brief chat about the ingredients, she stood and excused herself to go to the filing room.

She returned with a rather thick folder that she dropped down with a thwack in front of me. It was filled with red post-its spilling out on the sides indicating that things had been marked or possibly redacted.

"I'll warn you Ms. McKay. It contains some heavy stuff. Mr. Barnes has been through hell and back. Once you read it… you can never go back.''I nodded, undeterred. I needed to help Bucky and Steve. It had been a long time since I was able to truly use my powers for good, to make a difference. I liked the idea of feeling useful, changing someone's life.

"Thank you so much Ms. Hill. I really do appreciate you getting this for me. And next time, I'll bring you some apple pie! And I won't even ask for a favor!" I exclaimed happy that I had gotten what I wanted.

"You can call me Maria. And thank you for this cobbler. It really is life changing."

I excused myself, totting my loot in my arms as if I had a precious gift. Although, I felt like maybe I was intruding, I still wanted to know the best approach in helping Bucky.

* * *

Maria Hill took another bite of the ooey gooey cobbler and dialed a phone number.

"Hey Cap. She came and asked for the file just like you predicted…. Yes I removed the section you asked me to… Uh hu… she is really sweet… okay, no problem. Anytime." She hung up the phone and debated whether not to share the cobbler or eat the whole damn thing by herself.

* * *

Two weeks had gone by since I had gone on my little mission to get Bucky's file. I still hadn't read it. I was so determined at first, but something was suddenly holding me back. I had stuck it between my mattress and my bed frame. I had been really busy with finishing and turning in my papers and some more training with Steve that I had almost intentionally used my schedule as an excuse for not checking out the file. I had this underlying feeling of it not being my place.

Currently I was laying in bed with my legs in the air looking at my feet. It was around 3 in the morning and my mind was buzzing like a hive that had been poked with a stick. I groaned and Cilantro meowed at my crazy attics. I pulled myself out of bed, turned on the night lamp and paced. Would it be a breach of trust to read Bucky's file?

Fuck. I need to get out of this room.

I walked down the hall towards the kitchen. Opening the fridge without turning on the light, I found a juicy piece of watermelon. Shoving it into my mouth, chomping away in joy, I was glad that I left my toxic room. Suddenly, I heard a muffled noise coming from further down the hall. Curious and alert, I looked around. Not seeing anyone in the living room area, I quietly ventured towards the source of the sound. As I slowly got closer to where I thought the noise was coming from, I realized like it sounded like someone in… agony. I abruptly stopped in front of a door. I quickly realized that this was in fact, Bucky's door. Curiosity got the better of me. Without thinking my hand grasped the cold metal of the door knob to find his door unlocked.

* * *

 **AN: Insert evil laugh here. Yay for cliff hangers! Stay tuned folks!**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: First of all, thanks again for the comments and follows! Y'all make me feel so special ;) It'll be a couple days till I can post again because I'll be on a road trip, so I made this chapter a smidge longer than the other ones. Things really start to pick up this chapter. There is a lot going on and I am a little nervous. Hopefully, y'all will enjoy it just as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

* * *

I peered my head in. I heard him make a horrible, pained noise which hurt my heart and I whispered, "Buck?"

Empathy is a huge problem for me. It's not that I am bad at being empathetic, quite the opposite actually. I am _too_ empathetic. This mostly has to do with my gift, but my mother used to call me tender heart, before my powers reared their ugly head. Hearing Bucky tugged at my heart strings and the desire to comfort and soothe overtook all rational thought.

His room was pitch black, darker than night. He made another noise and it comes to me that he must be having a nightmare. I run my hand through my hair and look back towards the living room. Stupidly, I try again, moving my body a little further into his room, the door clicking softly behind my back.

"Bucky, you okay?" I asked in concern a little louder.

The noise stopped abruptly. I stepped closer to what I thought was the bed. Without warning, a whoosh of air pushed past me and a strong metal hand wrapped around my throat lifting me off my feet against the wall. Panic poured into my body as I gasped for air. My hands wrapped around his metal arm, desperate to touch skin.

"Bu-ck" I tried to splutter out. My bare feet swung in the air trying to throw him of balance. As my eyes watered, my brain was flying in attempts to figure out in a span of seconds how to save my life. I suddenly realized that Bucky was shirtless. Normally, this would cause me to stop and take in the view, but I unfortunately didn't have time for that. I threw my bare foot up as high as I could pushing my hips against the wall for leverage. My big toe landed squarely in the center of his bare chest. Gasping for air, I gave him all of my panic. He squeezed harder. Not gonna work. I knew I only had seconds left before I passed out and with everything I could muster I thought of the happiest memory I could- one before my gift, before my parents died, one that was sacred to me. The happiness floated from my body into his brain. I suddenly hit the floor and took in big gulps of air. Tears prickled in my eyes and coughs spewing forth from my lips.

"No." came a harsh whisper above me. A tentative hand touched my clothed shoulder and out of instinct, I jerked away.

"Fuck." I heard Bucky say. After finally catching my breath I looked up, not seeing the winter soldier in front of me anymore.

I peered through the darkness to see him curled in the corner of the room on the ground. I crawled over to him.

"No. Stay away. I don't want to hurt you again," came his heart breaking plea. Determined or stupid, I moved my body forward until I was right in front of him.

"Bucky… Bucky look at me. Now." I placed my bare finger under his chin and pulled his face towards mine.

"It's okay. You didn't mean to. I shouldn't have come into your room. You.. you were having a nightmare and I was worried." His eyes pierced mine. I flowed peace and calm in his direction. He smacked my hand away.

"You shouldn't do that! I don't deserve peace," came his breaking voice.

"James! You do! What those men did to you was horrible. Absolutely horrible. I know that you would never purposefully hurt me. I know that, feel my emotions Buck- I don't blame you or hate you. Nothing!" I put my whole bare palm on his face. I sent him my emotions, trying to block out the deep, deep feeling of regret radiating from him.

Feeling my true emotions, clarity came to his eyes. Suddenly he picked me up and moved me towards his bed.

"Bucky?"

His cool, metal hand touched my neck, inspecting the damage, and I flinched. Even in the dark I could see his guilty look.

"I am fine. I swear it's… it's just a little tender." He bent over at the waist so that we were nose to nose. I could feel his breath ghost over my lips. I felt light headed, unsure if it was because of the choking situation or because of Bucky's close proximity.

"I am sorry," he whispered. I gave him a soft smile and moved my forehead to touch his.

"I know."

"I can't believe- I thought that you-" He muttered sitting next to me.

"Bucky, I really do understand. Let me- let me help." I lifted my hand towards him. He paused and then gave me a tiny nod. I touched my hand against his neck and a sigh escaped his lips. His body turned more towards me as I tried to soothe his heavy soul.

We sat like this for several minutes with both our eyes closed. Suddenly, Bucky's other hand clasped my face, his thumb brushing against my cheek. Flashes of something played at the edge of my mind. Little glimpses as if someone was flashing a camera, taking snapshots of something. Surprised by the touch and the weird flashes, my eyes flew open. Where those... _memories_?

"August," came his rough voice. I was scared to acknowledge his emotions and whatever the hell just happened with my powers. His hand moved to my hair grasping my thick tresses. A sense of de ja vu ran over me like a cooling rain on a hot day. His fingers slowly trailed towards my bruised neck.

"does that hurt?" he questioned softly. I shook my head no.

"I can tell your lying McKay." He moved closer resting his forehead against my cheek. On instinct, I wrapped my arms around him. He stiffened and paused. Suddenly, his big arms wrapped around me and he moved us farther up his bed. We ended up leaning against his head board, me in his lap. His hands laid harmlessly on my bare knee. We sat in silence listening to each other breath. The rhythmic inhale and exhale lulled us into peace until Bucky's voice suddenly spoke up.

"Are you… in just your panties?" He questioned with a hint of amusement in his tone. I giggled as the silence broke thinking about the other night in the kitchen.

"I am wearing a t-shirt and men's boxers… happy?"

"I don't know, I really liked that black little number you were wearing the other night." He stated as if he was talking about the weather.

If the lights had been on he would have seen that I lit up like Rudolph's nose on Christmas.

"Um… noted." I squeaked.

"You're nervous again." He observed. His body tensed,

"Well, it's not every night I am in the arms of a very attractive male," I joked.

"I am… I am really sorry about-"

"Stop apologizing. It's okay! I'm alive. Accidents happen." I brushed off the topic of my neck quickly.

Suddenly I felt warm breath on my neck and goose bumps broke out on my skin. God, the things this man could do to me.

"Thank you," came his muffled voice and ever so lightly his lips skimmed across my raw skin. A sigh fell from my lips. I could feel want projecting from the man who had me in his arms.

His lips pulled back and his bare hand rubbed up and down my arm soothingly. I almost groaned in disappointment, but I kept it together. A chuckle stumbled from his lips.

"Gus, we need to… behave ourselves…" I rolled my eyes and tilted my face up towards him he said with a light lilt in his voice.

"That's no fun, " I half joked. His arms came around me tighter and he closed his eyes. My heavy tired eyes started to flutter too. A yawn came over me.

I started to doze off. My adrenaline had drained from my body and exhaustion had taken its place. I felt warm and safe which was weird considering what had just happened. It was like somewhere deep in me I knew that I was safe with Bucky Barnes. I feel asleep while pondering why I felt this way.

I vaguely recall Bucky breathing in the scent of my hair and being lifted from his bed.

* * *

Sun peeked through the small rectangular window above my bed. I let out a disgruntled noise and flipped over on my stomach shoving my tye-dye pillow on top of my head.

Wait… my bed?

Last night's events flooded in my mind like a broken dam. I sat up swiftly accidently throwing my sleeping cat through the air and onto the floor.

"Holy hell! Sorry baby!" I got out bed and tried to get Cilantro to love me again. He wasn't having any of it. I sighed and walked into my bathroom to check out the damage.

Blue and purple fingerprints danced around my neck. I gingerly poked my neck and hissed. All at once I remembered the light press of Bucky's lips against my throat. I groaned. This was not how things were supposed to go. Bucky had me in a tizzy like some animal in heat. I knew that we needed to talk about what had happened with the nightmare thing last night, but I was scared that I would jump his bones. That wouldn't go over well.

I could just imagine me saying something like, "Bucky, it's fine. We need to focus on the fact that you could have killed me instantly if you had wanted. If anything, some part of you deep down, showed restraint and fought to gain control of yourself. Now can we fuck? Great. Thanks." And then I would throw myself on top of him and the rest would be a fucking disaster.

All of the sudden, a knock banged on the door. I jumped in response, squeaking.

"Gusssss! I'm back from my op. You awake sunshine?" came the voice of Agent Barton.

Of all people to see me the morning after being nearly strangled to death, this was probably the worst case scenario. Clint knows me better than anyone and over our time together, he had come to learn my tell when I lied.

"Uhh hold on! I am in the middle of getting dressed," I tried to sound casual as I rummaged through my closet. He banged on the door again.

"Sweet pea, you okay? You sound weird," came his voice. I knew that I had approximately twenty-five seconds until he bust through that door.

My hands started ripping my closet apart looking for- BINGO! High-necked black and white sleeveless shift dress! I started throwing the dress over my head and yelled,

"I'm fine, swear!" I didn't even get all the words out of my mouth when I heard the door fly open hitting the wall with a loud bang. I tugged the dress on right as Clint ran into my closet.

He looked at me as if inspecting a piece of art in a museum- with a critical eye and slight confusion. I prayed to God that the neck of the dress hid my neck effectively. I attempted to seem calm and confused by his abrupt entrance.

"See, Legolas? I was just getting dressed," I tried to sound nonchalant. He raised an eyebrow and stepped forward with an open hand. Shit. He was going to touch me. _Indifference. Indifference. Indifference._ I repeated over and over again as his big, rough hand wrapped around my left elbow and pulled me closer. After a second, he pulled away seemingly satisfied. I gave him a weak smile as I grabbed some flip flops.

"Pfft. I hate flip flops. Can't run away in them Gus," He commented moving out of my personal space leaning against the wall arms crossed still eyeing me warily.

"Well, hopefully no one attempts to chase me today since that is _such_ a common problem here at the headquarters of the freaking Avengers," I pointed out pushing past him and walking into the bathroom.

"Steve says you are improving," Barton ignored my dig.

"Steve is too nice," I said glancing into the mirror making sure that everything was covered up. I let out a small sigh and decided to take some advice that Clint had given me years ago.

 _Don't be go overboard when trying to hide something. Sometimes the most obvious thing, is the least noticeable._

So I pulled all my hair up and placed it in a high messy bun not being blatant about hiding my neck.

"You look cute cricket."

"Well thanks! How was the Op? Did you get to stop in and see the fam?" I inquired making some final touches to my hair.

"I did. Wifey says hello and that she hopes you are doing well. The op was okay, some unforeseen obstacles popped up, but it was handled."

"Unforeseen obstacles, huh? Those are the worst kind!" I laughed as I strolled out of the bathroom. Clint was now sitting on the edge of the bed petting Cilantro. I sighed and sat next to him.

"You're okay though right? Can't have my favorite body guard scuffed up," I elbowed him.

"Just a couple of bruises here and there. Nothing horrible."

We sat in comfortable silence until a thought skittered into my brain.

"Do you know what tomorrow is Clint?"

He turned and looked at me with a curious gaze waiting for me to answer my own question.

"I am supposed to walk at my graduation tomorrow. I thought I'd be okay with missin' it, but… I am actually kind of disappointed. I mean I worked hard to get my double major and Lord knows it was expensive. I just feel like I am missin' out… whatever. I'll be cavalier about it, I guess."

He slung his arm over my shoulder pulling me closer to him.

"I know that has gotta be rough. I think it's perfectly okay that you're upset. But you know, we don't know if someone else is out there trying to hurt you, Gus."

I knew he was right, but at the same time, I still had this ache over not being able to attend. Clint saw my forlorn look, stood and grabbed my hands pulling me to my feet.

"Buck up kid! Let's do something fun today. First, take those damn flip flops off," he ushered me into the closet.

A little later, I found myself standing in the garage looking at some car that Clint was freaking out about. Not being a car person myself, I pretended to be just as enthused. He mentioned that this red convertible of some sort belonged to some guy named Phil.

"We are just going to take it for a quick spin around the facility. It'll be fun!"

He hopped in, waiting for me rather impatiently.

"Does this _Phil_ know that we are taking his car for a spin?" I questioned as I opened the passenger door subconsciously rubbing my neck. The garage door suddenly opened making me jump a little.

"Um, no he does not, and he will not because snitches get stiches Gus. Now buckle your damn seat belt and let's see what this baby can do." I obeyed his orders and we zipped out of the garage.

This had been a tradition of ours back when I was younger. If I had had a really bad day, Clint would 'sneak' me out and we'd drive around listening to old rock music with the windows down cruising on old country roads. Little did I know at the time that we were actually heavily surveillanced and our sneaking had been approved.

As we made laps around the facility, laughter bubbled up from my belly as my messy bun started to come undone. My hair whispies hit me in the face, but not in an unpleasant radio was blasting and the sun shined down on us. Sweat droplets rolled down my neck, but it didn't matter to me.I felt like time stood still and the scenery was all that mattered. Clint was bobbing his head to the music and I started singing along extremely off-key. After about an hour of messing around, driving in loops and tearing up the grass with some off road maneuvers, Clint pulled the red car back into the garage.

"Next time we steal this car, let's see what that red button does!" I commented as the car screeched to a stop. Standing directly in front of the car were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, one looking decidedly disappointed and the other looking decidedly indifferent.

Steve's arms were crossed and he had a stern look on his face. My eyes flicked up towards Bucky who was leaning against the garage wall. He refused to meet my gaze and I frowned, concerned.

"August McKay, we were supposed to meet at the gym an hour ago. You stood me up so that you could steal Agent Coulson's car?" He sounded like a disappointed mother. I cringed realizing that I had completely blown him off.

"Calm down 'Merica. Gus here has been having a rough day and I wasn't going to let my girl be miserable,"Clint declared. Bucky's eyes flashed at me and I could tell he was jumping to conclusions. I immediately spoke up, "Tomorrow is my graduation day and I was bummed about not being able to attend. Clint was just trying to cheer me up. Sorry Steve. I completely forgot that we were meeting today."

"Well, I guess I can forgive you Gus, but the next time we train we are going to work double time." His stern look had softened. Clint and I got out of the car and I gave Steve a side hug agreeing to his terms.

"Cap, while I have you here I wanted to show you the new light mount on my cycle," Clint ushered Steve to the other side of the garage putting several large Humvees between us. As soon as they were out of site, Bucky, with a gloved hand pulled me towards him, pushing my back against the wall. My eyes darted in alert, but I stayed calm. The rough leather of his gloved hand pulled down the high turtle neck of my sleeveless dress. His fingers traced the bruises that were caused by his own hands. He, clearly upset by the marks, suddenly slammed his metal fist into the cement wall behind me causing me to jump and squeak loud enough to catch Steve's attention. He couldn't see us, but his voice echoed across the large garage.

"August, everything alright?" Bucky's blue eyes winced.

"Yeah, just tripped Steve. I'm all good. Y'all enjoy those motorcycles, Buck and I are going to head back."

The anger was still pouring off of Bucky, but he realized that he had frightened me and took a step back. I reached out and tucked my pointer finger between his glove so that I could touch skin. _Remorse. Shame. Rage._

I took in his feelings. They were so strong that I started to feel what he was feeling. Memories swirled at the surface throwing me off guard. I started to breathe quickly and tried to get control. My head felt dizzy as I pushed out those emotions and tried to focus on calm, acceptance, and reassurance. His metal arm gently latched onto my upper arm and pulled me closer.

"Buck. It's okay. There is no reason for you to be upset," I whispered. His skeptical look fought against the emotions I was sending him. His eyes shifted as he heard something I couldn't discern, probably Clint and Steve coming back our way. He tucked me against him and we walked quickly out of the garage. He led me with gentle arms back up to the main level through the living room and tried to usher me to my room. I pulled away and stated with a resolute tone,

"I need me a sweet tea."

Bucky sat me down on the barstool and retrieved a glass getting me some crushed ice and sweet tea. He placed it before me. He put both palms on the counter and waited patiently.

I fully admit that I was stalling. I needed to gather my feelings so I could help Bucky understand that I was okay and reassure him that I hadn't given up on him and neither should he. Plus, sweet tea is damn good.

I swallowed my last delicious gulp of the cold drink and stood from my chair chewing on some ice as I walked towards my room. Bucky, like I anticipated, followed quietly behind me. Opening the door, we were immediately greeted by my fluffy black and white cat. Scratching him under the chin, I sat on the bed. Bucky stayed standing on the opposite side of the room as if scared or weary to approach.

"Bucky, I know you are so angry at yourself. I reckon I would feel the same way if the situation was reversed, but I want you to know that I really am okay…. I just have a thought I wanna share with you. You were the Winter Soldier and you've…. You've killed people before… but um… but last night even when you thought you were being attacked or were stuck in your nightmare, you still had some inkling of control over yourself. You could have snapped my neck immediately. But you didn't. Somewhere deep inside of you, you had control. That's a success."

"You don't get to do that," he growled and started to pace.

"Get to do what?" I asked confused pulling a face.

"You don't get to write off the fact that I hurt you. I hurt you. It's not okay and you don't get to live in your happy little imagination that it's acceptable that this happened. This isn't a goddamn fairytale! Why the hell did you come in anyways?" His voice was rough and filled with lilts of anger.

 _Happy little imagination? Fairytale? Oh hell no._

"James Buchanan Barnes. If I hear another self-deprecating word outta you I swear I am fixin' to clock you in the face. And don't you dare patronize me! I can do whatever the hell I want. I was checking on you because I _care_. I am not living in some fantasy land where there are no problems. I've got my own problems, my life has been riddled with heart break, loss, disappointment, and guilt." My voice was getting dangerously quiet as I stepped right in front of him, "I used to be in your shoes. Everything I touched fucking broke. I know how that feels. To see someone you care for get hurt by your hands. Your very own hands! So when I tell you I am okay and that I have hope, you better listen because I am not fucking around." I was so close to him that I could feel his angry breath hit my face in quick bursts. He opened his mouth to speak, but I was still pissed so I kept talking.

"Yeah, Buck, you did hurt me, is that what you wanna hear?" I pulled down the neck of my dress dramatically, "But if you think for one hot minute that I am giving up on getting to know you and on helping you, then you are sure as hell wrong. So quit beating up on yourself or I'll have to start beating-" His lips came crashing into mine. My heart leapt into my throat and heat rose from my toes to the top of my head. His hand threaded through my hair and brought me closer. All of our pent up anger went into this hot and heavy kiss. I felt as if steam was seeping through my pours as I felt a slight nibble on my bottom lip. And just as quick as he had pressed his lips against mine, his lips were gone. I had never had such a searing closed mouth kiss in my short life. No other kiss mattered or stood up to what Bucky had just done to me. Our chemistry was undeniable, in one chaste kiss, I knew that I would never have enough of him.

My knees wobbled and his husky voice said quietly," You're lips taste like sweet tea."

I stood there in utter shock, face blushing, nervous to look up at him as I heard him pant lightly.

 _Well, it least it affected him too._

God, I wanted more. Unsure of what to do I awkwardly asked," What was that for?"

He chuckled. Actually chuckled and looked at me sheepishly while rubbing the back of his neck.

"I had to get you to shut the hell up, didn't I?" He gave me a smirk that went straight to my core. I had to sit down on the bed as I mustered a look between outrage and amusement. He strides forward, placing his finger under my chin and pulled my eyes to his.

"Thank you… for having hope." And then he was gone. Out the door with a blink of the eye. Part of me wondered if that had actually just happened.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:Hello my loves! Glad you guys enjoyed the last chapter. I loved reading y'alls comments. This chapter is a little shorter, but you get to see a glimpse into Bucky's point of view. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

I got zero things done the rest of the day after the kiss that Bucky had laid on me. I couldn't think straight. It felt… right. His lips had been surprisingly soft, but under the surface of the kiss was passion. Barely restrained, unadulterated passion. I had only known Bucky for almost three weeks. What the hell was I thinking? Did his passion come from… my feelings? My desire to be swept up in some romance? _Shit._ Now, I was overanalyzing the whole thing. For the fourth time, today.

I tried to distract myself by playing with Cilantro. My darling kitty had a weird talent for a cat- fetching. Cilantro loved to play fetch. I threw a little plush lamb stuffed animal across my room hitting the closet door with a thud which was surprisingly therapeutic. Cilantro would proudly strut back over to me with the lamb in his mouth and plop it on the bed next to me. As I prepared to hurl the stuffed animal again, a loud and prompt knock on my door sounded through my room. Curious, seeing as I was not expecting anyone, I padded towards the door and gingerly turned the knob.

Peering out the door, I saw… no one. I stepped farther out to find a white box with a white bow propped up against the wall. I reached down, turning the box this way and that way trying to find a name or tag. Shaking it like a kid on Christmas morning, I brought it into my room closing the door behind me with a soft click.

Gently pulling the bow off and opening the lid, I was greeted by something wrapped in white tissue paper. It crinkled as I pulled it out of the box. Underneath the tissue paper was the cutest white dress.

The dress had a simple lace overlay, a high neck and cap sleeves. It was one of those dress that would hug and hit all the right places. It was clean, classic, and completely my style. I loved it. I pulled it out of the box swinging it around. It spun with me and a white card fell out onto the floor. I picked it up and opened it. In writing that almost looked like calligraphy with sharp points and contrasting swirls, it simply said, "Be dressed and ready at 4 a.m."

There was no signature. I was legitimately confused. I looked back at the dress and it clicked suddenly. White dress. Mysterious letter. Tony Fucking Stark was busting me out for my graduation.

"Well hot damn."

* * *

I hardly slept which was becoming a trend here at the Avenger's Facility. At 3 a.m. I decided to go ahead and start getting ready.

I pulled my hair up to show off the dress, which thankfully covered my neck, put in some pearl earrings, applied a little make up and donned nude wedge heels. I wanted to keep it simple and let my natural beauty speak for itself. If people disapproved, they could get to steppin. It had taken me a long ass time to try and love myself. I was not going to let anyone put me down for not being conventional or wearing a tight dress when I am not stick thin. The beautiful part about beauty is that it is diverse.

The dress was a little short, but for the first time in pretty much ever, my legs looked long! Tony did an excellent job! It was very flattering. Who knew?

At 4, I quietly poked my head out the door. Not seeing anyone, I stepped into the hall. A hand flew over my mouth and I was pulled back. I elbowed my assailant in the gut and I heard a muffled groan. The hands immediately released me. Apparently that muscle memory thing was legit. I spun around to see Tony doubled over a little. He glared and grabbed my wrist making significant eye contact, sending me his emotions. I knew immediately to stay quiet and follow him.

We ended up in an area of the facility that I didn't even know existed. An airplane hanger and landing strip. A rather impressive jet was parked in the open hanger.

"This way my dear!" Tony's voice rang pulling me up the narrow stairs into the plane that screamed excess. There were plush tan leather chairs, a couple of flat screen TVs, a bar area that was filled to the brim with drinks that were probably older than my grandpa.

"Welcome aboard ma'am, what would you like to drink?" came the overly cheery voice of the stewardess. I realized my mouth was hanging open slightly as I took in the inside.

"Bring us a bottle of the champagne! We are going to celebrate. Now love, we have to discuss how today is going to go down. But first I want you to meet my secret weapon!" Tony ended with excitement. His hands extended pointing at the entrance way that separated the staff from the passengers. I waited but no one came out.

Tony huffed stomping his foot and loudly said in exasperation," I want you to meet my secret weapon!" There was a shuffling behind the curtain and a young man awkwardly shuffled out saying, "Ta-Da!"

I stood there blinking, arms crossed with a confused smile, "Your secret weapon is a… teenage boy?"

Said boy started to shift his weight and run his hands through his hair nervously.

"My name is Peter Parker ma'am. Wait am I supposed to tell her my actual name? Should I just tell people my superhero name?" He rambled looking to Tony sheepishly.

Sensing he was nervous and excited, I outstretched my hand.

"I can't touch you- I mean Tony told me that you have weird skin-" I gave Tony a look, "I-I mean not weird skin, sorry uuhh you have nice skin- I mean not nice skin, but I can't touch you, not that I don't want to touch you- I mean-" he got redder and redder as he rambled. I started laughing really hard when he basically admitted he wanted to touch me.

"Well bless your heart! It's okay. I understand. Now, why don't we sit down and get this party started. Then you can explain what makes you so qualified to be my secret weapon, hmm?" I tried putting him at ease.

As I sipped on my champagne and journeyed on to our destination, I listen carefully to Tony's game plan. Basically, I was to act like any other average student receiving my diploma. However, the security measures weren't exactly average. Firstly, Tony had been in correspondence with the cleared head of security as a basic necessity. Tony warned me that even though this man checked out didn't mean that everyone he staffed did as well. Peter was going to be going undercover as another student graduating. Unbeknownst to the school, Tony had hacked the system and created Peter's cover. In order to not create suspicion, he would be seated several seats after me alphabetically.

Tony would be scanning radio frequency, channels of communication, security tapes, all of the techie stuff until right after I walked. Every student, after shaking hands with almost a dozen people, would walk off stage, past the group of students still waiting on their diploma and into a tunnel like hallway. This hallway led straight back into the main room and then students were to sit back down in their designated seat.

"You won't be sitting back down, though. I'll be waiting at the other side and we can slip through the back door which will already be secured. Peter, will follow making sure no one tales us. The nice thing about this hallway is that only students are allowed to pass through, and there is only one entrance and one exit. So literally all you have to do is, graduate and be observant. Whatcha think?"

"What if something happens like during the actual ceremony?" I inquired my knee bounced as I started to become a little nervous. Peter was giving me a big smile, clearly excited to just be on a mission. Tony had explained his unique characteristics which made him an asset. I will admit, the kid is precious.

"That's not Hydra's style. They have to be incognito in order to survive. Big acts of terrorism or saying shooting up a graduation would be way too risky. Honestly, big crowded events are pretty safe considering! If at any point you don't feel like you can do this, let me know love. I just want your big day to be a reality." It was clear to see in this moment why so many people put up with Tony Stark. Behind all the pomp and fluff of his lifestyle, was a sweetheart who cared fiercely for the people he let into his inner circle.

"If you really think it'll be safe Tony, I want to go through with it," I took a deep sip finishing off my glass of champagne, the bubbles soothing my fears.

Tony clapped his hands together and declared, "In that case I've got something special for you!"

The stewardess brought in two boxes, one big and one tiny. Opening the big box, I found my graduation gown and my cap. I squealed in excitement seeing my school's crest. Peter got a similar box and he laughed joking, "I've worked so hard for this! My first degree!"

Tony sat there with his fingers together under his chin waiting on me to open the next box. I hurriedly pulled of the tiny lid finding a simple, beautiful necklace. It was on a long silver chain, a teardrop pendant with my birthstone hanging from the end. My eyes actually teared up a bit; I had never been a big jewelry fan, but to think that someone would be so thoughtful really touched my heart.

"Something to go with your dress. It fits you like a glove, by the way."

I stood and threw my arms around his neck. He tensed a little at first thrown off by my sign of affection, but then wrapped his arms around me.

Puling away he said in a hushed voice, "Pepper helped me pick it out. I've been.. I've been trying to keep the lines of communication open with her. Things have been better since we talked."

"That's great Tony! Thank you so much for everything! Who knew you could be such a sweetheart?"

The stewardess then asked us to buckle our seatbelts as we were about to start our descent. I felt so full of emotions churning inside of me. A little bit of nerves, but mainly joy and excitement. But as I sat there waiting for the plane to land, my thoughts slowly shifted back to the blue eyed man that I so badly wanted to help.

* * *

My fists slammed repeatedly into the punching bag over and over, each one releasing pent up rage, tension, confusion. Sweat had started to drip into my line of sight, but at the moment I didn't care. All I could think about were those soft lips that tasted of sweet tea and those freckles that danced in intricate patterns across high porcelain cheek bones.

My mind was conflicted; decidedly split. I knew that I shouldn't be getting too close to her. Steve had reminded me that although August could help, she also didn't know certain things about my past yet. Certain things that she wouldn't be so forgiving about. Certain things that could ruin my chances at any kind of future with the sweet southern girl.

Grunting as I continued to beat the mess out of my imaginary foe, I thought about my stupidity the other night. If I didn't get a grip on myself, I could do a lot more than choke the poor girl. I never wanted to see that look of fear in her eyes again. The sheer desperation to get free from my hands. I had seen that look before. It made bile roll in my stomach and my head ache with pain, memories flashing. I only wanted to see light and happiness in those dark brown eyes of hers.

Anger wasn't so bad, either. When she had stood up, fists curled, mouth hurling an argument, I knew in that moment that I was going to kiss her. It was inevitable. Seeing August in that slip of a dress, color rising to her cheeks, eyes blazing, as she said she cared, it was a miracle that I didn't chuck her on the bed and have my way with her.

Pulling away from the punching bag, panting heavily, I decided to go check on her. This was something I did often. A bad habit that would probably creep her out. I found myself time and time again outside her door, peeking in with all of the stealth that I possessed making sure that she was safe.

Steve had caught me once. I tried to come up with a good excuse and pull off indifference at the same time, but he knew. He always knew. Steve didn't lecture me or say I was paranoid, he just said it was normal. Normal to check on someone I was so connected with, some one I cared about. The problem was and is that August McKay does not know that we are connected. Doesn't remember.

Wiping the sweat of my face with a towel, I made my way to her door. I listened, taking in any signs of distress. Hearing absolutely nothing, my eyebrow quirked. Ever so quietly, I opened the door. My eyes swept the room. My body was moving before my brain had time to process.

August McKay was gone. A note was laid out on her bed next to her sleeping cat. In thin cursive script it said, "Gone to graduate."

"Well fuck."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'm loving the feedback as always! I know the last chapter was not as action packed; however, hold onto your britches folks, this one is filled to the brim with action. This is the product of a teacher on summer break, drinking adult beverages, trying to kill time while all her friends are working. So needless to say, it's crazy and intense. You've been warned. Enjoy my loves! (little baby spoilers for Civil War)**

* * *

We made it to the graduation site with no hiccups. I had a good feeling about the plan. Tony was brimming with confidence and although Peter was a little green to this whole super hero thing, I was assured that he was top notch. Tony noted with a tone of pride that Peter had taken down Sam and Bucky at the same time. I was definitely impressed. I had let my hair down so that I could put on my cap. The tassel was honestly kind of annoying. It refused to stay put and kept tickling my face.

As we approached the area were hundreds of us soon to be college grads, we were told to line up, Tony received a call seemingly through his communicator.

"Well hey there Link! Yep. I got our little southern belle here with me….. Calm down arrowhead. I've got it taken care of… yeah I can sense that you are a little angry…We aren't coming home Barton. McKay is aware of the dangers, I have back up and plus a promise is a promise…. We'll be fine. See you soon."

"So I'm taking it that Clint is not too happy about you kidnapping me?"

"Yeah he is bringing Stars n' stripes and the metal assassin. Just in case," He gave me a pointed look spitting out metal assassin with spite.

I linked arms with Peter and reassured both of them, "I'm not worried, I've got the best back up a girl could ask for! Now, Peter-err- Jeff, let's go get in line. Tony, see you with my diploma in hand!" I pulled Jeff, Peter's cover name, and we found our perspective lines. All of the students were excitedly chirping to each other. A tinge of sadness struck me in that moment.

I was in a sea of people that I didn't really know. Although I had spent four years at this institution, I had kept my distance for the most part. I was worried to make true friends, worried that I would reveal myself, worried that I would have to up and move again. Which as it turns out, I was correct about. I did see some faces that I recognized, seeing as the people lined up with me had the same major. I waved at a couple of girls that had been at the same school for student teaching. Student teaching could really bad people, whether you want it to or not.

And suddenly the sea of unfamiliarity parted, and a handsome man I knew walked towards me with a confused, but happy face.

"Chadwick?" I squeaked, surprised. I had completely forgotten about him. He beamed a bright smile at me and gave me a hug. I quickly realized that I had no idea what story he had been told about the night we officially met.

"I am glad to see you! I was worried about you. The cops told me that your family got in bad with some loan sharks. I didn't think I'd ever see you again."

My brain was trying to catch up with the lie he had been told. Plus, I forgot how handsome he was and boy did he smell good. _Not as good as Bucky_.

As I opened my mouth to say something, I was thankfully interrupted by an announcement telling us it was time. I gave him a big smile, "I'll explain later! It was good seein' ya!"

Peter and I then made significant eye contact and he gave me a knowing glance. Damn, he is pretty perceptive for a kid. The line started to move as butterflies floated in my stomach. We sat down in rows of about 20 and the Dean started off the speeches. Our keynote speaker, someone I had never heard of gave a quick speech about progress, change, innovation, and then it was time. Names started to be called out as if a pastor was reading from the book of Exodus. I saw Chadwick walk across stage giving several people a firm handshake. I looked around trying to be vigilant just in case Tony was wrong about big crowds. My row stood abruptly and I took a deep breath. Moment of truth. The line was moving quicker than I expected but I guess state universities tended to have the art of graduation down to a tee.

"August Magnolia McKay." I cringed when my middle name rang out. My mama had really loved Magnolia trees. She always talked about how easy they were to climb, that the flowers smelt good, but were subtle, and how if you throw a Magnolia leaf in the fire it sounds like a gunshot. All of that said, I am not sure what that was supposed to say about me.

I walked steadily, beaming, trying not think about how my parents weren't there, and started shaking hands. Skin to skin. Every time I shook a hand, they beamed right back at me. I felt like I was watching a toothpaste commercial. At the end of the line, I was given my diploma which I clutched like a precious gift. I made my way off the stage towards the back. _Almost in the clear._

I entered the hallway which was dingy and poorly lit. _Well this is creepy._ I scanned my eyes, seeing students still in line, walking down the hall. Nothing out of the- Chadwick was leaning against what looked like a janitor's closet with a smile on his face arms spread wide. I was surprised that he had waited for me.. we didn't know each other that well, but I figured I owed him an explanation.

"We did it!" He exclaimed wrapping his arms around me. Thankfully my skin was covered by my gown.

All of the sudden, Chadwick opened the door to the closet pulling me. I was still wrapped up in his arms and his lips were close to mine. Blue eyes flashed in my mind. I reared back, realizing that maybe I had sent out the wrong signals.

"Chadwick, I'm not that kind of girl. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression." I tried untangling myself from him but his grip was tight.

He pushed me against the wall and said, "No darling, you are exactly the kind of girl I am looking for. And that Hydra's looking for." As his words sunk in, dread and panic filled my body like someone filling up a cup with a cold drink. I went to scream, but his now gloved hand came up.

"No ma'am. Keep quiet. We have to hustle. But first I want to show you something that I think will inspire you to comply.' His hot breath hit my face. I cringed in disgust. I was in shock. Any minute, Tony would realize something is wrong. Peter will beat me to the exit. Surely, they would save me.

My thoughts of being rescued where dashed as he pulled out a phone and showed me a video that had been taken literally two minutes ago. I could see the barrel of a sniper rifle and in the far distance was the stage in which students were shaking hands with the deans and President of the university.

"Now what you see here is a Hydra sniper targeting your fellow students. You make one wrong move sweetheart and one of them is going to die. And it'll be all your fault. Now before Iron Man shows up and adds an extra complication, we need to make our escape.' He looked up at the end of his sentence, while taking of his cap and gown. I followed his gaze seeing an air duct.

"Take your cap and gown off sweetie and I'll hike you up there," he said with a stern voice.

"What?" I asked still in shock. He ripped my cap off in impatience. He tried to unzip my gown and I shoved his gloved hands away. Bile was rising in my throat.

'Tsk. Tsk. Do I need to let my sniper know that you are not behaving?" I shook my head no and unzipped my own gown. He reached up and removed the metal cover and then put his weaved hands out. I put my wedge heel into his hands and he pulled me up. I started to crawl, cussing the whole way. Thankfully it wasn't super tight, there was room to maneuver. Chadwick crawled in behind me.

"You're heavier than you look. Now go forward until I tell you to turn."

I growled at him, wishing I could scream and kick. But I wouldn't be responsible for people dying.

We continued crawling; I stalled a couple of times feigning scared about a couple of cobwebs.

"Keep going. And if I hear you complain one more time, I swear I'll hit you." A promise rang in his voice.

"I just- I just don't understand! You didn't attack me that night outside the bar. This doesn't make any fucking sense. How could you be Hydra?"

"Well, love, it was a two man team that night. I was the point man, but when you snuck out the back door, plans changed. My partner and I purposefully corned you on the sidewalk, but in a stroke of genius, I decided not to blow my cover and my partner went with it. Brilliant, right?"

I literally growled at the guy, wishing that there was bare skin I could touch. But other than his face, he was completely covered.

"I was surprised that you got away from him. You're lucky that your friends showed up when they did. Thankfully, we hoped that you would be dumb enough to show today. I knew you wouldn't suspect me, seeing as I tried to save you that night. And I'll say it has been worth it, watching you crawl in that tight dress. If only I could see up-" I lost it. My heel lunged back in a donkey kick, nailing the son of a bitch in the nose. He moaned in pain. In a flash of the eye, he had yanked me by the ankle underneath him. His body was fully on top of mine. I struggled, but there wasn't a lot of room. He was using our intimate position to freak me out, to intimidate me… and it was working.

"Get the hell of me!" I yelled. His hands came up around my throat. Already bruised there, I let out a hiss of pain.

"I will fucking kill somebody. I swear to you. If you do one more thing that even bothers me, I swear someone will die." His body was off of me and he barked at me to keep going.

Finally, we crawled out of the air duct and ended up in some meeting space. Grasping my wrist harshly, he dragged me into a new hall and out a back door.

Sun light blinded me. It was comparable to when you go to see a movie and then you walk out and think you'll never see again. A black SUV pulled up and Chadwick tossed me in like a rag doll.

"Go." He demanded. The car engine revved and we were off.

There was a man sitting in the front next to driver and one on the other side of the passenger seat. The second guy, closest to me, looked familiar. Half of his face was marred. He looked like he could've been handsome at one point, but his mouth was curled in an evil smile.

"Long time no see August." Hearing his voice triggered something in me. Some long lost memory.

 _Water dripping. Marble floors. Light that was tinged green. Make shift hospital bed. Pain. Blood dripping into a medical bag. Blue eyes. Loneliness. Fear. Harsh yelling. And that evil smile._

I shook my now pale face. Fear running in my blood, thick and tangible.

"Oh wait, that's right, you don't remember do you? We did a good job of zapping that right of you." I shivered trying to move away from this man only to be stopped by Chadwick. If that was even his name.

"Aw, come back honey. I brought you a gift. Something that will make this easier for all of us," He pulled out a strait jacket. My eyes widened. His gloved hands grabbed mine pulling me closer to him. Chadwick came up behind me, moving my arms. I gritted my teeth, struggling, heart racing.

"Get your goddamn hands off of me!" I yelled out. One of my arms was through a sleeve.

I head butted the man in front of me. His head snapped back; he clearly wasn't expecting it. A pained look, then anger, probably a mix of his anger and my anger that had transferred to him. He head-butted me right back. My head rattled and I whimpered in pain. My other arm was jerked into the last sleeve. The unnamed man from my past slowly roved his hands over my body, touching me in places he had no right to touch. I screamed in his ear, trying to bite him. He punched me in the jaw. Black specs entered my vision. My head hurt and I was disoriented. He and Chadwick together locked my arms in place.

"Mm, you've filled out honey. But that spitfire is still there." I spat blood in his face and he just laughed. This guy was really starting to piss me off.

I started to wiggle and free myself but I remembered something Steve had said during our training. _When you are in a position in which you can't move, don't waste energy. Pretend to comply. Then look for weaknesses._

I took a big, dizzy breath and stopped moving.

I looked around the car. Being… armless definitely made things more complicated. My shoes could be used as a weapon which was evident by Chadwick's swollen nose. The man with the scarred face had a visible gun, probably more that I couldn't see. He was currently talking to the driver, giving terse directions. Chadwick had just dialed someone on the phone, probably the sniper. I saw a flash of gold and red speed by the window. I blinked shaking my head, hoping to God that I hadn't made it up.

A loud thud echoed on the roof of the car jarring all of us. Guns came out of holsters. A repetition of bangs, as if someone was pounding into the roof, sounded. Chadwick rolled the window down, leaned the majority of his body out of the window, shooting off his gun several times. I winced hoping that he had missed.

He leaned farther out the window and I was struck with an idea. _Is this something that I could really do to a person?_ Remembering his comments, his hands on me, his threats, I confirmed that I could and I fucking would. The scarred man was preoccupied yelling orders at the driver. I laid my body down across the seats. My head practically in his lap, I pulled both my legs back to my chest. Before I could follow through with my plan, I made eye contact with the scarred man. His eyes widened realizing my plan, but it was too late.

With everything that I had, I kicked both legs like a spring hitting Chadwick square in the ass. His upper body toppled over and he was hanging over the ledge of the window, screaming. I reared back to kick him again, but the dickhead next to me grabbed my hair and pulled hard. I turned my head and sunk my teeth into the flesh of his thigh as hard as I could, kicking my legs at the same time. I didn't see what had happened to Chadwick, being busy trying to inflict as much damage on the hair puller as possible, but I heard his loud scream. I could taste blood in my mouth. Dickhead was yelling and basically pistol whipped me onto the floor of the car. If I didn't have a concussion, it would be a miracle. I saw some weird white looking stuff was covering the windshield.

After swerving, the car suddenly screeched to a stop. I could hear gunshots and yelling. I squirmed as if I was trying to do the dance move the worm. I couldn't sit up seeing as my arms were literally tied up. This was hard! I finally managed to sit up and throw my body back onto the back seat. Dickhead was gone and his door was open.

A red masked face popped in. Being filled with adrenalin and still dizzy, I screamed kicking out. My feet were caught and a tentative voice said, "August, it's me. Spider- Peter!"

"I have never been so excited to see a masked man! Get me the hell out of this thing."

I scooted so my back was to him. His hands started to loosen the first one, when I heard an oomph. I looked over my shoulder seeing an empty space. The door was slammed.

I cursed an ungodly amount of things, groaning in pain and frustration. I needed to reevaluate my plan, but I couldn't see anything. The only door not covered in… spider webs? Yeah, fucking spider webs, was the right front seat door. I placed my legs over the center console and scooted forward until my feet were dangling over the seat cushion of my targeted seat. If this wasn't such a serious situation, this would be pretty comical. Armless, short girl trying to stretch her body out so that she could get to the front seat, dress practically up to her hips. _Well, at least I wore cute underwear._ I tried to tuck my feet under anything that would give me leverage. After catching something, I tried pulling myself up.

"God, this is why I need to actually do ab exercises. Shit!"

I finally pulled myself up. I looked out the window. Light caught my eye as the sun flashed against metal. A metal arm. Bucky!

Joy filled me. He was kicking some guy's ass. His body moved and flowed, dodging and punching, kicking and flipping. It was like watching ballet, but in fast motion with bullets and blood flying. So maybe not a ballet.

He spun and kicked the guy in the chest and turned to look at the door. Our eyes caught each other and time stopped. Abruptly he was thrown against the window by someone, hitting his head. Undeterred he turned from me and continued to fight. I had to get out of this car.

Obviously, I couldn't just open the door, so I leaned over and tried to grab the handle with my mouth. The door clicked open. I sat up and kneed the door open. Bucky, who was still in the middle of the fight, kicked my door closed.

"What the hell?" I yelled. I reached down with my mouth and opened the door again. He had the guy in what was called a rear naked choke hold. _I wish he was bare naked_. Before I could move my body out of the car, Bucky slammed the man into the door closing it again.

'Stay in the damn car!" He shouted in annoyance. Confused, I stared at him with an open mouth. I leaned down to open the door again. The man was slammed against the window again.

"Stay. In. The. Car." He growled as he spun the man away from him snapping his neck. I grimaced. He turned back towards me breathing heavily.

"It's safer in there!" He yelled in explanation. Without warning something landed on the hood of the car, and for the first time in my short knowing of Bucky I saw panic enter his eyes. He ran towards the door.

"Get out of the fucking car!" He threw the door open with his metal arm, literally ripping it off of its hinges. His threw me over his shoulder and started to run away from the car.

The car exploded throwing Bucky and myself as we caught the edge of it. We skidded across the asphalt and rolled to a stop. My ears were rigging and all I could feel was pain. I could hear my name although it sounded like someone was speaking to me through a pillow. As my sense stabilized, I felt the ground beneath me move and suddenly I was standing on weak legs. The ground had actually been Bucky who had purposefully put his body in front of mine as another man charged towards him.

I realized that there must have been another car of Hydra operatives because the numbers weren't adding up. We were on an overpass, over a river. I saw Steve rescuing bystanders, Tony flying over head chasing someone, Peter literally swinging around wrangling up bad guys, and Clint fighting off the marred man from earlier.

In the light of day, I could see that my used to be capturer had some kind of metal chest plate with a white ex. Bucky yelled duck while I was off in lala land, but thankfully he pushed my head down as the guy swung. He ushered me back behind him hitting the guy with a series of punches.

I looked back over seeing Clint standing and Mr. Dickhead on the ground. Something glinted in the sun light next to his hand. It was a gun. My stomach dropped and my eyes zeroed in. Not Clint. Clint had a family. Clint had saved me countless times. As the man reached for the gun, I took off in a dead sprint. My brain wasn't thinking. I just knew that I had to save Clint.

I'm sure I looked ridiculous as I screamed Clint's name, running in a goddamn strait jacket in wedge heels and a dress that had hiked up way too far, but in the moment I could care less.

The gun was in his hands now and Clint was weaponless. He moved to try and get behind a car for cover. But I knew it would be too late. The gun went off with a bang as I full body tackled Clint knocking us both off the side of the overpass.

It was all wind, pain, and screaming as we both fell towards the river. It was like I was falling in slow motion. I could see the water getting closer. Right before the both of us hit the water, I felt are hard tug on my ankle flinging me off course and a loud voice yell, "Shit!"

I hit the water and it was surprisingly cold. My lungs tried to shrink and crawl up my throat. I started kicking my legs, trying to get to the surface. No arms. I had forgotten that when I threw Clint and I off a bridge. There was an unidentifiable pain in my side. My tired body wasn't getting me to air fast enough. A horrible thought skittered across my brain. _I am going to drown._ _On my fucking graduation day!_

My eyes were closed and I kept trying to kick. Desperate for air, my brain was overridden by my body and I tried to take a breath. Swallowing water, I gave up kicking. The moment I gave up, a hand grabbed the neck of my strait jacket pulling me towards the surface. Darkness overtook me. It was too late.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I'm glad you guys were pleased by the last chapter. For this chapter, I tried to remain as realistic as possible concerning everyone's reactions towards the graduation incident. I think y'all will enjoy it! Let me know what you think!**

* * *

The first thing I was aware of was a buzzing noise. Then pain. Lots of pain. The air smelled stale and the room felt damp with moisture. My eyes blinked open. The room was barely lit and my head was spinning like dirty clothes in a wash cycle. I felt like something was…off. I took a look at myself gingerly. The only thing I was hooked up to was a blood bag.

My throat constricted in fear and shock. I felt like I had hit the water under the bridge all over again. I ripped the needle from my arms and staunched the flow of blood with my hand. The smell of iron and metallic hit my nose and I felt queasy. I heard yelling from right outside the room that echoed around me. Standing, with barely any balance, I realized I was wearing a really old t-shirt that I could've sworn that I had donated years ago and faded jeans.

"What the hell?" I whispered to myself. My voice didn't sound right.

The door flew open with a bang and none other than Bucky Barnes was standing there with his metal arm extended towards me. His eyes were darting and he reminded me of a skittish cat, claws extended.

"Come. Now." His voice was cold and determined. I could hear yelling down the hallway.

"Soldier?" I squeaked. _Solider? I've never called him that._

His metal hand grasped my wrist and tugged me towards him.

"We have to go. I'm getting you out of here." He looked both ways down the hall, deemed it safe and pulled me behind him. I felt sick due to my blood loss. Fear rippled up my body as I heard something coming towards us. He snatched me up in his arms running at a full sprint. I clung to his shirt, desperate to understand what was going on.

He kicked open a door, turned into a room that seemed familiar. Like I had been there before.

"Almost there." He grunted. We came to a giant metal door that had a key code. He placed me down on the ground and punched in a series of numbers. I still clung to him, realizing somehow in this moment that he was my only hope. The door clicked open and he reached for it.

"Where do you think you two are going?" a chilling voice came from behind us. My body started to shake, knowing we were caught. Bucky and I turned to see who had found us; he pushed me behind him. Blood rolled slowly down my arm, but I was zeroed in, frozen in fear.

There was a large group of men standing behind someone with a creepy smile. _Rumlow_.

* * *

I awoke with a gasping breath air heaving in and out of my lungs at lightening speed. I could taste my fear. My head shook from right to left surveying my room searching for danger. It was a clean, respectable hospital room. Looking down at my arms, I saw an I.V. and several monitors hooked up to me, but no blood bag. Relief seeped into my body like tea leaves in water, warm and thick.

"It was a dream. It was a dream. You're okay." My unused voice croaked out to myself in reassurance. But my brain was still reeling. It had seemed… it had seemed so real. And how did I know that man's, the same man from the car, name. Was that even his name? A weird feeling of certainty settled in my gut. I felt as if that was his name. How did I-

My streaming brain lurched to a stop at the sound of yelling. Lots of yelling. A memory of my dream flashed in my head and I ripped myself out of the bed, hospital gown hitting several inches below my knee. There was a large window in the room, showing the hall way, but I couldn't quite see who was yelling. Moving forward, I was immediately pulled back, a groan of pain tumbled from my lips. I was still hooked up to everything. Removing the heart monitor, and grabbing the I.V. stand, I rolled it and myself closer to the window. I was greeted by a sight that made me giggle and cringe all at once.

Tony Stark was being manhandled by none other than Natasha Romanoff. She had grabbed him by the ear and pulled him down to her height. She was angrily whispering in his ear. By the cold dark look in her eyes, she was threatening him. Squinting my eyes, I realized that her other hand was lower down squeezing Tony's…. um Iron Man. _Oh, Jesus._

Barton was practically running in circles around the two of them yelling at the top of his voice. He was spittin' angry and although I couldn't make out every word, several words and phrases were distinguishable in the commotion. "FUCKING IDIOT... HOW STUPID… I WILL SHOOT AN ARROW SO FAR UP YOUR ASS…. SHE COULD'VE DIED YOU EGOTISTICAL JACKASS… I NEVER WANT TO HEAR THE WORD GRADU-FUCKING-ATION AGAIN…. WHERE IS MY BOW?"

Steve was attempting to take control of the situation and calm people down. He looked almost like a pastor preaching to his congregation, or a mother scolding her children for fighting with each other, which was ironic considering the story Peter had told me. Steve kept trying to get to Natasha and Tony, but Clint would throw his hands out in exasperation, hitting him every time he tried to approach, as if swatting away an annoying fly.

Peter Parker was standing about ten feet away from the whole thing with his phone out taping the entire thing. I could hear his nervous laughter seeing as he was the closest to the window.

Feeling like I was being watched, my eyes shifted. Behind all of the chaos, blue eyes locked onto mine. Dread filled my body. Bucky was leaning against the wall of the hallway, arms crossed, frowning. The look on his face immediately revealed to me that he was not very happy with me. Abruptly, he pushed himself off the wall and moved towards me swiftly, eyes never leaving mine.

I quickly stepped backwards away from the window. Dizziness due to my quick movement overcame me. My hands flew to my face and my legs buckled. The door swung open right as I crumpled to the ground, my I.V. Stand collapsing with me.

My body was lifted from the ground and Bucky laid me gently on my bed, fixing my I.V. He hooked my back up to the heart monitor as I groaned in pain.

"You a doctor or somethin'?" I tried joking, but immediately regretted it when I saw the look in his eyes. He looked relieved and upset all at once.

His bare hand tucked loose hair behind my ear. He looked over his shoulder, seeing the others approach and said in a stern, scary sounding voice, "If you ever do anything so stupid again, I will not be responsible for my actions."

My eyes lurched towards his, hearing the truth in his words. His lip quirked upwards and his soft warm lips brushed against the top of my head.

The door flung open as everyone flooded in, Bucky already on the other side of the room. I bit my lip as I took in everyone's faces. No one spoke for a solid minute. Oh, this was going to be brutal.

Clint cleared his throat and began quietly, "So at what point did you think that leaving the protection of the Avenger facility, in the middle of the goddamn morning, with only two people as your back up, to a public place when Hydra has been looking for you, was a _good idea_? Huh? Was it when you got tricked and kidnapped? How about when they put a strait jacket on you? When they threatened to shoot innocent students? Or maybe when you took a fucking bullet for me and pushed us off a goddamn bridge? I bet it was when you basically drowned, right? When did you think it was a good idea _August_?" By the end he was almost yelling.

I felt like I had been kicked in the chest. That someone was squeezing my heart like a dirty sponge.

"I- I didn't think-" my voice was shaking. In that moment it was extremely apparent that I hadn't really considered the cost of what we had done.

"No, you didn't think," came Natasha's clear, steady voice.

I felt like shame was what was dripping through my I.V. I looked down at my bruised and scratched hands. I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. They were right. I was so focused on getting to experience this right of passage that I didn't really consider the impact or consequences it would have on others.

"I just thought- I just thought for the first time in a long time that I could…. I could be _normal._ That I could be happy like anyone else my age and experience something _real_ …. It was selfish of me." I was trying to keep it together. They all looked at me with looks of something akin to pity. I physically recoiled, trying to literally shrink and fade away.

"You weren't being selfish, love." Tony spoke looking at me with a small smile.

"No. Tony, you no longer get an opinion. Not in anything. No brain equals no voice. This was literally one of the most idiotic things you have ever done, you arrogant jackass." Clint had turned towards Tony and was pushing him back repeatedly. Tony's hands flew up, opened wide towards Clint in submission.

"Okay, maybe it wasn't my brightest plan, maybe I was a little too arrogant in my abilities, but at least we caught several members of Hydra, including Rumlow." At the mention of his name, I shuddered. Bucky's eyes were dead centered on me. I swallowed, my mouth dry.

"So you are saying that all of us risking our lives and August literally almost dying was worth it? All for what? A silly little paper and a cap and gown? And Rumlow?"

Steve stepped between Tony and Barton.

"Look, what's done is done. There is nothing that we can do to change what has happened. Although, what they did was ridiculously naïve and reckless, we came out of it relevantly unscathed. We can either stay here and continue to scold Tony and August for something they clearly realize was a huge mistake or we can calm down and give everyone time to heal and forgive."

Clint glared in my direction, "I vote for stay and scold."

Natasha grabbed him by the forearm and squeezed. He looked at her and then heaved a big sigh, begrudgingly conceding.

"Come on Barton," she pulled him towards the door throwing me a wink and a half smile. Before he was gone looked me dead in the eye and said, "We aren't done talking about this cricket."

Bucky had turned away from all of us and was looking out the window. Steve ran his hand through his hair, shoulders tight with tension, and Peter looked around kind of like a lost puppy, unsure what to do.

"Tony, for all it's worth, I don't blame you. We were... I know that you were trying to do something special for me and I'll never forget that."

He came over and ruffled my hair," I'm glad you're okay kid. You had me worried. But next time, give me a heads up when you're going to try and fly." He then turned towards Steve and said, "Come on Dudley Do-Right, let's see what food we can scrounge up. Gotta refuel before I get bitched out again." They both left the room.

Peter grabbed the chair he was sitting in and drug it across the floor with a loud obnoxious screech. I cringed, my head still pounding. He gave me a sheepish look and sat right next to me.

"Peter, thanks for having my back. You looked pretty badass in your get-up darlin'." He grinned real wide and moved to edge of his seat. He was practically gushing.

"Thanks! It _was_ pretty badass. I was like over here and then over there and seeing everyone fight again was thrilling. I'm just glad we were on the same side this time," He took a big breath and continued to ramble, " I mean I was really worried when I made it through that hall and you weren't with Tony. But thankfully that necklace he gave you gives out a hidden wireless signal. It's pretty much untraceable." My eyes widened with realization. He continued, "By the time we realized exactly where you were, Hawkeye, Cap and Bucky were ten minutes from town. God it was so awesome! I mean it wasn't awesome that you got kidnapped- I just meant that uh- well, I can't believe you took a bullet for Hawkeye and threw yourself off a bridge with your arms literally tied! I mean who does that?" One short laugh fell from Bucky's lips. He still wasn't looking at us though.

"Well, to be quite honest, I kinda didn't think it through. I just did it," I remembered something suddenly, " Peter, when I was falling I felt something grab my ankle-" He cut me off in excitement.

"Oh yeah! That was Mr. Stark! He was trying to grab you before you hit the water. He snagged your ankle, but he couldn't hold on. You went flying the other way and we were all like 'oh no!' and then he," motioning towards Bucky, "jumped off the bridge diving into save you and we were like 'Yeah!' but then you weren't breathing so, he started doing that CPR thing and you were alive!" I couldn't help but smile at Peter. His youth was refreshing. Plus, it was nice not to be yelled at.

He opened his mouth to continue, but like a hand touching the hot eye of a stove top, pain suddenly flashed in my body. "Ugh, fuck," I winced breathing rapidly. Bucky immediately turned towards us.

"Go get the nurse." Peter hearing the seriousness in his voice, darted out of the room.

My eyes had shut as pain took over my body. His bare, warm hand grasped my chin. I tried to hold back my power. My teeth were gritting and my face scrunched up. I wasn't a super hero; I wasn't used to getting the hell beaten out of me or taking a bullet. This really hurt.

"Give me your pain." He whispered in my ear, his warm breath anchoring me for a moment.

Now pain can be either physical or psychological. Both types trigger some of the same parts of the brain which means that even physical pain has its roots in emotion. Both types are controlled by hormones and excretions, nerves and synapses, all which are instructed by the brain.

Taking down the mental barriers in my mind that kept my powers somewhat at bay, I let my feelings of pain flow into Bucky. Other than a slight grimace, he seemed purposefully un-phased. I immediately felt better. I still hurt, but it wasn't as biting and sharp as before.

The nurse bust in followed by Peter who was speaking wildly, "I think she needs more morphine! Are you sure that the bullet went clean through? Maybe it hit something or maybe there is shrapnel-"He continued to list off all that could be wrong with me. The nurse ignored him. I felt a twinge of unease as I watched her work. I wasn't the biggest fan of hospitals, doctors, or nurses. Bucky pulled my face towards his again.

"There, sweetheart that should be better," came the high pitched voice of the nurse; I didn't hear her because I was swimming in blue. His eyes didn't leave mine as I drifted off into darkness again.

* * *

I had been sitting near her bedside for several hours. I couldn't look at her. Seeing her battered and bruised awoke something frightening in me. Instead of focusing on what I wanted to do to those who had hurt her, I had entertained myself by watching Clint dish it out every time he ran into Tony. It had gotten to the point that every time Tony started to speak Clint would interrupt saying, "Nope. You don't get to speak."

At one point, while Tony was carrying a tray of food to give to August when she woke up, he had tried to argue back.

"Alright, settle down arrowhead. I get it. I fucked up. But-" Clint gingerly picked up a plate of mashed potatoes and promptly slammed it into Tony's face. Clint stormed away and Tony swiped off some of with a finger and tasted it.

"Not to bad for hospital food," he muttered leaving himself.

I sighed pulling out my side arm. I started braking down the gun as images of August laying on the muddy riverside, broken and not breathing, flashed through my head. I frowned. After the third time of pulling it apart, I heard movement coming from the bed. I leaned towards her and saw her eye lids flutter.

"August?" I questioned putting my hand on her shoulder. She groaned and mumbled something. I leaned in closer trying to decipher what she was saying.

"What? You need something, doll?"

"Mmm I needs ughhh-"Her voice trailed off. I frowned, but tried to wait patiently. Her eyes opened widely and she looked at me.

"I feel like catepillars are tickling me," she started giggling and then cringed. My head titled and I smirked slightly.

"Well, I don't see any," I said playing along realizing the morphine was talking. Her fingers reached for my metal ones and I held her fragile fingers in between mine. She looked at me as if she wanted to declare something important.

"I need- I need… Bucky, I really need fuzzy socks. My feet are naked!" She pulled one of her legs from under the blankets and wiggled her foot in my direction. I smiled widely, looking at her dainty foot.

"No! Don't look! Bucky, that's improper to look at my naked feets. Fuzzy socks. I need fuzzy socks." She slurred, her hand flew to cover my eyes. I outright laughed at her ridiculousness. Peeking through her fingers, I could see her loopy smile. A warmth settled in me. I felt at ease. As I considered this feeling, I realized that this wasn't her power, it was what I truly felt. Safe. Comfortable.

"Sorry, you're right. I've gotta respect your modesty, August. It's just that seeing your bare foot is just so damn _tempting_ ," I moved my face close to hers, smirked while waggling my eyebrows suggestively, moving her hand out of the way. Her mouth formed a perfect O and a blush rose to her cheeks. This woman is going to be the death of me. Pulling back before I laid one on her, I walked over to the bag that Natasha had packed her.

"Oh! Are my Captain America socks in there? I want those!" she exclaimed. I turned quirking an eyebrow at her, not sure how to take her fascination with wearing Captain America paraphernalia. Finding the socks, I pulled them out bring them towards her. I moved the blanket and pulled her foot into my lap carefully. She tried to pull it back, but I gave her a stern look.

Her feet were so tiny, so fragile in my metal hand, but I could feel trust radiating off of her.

"You're gonna hafta marry me now. You've seen _and_ touched my naked feet," She stated matter-of-factly with a laugh and I chuckled grabbing her other foot.

"I wouldn't be good for you, August," I mumbled in seriousness. She stopped her chirping and looked at me squarely.

"Bucky, you would. You would be good for me," She said it with such conviction that I paused. She then shook her her foot and gave me an impatient look.

Getting the socks on her, she uncrossed her arms and started at me, really stared at me. We sat in silence for a moment until out of nowhere she said, "I know you, don't I?"

I sat stock still, unmoving assessing the situation.I swallowed and then I opened my mouth trying to come up with an answer when suddenly the door swung open. I let out a sigh as Natasha walked through the door.

"Am I interrupting anything?" She asked with a knowing look, hands on her hips.

"Nat! I am so glad you are here! Look at my fuzzy socks! I think I'm gonna get Steve to sign them," She proceeded to show off her socks and the assassin smiled arching one perfect eyebrow.

"Well, at least you're not trying to get him to sign your underwear," She commented plopping down in a chair, resting her feet on the frame of August's bed.

"Did you think he would? Oh that would be epic!" August was clapping and looking between the two of us.

"Gus, I don't think he would," her face fell, "but I bet we could get him to sign your socks."

August looked down at her socks tapping them to some imaginary beat. Her feet abruptly stopped and she pulled a confused face.

"Wait a hot minute! These aren't fuzzy socks! This are regular everyday 'Merica socks. Buck, I'm gonna need you to find them," she finished with urgency.

"Gus, I hate to break it to you, but I didn't pack any fuzzy socks for you. When I heard you were hurt, I just threw something in the bag really quickly," Natasha explained.

"Oh, well. That's okay. It just feels like I am walking on feathers, and clouds, and sunshine, and fluffy kittens when I wear them," We both gave her a weird look as she prattled on clearly affected by the pain medication. I stood up letting go of her hand.

"I'll find some." Her whole face brightened and she spoke quickly.

"Oh Buck! My hero! I knew you'd come to my rescue and save my freezin' toes."

She turned to Natasha and launched into a conversation about how she would rather be cold than hot because when you're cold then you can add more layers, but when you're hot, you can't just get naked. Images of her running around in her panties flashed into my thoughts and I muttered a bye as I stomped out the door on my mission. My mission to find fuzzy socks.

* * *

 **A/N: I wanted to end in a more lighthearted, comical sort of way considering things have been so action packed recently. Stay tuned for more folks!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I am ecstatic that y'all enjoyed the last chapter as much as you did. I love, love, love hearing your feedback! This chapter is shorter and deals more with setting the stage for later events.**

* * *

"A whole month? A whole month? You've got to be kiddin' me?" I exclaimed in disbelief.

Barton gave me a smile, hands gripping the rail of my hospital bed. He looked like he was enjoying this.

"Yep, cricket a whole month. And PT for probably 3 months. You're lucky though that the bullet just grazed you. You could've been looking at 6 months of healing if it hadn't been a through and through. And let me promise you that when you're done with all that, then I will be on you like white on rice. Training every damn day." His voice rang sincere as I cringed. He was clearly still butt hurt about the whole thing.

We had all begun to refer to it as 'the graduation incident.' A constant reminder of my stupidity. Tony still didn't have talking privileges.

"Fine, lay it on me Barton. I wouldn't mind being a pain in your ass," I winked trying to alleviate the tension. He crossed his arms and huffed, "You've always been a pain in my ass, Gus."

"But you love my ass! If it wasn't for all this extra padding, that bullet could've hit my hip bone. I've never been so thankful for my curves until now," I joked giving him a genuine smile. He still wasn't biting. I sighed and pushed my still bruised hand through my hair.

"Look… I know that I messed up. And I know that I… I scared you Clint. I am really, genuinely sorry." I leveled with him. He finally plopped down in the chair next to my bed side, his hands grabbing the edges of the blanket that was covering me. He sat in silence pulling at a loose thread.

He sighed deeply then said, "Gus, I- seeing you in that strait jacket, seeing you now, it's hard for me. I don't want to ever be in a situation again where you have to… have to take a bullet for me. You're practically family and I can't- I can't…." He trailed off. My hand reached for his. He didn't need to speak. I knew before my fingertips touched his skin how he was feeling. I felt the same way when I saw Rumlow grab the gun. I couldn't lose him.

The door opened to my room and both Barton and I looked up. Bucky stomped in, Steve trailing behind him.

"Buck, you gotta knock first. She could've been indecent," Steve pointed out patting his friends back in good humor.

"I've already seen her naked feet," he winked in my direction and my stomach flipped like a gymnast performing for an audience. Steve looked lost, but seemed to be unbothered.

"Good news, August! They are going to release you today," He was pleased, but I grumbled not looking forward to taking a whole month to truly heal up.

"Well that's about as useful as tits on a bull. I'll be doing the same damn thing there that I am doing here." I crossed my arms like a petulant child, bottom lip sticking out. Clint gave me a distasteful look and stood.

"No ma'am. No complaining. The graduation incident was your fault. Now suck it up. I am going to go grab you some of that apple sauce you like. When I get back, I better not hear one more negative word out of that sweet southern mouth of yours," He fixed me with a look as he exited my room. As soon as he was gone, I pulled the blankets off me and turned my body so I was sitting up, legs dangling over the edge of the bed. I was wearing light blue fuzzy socks with pink kittens on them. I beamed up at Bucky, remembering Natasha saying that he had snagged them for me, and the corner of his almost permanent frowned flicked upwards. I reached my hands out toward Steve like a toddler reaching for their parent.

"Help me down. Nurse says I need to try and walk around every other hour. I reckon it'll help me heal faster!" Steve helped me stand up. He remained hunched over, my arm slung over his shoulder for support. My feet shuffled in baby steps as he walked along side me. Bucky watched with a critical gaze probably looking for signs of pain. Thankfully, the pain was manageable. Steve settled me in the plush chair near the window.

I looked out at the parking lot, seeing huge black clouds overhead. I loved a good rainstorm. Curling up in a fluffy blanket in sweat pants, a baggy t-shirt, and no bra, sipping on a cup of sleepy-time tea, watching a storm roll in was comparable to lazy afternoon sex. It was satisfying, comforting, pleasurable, and languid. Hearing Steve clear his throat, I jolted out of my thoughts. Turning my head towards him in question, I waited to see what he was going to say.

Steve had been the only one who hadn't given me a thorough tongue lashing about the graduation incident. Well, technically Bucky hadn't either, but his threat was clear enough. _I wouldn't mind if he gave me a thorough tongue lashing_.

A light blush rolled to my cheeks as I tried to calm my dirty thoughts. Steve had an uncertain look on his face and he was wringing his hands together. It dawned on me that he was anxious. I turned my body towards him with a wince of pain. Bucky's face twitched.

"August. I have something I want to ask you about. And uh- if you feel uncomfortable at any time, just let me know...I can get Natasha," Now he had my full attention. Bucky tensed like a tight coil. My eyebrows were knit together in concern as I waited for him to finish, "When I first arrived on the bridge, I encountered Rumlow before anyone else. While we were fighting, he said some things. I… I wasn't sure if he was just trying to rattle me up or if what he was saying was true. I want to make sure… I want to make sure that you're okay, that you can talk to someone about _anything_ that happened to you…" His voice trailed off.

"What did he say?" I spat. I didn't mean to sound so angry or abrupt, but just hearing that man's name made me scared which in turn pissed me off. I didn't like feeling weak.

Steve cleared his throat again and looked me straight in the eyes.

"He said that he… he enjoyed having his hands all over you… that facing all of us was worth it because he got to touch you-" I gulped, mouth suddenly dry. Bucky's hands were clinched and there was fire in his eyes, "I haven't told anyone else what he said, I wanted to.. to give you a voice, hear your side. What happened, August?"

Flashes of Chadwick throwing me under his body, his hands running up my sides, of Rumlow's nasty, gloved hands running over my chest squeezing, touching my bare legs, the inside of my thighs, skirted across my thoughts. I swallowed again.

"I… they didn't rape me… if that's what you're asking," I tried to sound dismissive. I had a weird shame running through my body. I knew that I wasn't to blame, that when someone touches you or does something without your permission that they should be held responsible, but part of me did blame myself even though I knew that was unfair. No wonder girls have such a hard time coming forward about things of this nature; I felt dirty and I was concerned about being judged and I hadn't even been raped. I chewed on my bottom lip in thought.

Bucky came over and kneeled in front of me. His hands reaching out to the arms of my chair. He didn't get all in my space though, he gave me room to breath, to think, to escape if I needed to. He didn't touch my skin; He was giving me a choice. He was giving me power over the situation.

"August, did these men touch you?"

"Um… yes… but he didn't get very far. He just- he and Chadwick just felt me up- I- I am okay though. I… it could've been a lot worse," I said in honesty chewing on my bottom lip. I'll give Bucky and Steve some credit, they stayed calm and supportive waiting on me to finish speaking.

"Gus, I am sorry that happened to you. I know that must have been scary, but we did catch Rumlow and Chadwick didn't survive his injuries- I guess falling out a car window will do that to you-" Learning this news, I interrupted Steve.

"He didn't fall."

"What?"

"He didn't fall. I kicked him out the window. It wasn't an accident," I said kind of proud of myself. They both looked at me with a look of shock and mild amusement. I felt a rush of pride knowing that I wasn't completely useless when it came to fighting and that in the end I got my revenge.

"I don't remember teaching you that ma'am," Steve joked.

"Well when you don't have any arms, you make do. I was going to throw a hissy fit at first, but I remembered what you said about saving your energy until an opportunity opens up. So that's what I did," I said bashfully, subconsciously rubbing my neck.

"Did they do that to you too?" Steve nodded towards my neck. My eyes automatically flicked to Bucky who kept a straight face; however, his eyes read guilt.

"Yeah, Chadwick got frustrated with my insults." It was half true, but Steve looked skeptical. Damn, Steve was observant. He was glancing over at Bucky.

"But it's okay, I got my revenge in the end. I am glad that Rumlow will be brought to justice… I- he said something though that has been bothering me… He um insinuated that we had meet before. You think, he was just planning mind games with me?" I questioned wanting to see their response.

Steve stood up straighter and his eyes moved away from Bucky. Bucky was clenching and unclenching his fists. Weird. Neither made an effort to speak. I stood on shaky legs. _These guys know something._ I reached my fingertips towards Bucky's bare hand. He didn't recoil, his eyes locked on my fingers. Before I could make contact, the door flew open with a bang.

"APPLESAUCE!" Clint yelled in triumph, "I had to fight an old lady with dentures, but I got the last one. Only the best for- Everything okay?" He interrupted himself taking in the tension in the room. I pulled my hand away and flashed him a bright smile.

"Just peachy! I bet that was an epic battle, Barton. Steal from the old and give to the poor- you're practically Robin Hood," I joked slowly shuffling on my own back to my bed, "Give me a boost, will ya?" As Barton helped me back in, I replayed Steve and Bucky's reactions over and over. My nightmare from earlier that week came to my thoughts.

Something was fishy. And I was determined to figure it out.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: First off, thank you to my dedicated followers and commenters. I apologize for being MIA recently. Alas, life has been busy. There are some more answers in this chapter; however, my intention is to set the stage for bigger things to come. Thanks and** **enjoy!**

* * *

"Buck, I am not a paper doll! I'm not going to shatter at a moments notice!" I huffed in irritation looking up at the immovable force blocking me.

"I am not going to ask you again. Get in bed. Now doll." His voice came out in a hrash whisper.

I could tell I trying his patience. But he wias also trying mine. I had been cooped up in my room for almost four whole days! I needed fresh air, and sunshine, and birds chirping, and alcohol, and pain medication. _Probably not a good combo, idiot. This is why they took you off that medication so quickly._ Honestly, I was just sick of being treated with kid gloves; I was healing, but I was sick and tired of being bed ridden.

"But Bucky!" I stomped my foot like a petulant little child trying to get their way. The Winter Soldier remained unamused. His metal hand reached out and gingerly grasped my arm, right above my elbow. It always fascinated me how something so clearly created for destruction could be so tender and reassuring. I was pulled towards my bed, a black and white cat contrasting my yellow comforter. I tried to step up into my fluffy prison, but I winced as pain shot up my side. Cold metal and warm flesh grasped my waist, fingers brushing against the small sliver of skin between my oversized sweatpants and my faded tank top that said _Hey Y'all_ in rounded, curling letters. Just like the juxtaposition between Bucky's metal hand and human hand, my body responded in contrast: I shivered and flushed all at once. He eased me onto my bed, his breath hitting my cheek. I knew he felt what I was feeling, the push and pull of the attraction we clearly had for each other. He felt it too, right?

He tucked me in, his fingers lingering to push a loose curl behind my ear. He turned to leave.

"Wait!" He paused not looking at me, waiting for me to keep talking.

"Um… could ya stay? You see, I'm going crazy in here. I've already read 4 books… and I've resorted to talking out loud to Cilantro. I think I'm loosin it…" I half joked looking his direction bashfully.

"August. You've been talking to your cat since before you got shot," He arched one brow at me and gave me a devilish smirk. I laughed and petted my tuxedo cat behind his ears.

"Well, at least I haven't been hearing him talk back. Then we would need to worry. Uh anyways, I demand that you entertain me!" I exclaimed, waving my hands in the air as if a noble queen was beseeching her knight.

"What if I have something better to do, huh?" He moved to sit on the end of my bed. I scoffed and shook my head.

"What is better than talking to cute little me?" I joked waggling my eyebrows at him, reaching to touch his skin. He pulled back his arm, realizing my evil plan to coerce him into staying to talk to me. I paused, suddenly worried that maybe I had overstepped or that maybe I was reading too much into our previous encounters. I mean, I knew that in the least we were friends and at the most we were… something. _But what if he doesn't actually like me and I am just feeding him my emotions through my power?_ He stood abruptly and moved with a fluidity that water would have been jealous of.

Standing next to my side he leaned closer to me. I could see the attractive stubble on his face, sky-blue eyes, powerful jaw, and mouth titled in a sinful slant.

"I would say kissing is better than talking," His voice was low and husky. Desire suddenly erupted in my gut. He moved closer, his nose barely brushing mine, eagle eyes watching to see how I would respond. My bottom lip quaked like a leaf about to fall off from a tree. His palms moved to lay flat on the mattress, not wanting to scare me away.

As his surprisingly soft lips met mine, I felt his raw emotion hit me. _Want. Affection. Compassion. Determination. Guilt._ The last feeling surprised me, but instead of pulling away, I bravely leaned in more. I felt like my lips and my fingertips were humming. It was like when the light kisses the earth right before the sun sets for the night. His hand came up and threaded in my hair pulling me even closer. I felt his legs hit the side of the bed.

All of the sudden he pulled away from me. I was panting rather embarrassingly, but was distracted by his quick movements. He had a confused look on his face as he looked down at the mattress. He stepped back and hunched over, grabbing something from between my mattress and bed frame. I gasped out loud. _Oh Fuck!_

In Bucky's hands was the file that I had borrowed from Maria Hill. The file on James Buchannan Barnes. The man who just had his lips sealed against mine. I gulped almost audibly as his hands opened the folder, his eyes scanning the text. He flipped pages, not once looking up. I tried to read his face, but it was indiscernible.

"Bucky?" I whispered nervously. He still didn't look at me, but started to flip more frantically through the file as if he was looking for something specific. He got to the end and seemed to let out a sigh of.. relief?

Silence permeated the room like colored dye slinking through clear water. I waited, nervous, scared, uncertain, confused.

"Why do you have this?" He still wasn't looking at me. I sat gathering myself, my courage, my answer.

"I wanted to know what they did to you. What parts you were missing. How I could help. I… I haven't read it yet…. At first I was pretty damn determined to read it, but then something… something held me back," I attempted to explain. He sighed again and moved to sit on the dge of my bed. His eyes meet mine finally, bubbling with emotion. Something was brewing behind those baby blues.

"Why do you want to help me?"

"I like helping people."

"That's the answer you're going to stick with?" He called out my vague excuse.

"Um, yes?" He gave me a stern look and looked at my hands. I could tell he was debating on whether or not to give me a chance to answer without my powers.

"Fine. I feel like…. I feel like we have a connection. The first time I saw you, I knew that you deserved my help. It's not out of pity or obligation to Steve or you, I just…. I just was overcome with this sense of.. familiarity?" I ended uncertain myself. I reached for his bared hand. The second our finger tips touched, my mind was zapped with an image. A flash of something.I ripped my hand back.

"That! What is that?" I exclaimed. His eyes widened a fraction. I would've missed it if I hadn't been paying attention. I stretched my fingers towards him again wrapping around his thick wrist. Another image zinged into my mind's eye. I felt his pulse quicken. I tried to focus, holding on with a tight grip.

I saw a young girl with messy, unkempt brown hair huddled in the corner of a poorly lit room. She sat on a hospital bed, a blood bag hanging from her. Her face, although drooping with exhaustion and pale like moonlight, was smiling.

I threw myself away from Bucky, not even acknowledging the pain of my fast motion. I was panting again, but in fear and confusion. A sweat had broken out on my brow and I felt as if I was going to hurl. None of this made sense.

"That was me! That was fucking me!" I felt like I was yelling, but my voice only came out in a whisper. Bucky moved towards me, acting as if I was a skittish, wounded animal.

"No! Don't fucking touch me!" He cringed as if I had slapped him across the face.

I tried to calm down. Tried to reel in my emotions. Tried to think. The memory (that's what it had to be) bounced around my head, swarming my senses. I rocked my body back and forth, breathing in and out.

Even in my pain and disorientation, one thing was abundantly clear to me. A horrible epiphany and realization settled in my soul.

"You are the one who took me."

* * *

 **A/N:** More answers are coming soon my pretties!


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Prepare yourself for a lot of angst. More answers in this chapter. Shout out to Valerie- Your comments always brighten my day! I am glad you liked the last chapter!**

* * *

The beat of silence rang like a rattle of a snare drum. Blood was pumping violently through my body. My mind was spinning, trying to make sense of what I had just said, what I had just realized. Nausea built in my stomach and I felt clammy. How could this be true?

"August," his voice whispered almost in a hushed tone of reverence.

My eyes snapped to his face so quickly that I felt like I was falling. His piercing blue eyes linked onto mine, the room suddenly stopped spinning. I realized that my hand had involuntarily reached out towards him. His bare fingertips touched like a whisper against mine. _Flash_.

 _"Do you even speak?" her voice squeaked, her head tilted back in interest. Her face caught the light, showing a yellow bruise under her right eye barely hiding the sprinkle of freckles on her cheeks, her dark brown eyes hummed with a fire, a resilience._

 _I didn't move. I had completed my mission. I didn't need to talk to her. But a small part of me wanted to talk to her. My metal hand clenched and unclenched._

 _"Ya know, I always thought mimes were creepy. They are like clowns, but worse….Never talking. Always acting. Anyways, can you please answer my question? I demand to know why I am here! This instant!" She stood on wobbly legs, arms crossed, the fire in her eyes blazing. I inwardly smirked._

 _She stepped towards me, no fear in her eyes. She should be scared. My body stayed in place, my gaze on her small frame. She moved until she was right in front of me. As quick as lightening her hand lunged for my face. Quicker than lightening, my metal hand caught hers. I pressed hard against her fragile fingers. Her expression turned to pain and she tugged away from me, whimpering softly._

 _I loosened my grip slightly, but pulled her even closer. Her body was rigged against mine, fear finally settling into her, leaning over her I whispered in her ear,_

 _"I'm no mime, little girl. I am the Winter Soldier."_

 _Her eyes flew towards mine, widening. She gulped, but said with a falsely happy tone,_

 _"Well bless your heart, you can speak!"_

I slapped his fingers away and turned my gaze towards my own fingertips. _What the hell was that?_ I asked myself. My hands were shaking. This was too much.

"That was one of the few memories I have…. About you… from before," He seemed winded as he shared this information with me, reading my mind. I felt like he had slapped me in the face. So, it was true. He had kidnapped me all of those years ago.

I pushed myself off the bed and gripped the file that was laying on the floor. I quickly scanned the contents, looking for anything to support what I already knew was true. As I reached page 47, I realized that it jumped to page 54. Seven pages were missing. Seven pages, that I knew must be about me. I threw the whole file away from me as if it had burned my skin. Bile rose up my throat. Violent, angry words spit out of my mouth before I could control myself.

"So this whole time! This whole time, you knew! I can't- I can't believe that I let you touch me, let you kiss me! How fucked up is this? No, stay back! I never want you to touch me again. If you touch me again, I will kill you. You took me. You, you monster!" I shoved him back and stood, putting distance between us.

The word _monster_ seemed to echo on and on. Pain flashed in his eyes, but at the moment I didn't care. I was acutely aware of my injured hip aching, but it didn't matter. I had to get away. I had to get away from all of this.

I ripped the door of my room open, it slammed back against the wall. Hot tears ran down my face. I turned out of my room, but immediately bumped into someone's chest. Gloved hands gripped my elbows, I looked up my vision blurred.

"I heard yelling, everything alright?" Steve asked looking down at me with a frown, worry clearly written on his face.

Another epiphany hit me. Steve knew. He _had_ to know. Did… did they all know?

"Get off me!" I jerked myself back, my voice shrill. His eyebrows stitched together, then he looked over my shoulder, probably seeing Bucky behind me. I tried to push past Steve, but he latched on to me again. My fists pounded against him.

"Let go! I swear to God, I-I can't believe… Damnit! How could you?" my voice broke as a sob shook my body. Steve pulled me closer, hugging me to his chest. For a split second, I rested against him. It hurt, my whole soul hurt. Part of me wanted comfort, but the deep sense of betrayal was stronger than that desire. These people, who I considered my friends, my family even, had lied to me, had brought me here knowing more about my past than I did, had pushed me towards the hands of the one who had kidnapped me. I slowly moved my hand towards Steve's bare face. He looked down at me with hurt in his eyes, feeling bad for me.

That pissed me off. He did not get to feel pity for me.

My hand smacked against his face with a thwack. In that one slap, I sent him all of the pain I was feeling, all of the confusion. Steve buckled to his knees, hands running down the length of my body. I pushed him off me and ran. My adrenaline was surging through my veins. I had to get away, injury be damned. Emotion was bubbling up in me, the feeling of exploding overcoming my rational side. My legs pumped and survival mode took over.

Running felt good, moving, making strides. I was sick of being stagnant. I made my way down to the garage. It was time to get the hell out of this place.

Reaching my destination, I saw a black leather jacket hanging on the hooks by the door and some boots. I quickly put the jacket on, grabbed the boots and shoved my feet into them. Both the jacket and the boots were way to big, but I didn't have time to worry about that.

Grabbing a set of keys from the wall, a contemptuous smile stretched across my face. I knew what vehicle I was taking. I straddled the Harley Davidson, the machine coming to life between my legs. If they could steal something from me, I could steal something from them.

As I pulled out of the garage, I knew it would be a matter of minutes before I was followed. But the ache of being betrayed rang in my heart. I felt like the only family I had had since the passing of my real family, had all been a game of make believe. A falsehood. As the wind blew through my hair, I let numbness take over. No more feelings. It was time to go.

* * *

"Why has no one gone after her yet? Why did no one tell me the truth? This.. this is disgusting!" Barton's voice rang out in anger. Natasha stepped forward placing a calming hand on his shoulder. He tensed, but didn't pull away.

"Clint, we thought it was best. We thought that letting her discover the truth after getting to know Bucky would be the best choice. Plus, no one knows the whole story, we would've just have been giving her bits and pieces that would create more questions that we don't have answers for."

"You mean, Furry thought it would be best, right? How did you guys think this would go down? Huh? She would find out that Mr. Assassin over there took a year from her life, let men drain the blood from her body, torture her with tests, and she would thank him? Hug him? How could you all do this? You didn't see her when she was rescued. I did. I saw her, broken and frail. I saw her go through depression so dark, that it was dangerous to touch her. She had _finally_ gotten better. And y'all fuck her over like this?"

Guilt flowed through the room along with silence. My body moved forward of its own accord. My mouth opened to speak.

"No! You of all people don't get to talk!" Clint pushed me in the chest. I let him. I deserved it. Steve moved towards us.

"Barton! Bucky wanted to tell her. Bucky hated this as much as you do now. But- Furry- we convinced him that this was the best course of action. We wanted her to see the real Bucky, not just the Winter Soldier."

Barton still glared at me. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

"You would think after the disaster in Siberia, that it would be obvious that information like this wouldn't be taken well," Stark muttered to himself, arms crossed staring at me with clear disdain.

Turning away from the group, I spoke,"August...she was the first glimpse of humanity I had seen in myself since I had become the Winter Soldier. She let me know that underneath the monster I had become, there was a human. And every time after she had escaped that they tried to erase my memories, I would still remember her eyes, her small hands." My voice shook.

I felt broken. And angry at myself for the weakness I was feeling.

"We can't just leave her out there. Although we have Crossbones, that doesn't mean she is safe," Sam Wilson pointed out rationally.

"I'll go get our little spitfire," Tony raised his hand, standing up straight.

"Oh no fucking way. Two words. Graduation. Incident." Barton barked at him. This set everyone off. Yelling, shoving, cussing. I watched, battling the war within myself.

I didn't want to be that monster. Not to her. I needed answers, I needed to give her the little truths that I knew. I needed her back.

I made a decision and swiftly moved away from the group. They didn't even notice that I had left the room.

It was time. Time to go get my girl.

* * *

 **AN: Well, there you go. Although, I love portraying Bucky as decisive and a force to be reckoned with, I also wanted to show how his guilt affects him. I hope you enjoy, my loves!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: So sorry that it has been so long since I've updated. Alas, my summer is over and I am back to my job again. I am planning on updating tomorrow if I can. Thanks to my faithful followers! Keep reviewing; I love hearing what you liked and what your suggestions are. Kisses!**

* * *

A Bad Life Choice by August McKay. That's what I am going to title my new book. I did not think any of this through. You would think that having a special ability that allows you to be in tune with emotions to an extreme level would help me control mine, but apparently not.

A dingy motel bed, with flickering orange light. My hands covered in blisters from gripping the handles of an over sized bike. My knee scuffed and bloody from tripping in my boots that were several sizes too big. The pain from my hip shooting through my weak body. Plus, I smelled like death. All in all, the situation couldn't look bleaker.

Oh wait. There was the fact that the guy I had been undeniably attracted to had in fact been the same man who kidnapped me when I was 16.

Limping over to the bathroom, I splashed cold water in my face making sure to take several deep breaths. I didn't know how to place this. I could normally categorize and place my feelings. I had to learn to do this out of survival or I could accidentally send all of my heavy emotions to somebody and hurt them. Now, I tried to do this for my sanity.

Bucky had taken me. I couldn't remember every detail, but it was clear in my mind that he was with me when Hydra held me captive, and knowing Bucky's history, and feeling his guilt, I knew that he had been the one. The one who came into my friend's house, the one who took me from my body guard, the one who gave me over to the evil men who took my memories.

But he was also the one who wasn't scared to touch my skin. The one who made my heart race with a single glance, the one that I felt drawn to help, the one I truly cared about. This is all so fucking confusing.

"Shit," I mumbled to myself exhausted and hurting.

I dragged my body to the bed, pulled off the boots and my dirty sweatpants. I laid on top of the covers in just my tank top, the oversized jacket and my underwear. Sleep overtook me allowing me to escape for just a moment.

* * *

BANG. The door to the motel room slammed open so hard that it bounced off the hay colored walls. My eyes flew open, I sat up searching in the dark trying to recover from the fear and adrenaline that surged through my blood. In the dark, I could see the outline of a broad man. I knew immediately who it was. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but my mouth was dry and words refused to pour out of me.

He moved like a tidal wave hitting the sandy beach. He was by my side, bare and metal hand reaching, face stitched in concern. I was torn; torn between turning away from him and turning towards him. I stared frozen like the cliché deer in the headlights.

"What have you done to yourself?" His voice floated through the cold air of the room. Apparently I looked as bad as I felt. He sat next to me, my body refusing to move away from him. My eyes connected to his stormy blues. An unspoken question pulsed through the room. He knew that I wanted to know, everything.

"Let me show you," his voice washed over me. I gave into the emotion filled memory he was trying to send me.

 _"Rosa, I think you should wear the black heels. Jerome is going to love you in those!" came the joy filled voice from the living room. I glanced through the window assessing the situation. This was my mission. Grab the girl. Bring her back to headquarters. The body guard was near; I must be careful._

 _The Rosa girl spun around in a frilly dress showing off for all of the girls at the sleep over._

 _The target was sitting towards the back. Her curly hair hung around her face; she seemed more reserved, more guarded than the other girls. There was something clearly different about her._

 _"What do you think August?" Rosa asked curious and genuine._

 _"I actually like the nude shoes better. But Rosa you could make a burlap sack look great," She commented smiling at the other girls._

 _I noticed some of the other girls sneer and roll their eyes. Apparently, they didn't like the target._

 _"You would know," someone said._

 _The target shrugged and laughed seemingly unphased by the comment._

 _"Whatever, Jessica. At least I don't have to stuff my bra." She threw back._

 _All of the girls laugh and 'Jessica' looked angry. She stood and turned towards the target._

 _"Well at least, I am not a freak! No wonder your parents 'disappeared.' I would want to get as far away from you as possible!"_

 _August stood, body trembling, fists clenched. Suddenly, I felt a pulse of anger in my bones. The whole room looked angry in fact. This must be the power I was warned about._

 _"Oh bless your heart Jessica! It's just cute that you think that I give a damn about what you think. Maybe I'll make you disappear too," she huffed and moved away from the room. The target was clearly upset._

 _This was my chance. She headed towards the bathroom. I ran and circled the outside of the house and made my way to the bathroom window. I beat her to the bathroom and pulled myself through the window. This was going to be easy._

 _As I pulled myself behind the shower curtain, I considered all the possibilities for how this could play out._

 _The young girl slammed the door open. Tears were streaming down her face. I felt a twinge of guilt. I can't do this. She is innocent. I shook my head. I knew this was my mission. I didn't want to be electrocuted again. And I knew I had no choice. This is who I am._

 _She splashed water in her face and then gripped the edge of the sink taking audible breaths._

 _"You are in control. You can do this," I heard her sweet southern voice say to herself._

 _Peering through the small space between the shower wall and the curtain, I felt that same pang again. This is my mission, I reminded myself._

 _All of the sudden she grabbed a toothbrush and spun around facing the shower. Her eyes carried a fire in them._

 _"Who's there?" She demanded grasping the toothbrush._

 _I almost laughed. Brave little thing._

 _She abruptly threw the toothbrush with all her might at the shower curtain hitting my forehead with a thwack. My body moved without permission from my mind. I needed to get control of the situation and quick. My hand flew over her mouth and I pulled her against me._

 _She bit down on my gloved finger and I growled at her hauling her towards the window._

 _"Lemme th-mmmm fuck mmmhhhm go!" Came her muffled voice through my fingers. I ripped the window open with my metal arm and tried to push her through the window. Both of her feet planted on the wall right outside the window frame, keeping me from getting her through. She pushed with all of her strength, refusing to give up._

 _"Move." I commanded._

 _Her legs didn't move. She tried to yell at me through my hand. I turned pulling her away from the window. A knock sounded on the door._

 _"August, you okay? I'm sorry Jessica said that, it was totally uncalled for," came someone's voice._

 _I made eye contact with the target, her dark brown eyes pouring into mine. I couldn't do this. Not with her looking at me. I knew this was wrong. I checked to see if our skin was touching. It wasn't. What the hell had gotten into me? I knocked her hard on the back of the head, knocking her out effectively. As I carried her limp body to the get away car, I felt remorse for the first time in a long time._

I gasped for air. I felt like I had been water boarded in his feelings. I couldn't move, my body and my mind were so tired. I was in his arms. His forehead, his hand, touching my bare skin.

"Can I hold you?" he asked looking at my exhausted state. I couldn't even nod. I felt a weird mixture of his guilt, my fear, and strangely, relief that he was currently there.

His hand moved to pull the leather jacket off me. I realized I had broken out in a sweat. But at the same time I was cold.

"As much as I like seeing you in my jacket, it has to go." He mumbled moving closer to me.

After the jacket came off, I realized that we were spooning. This was the most skin to skin contact I had had in a while. It felt good. His energy was pouring into me and he was in turn taking my pain. His warm breath hit my ear and my skin broke out in goosebumps. Even though we still had two layers of clothes between us, it felt strangely intimate. His warmth wrapped around me like a cozy blanket. I let out an audible sigh and couldn't resist moving towards his heat. A groan broke from his lips, rumbling against my neck.

"Don't do that. I'm trying to be a gentleman," He laughed. I felt his lips against my neck as I spoke. Fuck this was all so confusing.

"Buck, I-"

"Don't speak, I can feel how tired you are. Rest, August. I want to tell- show you all that I remember, but for now it's more important that you sleep."

"Thanks Buck," I sleepily mumbled towards him wiggling against him again.

"Fuck. You can never follow directions, can you? I got you. It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you, Gus, sleep." He whispered. I truly felt safe.

"This doesn't mean yore off the hook James."

"I know, I know."

And with that sleep demanded that I give in and I fell into a dreamless sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: Things get a little steamy, you've been warned. Thanks for the comments and follows! Y'all are the best._

* * *

 _I wonder if he ever smiles. He's always mean mugging everyone. It makes sense since he is like an assassin slash kidnapper person, but I bet when he smiles the dimples on his cheeks are more noticeable. I bet his smile reaches his eyes. He doesn't seem like the kind of person to smile at anything; when he does smile it must be genuine and precious. I wonder when was the last time he smiled._

 _"Quit." His rough voice shook me from my thoughts._

 _"Quit what?" I asked tilting my head._

 _"quit staring at me."_

 _I laughed and fell back onto the old, creaky bed._

 _"That's rich coming from you. All ya do is stare," I pointed out._

 _He didn't say anything, keeping his eyes on me. His gaze sometimes made me uneasy. Trying to stay positive and distracted, I sat back up facing my personal guard._

 _"Let's play a game!"_

 _He arched one eyebrow looking unamused. I remained undaunted._

 _"It's called 'Two truths and a lie,' it's like a getting to know you game. I'll list three things about myself. Two of the three things will be true and one will be a lie. You try and guess the lie."_

 _He remained silent. This guy had a serious case of resting bitch face. Not letting that ruin my fun, I began my list._

 _"Okay so here it goes: I hate peanut butter. I am scared of heights. And I can pinch people with my toes…. Which one is the lie?"_

 _As I spoke the soldier tilted his head and leaned towards me his palms on his knees._

 _"Say it again," He gruffly demanded. I smiled despite myself and began to repeat myself._

 _"Hate peanut butter. Scared of heights and can pi-"_

 _"The second one. You aren't scared of heights." My mouth fell open._

 _"How'd you know?" I questioned._

 _"Good guess," He winked at me and my mouth fell open even wider. I was at a loss for words. He had never done that before. He actually seemed human for a second. His gloved hand reached out and he placed one finger under my chin. He gently closed my mouth for me. I surprisingly didn't pull a way. It was nice to have human contact that... wasn't painful. Bossy pants Rumlow had really give me a good smack for calling him a pansy ass wimp who hits like a 3_ _rd_ _grader. Yeah, truth be told he doesn't hit like a 3_ _rd_ _grader._

 _"Uh well okay, that was lucky. I bet you won't get the next one. I ride horses in my spare-"_

 _"That's a lie."_

 _"What the hell? I didn't even finish! How in God's green earth did you know that?" I was flabbergasted. I saw his mouth twitch. Was that an almost smile?_

 _"You have a tell," he stated matter of factly._

 _"No I don't!" I crossed my arms scrunching my nose up. He leaned in closer._

 _"Yeah you do."_

 _Without really thinking, I reached my foot over, placed my big toe on the fleshy part of his thigh and pinched._

 _"Shit!" His gloved hand wrapped around my ankle and he moved my pain inflicting toes away from him. I let out an evil cackle._

 _"That fucking hurt," He growled, and I should've been scared, but being scared wasn't an option. I had to survive. I had to have moments like this._

 _"Oh come on you big baby! You are a freakin assassin/super weapon thing."_

 _"But pinching toes are my weakness," He mumbled still holding onto my leg. Again, I gapped like a fish._

 _'Did- did you just make a joke? I knew you were human!" I asked in shock. He opened his mouth to speak but abruptly the door flew open._

 _"Winter Soldier, grab the girl and bring her to unit A12, we have more tests to run." Rumlow's voice shattered whatever comradery that had been going between me and my guard._

 _I pulled away from both of them. Leaving this room had never turned out well for me. I tried to make myself smaller. The soldier had stood, but had not made to reach for me yet._

 _"Oh honey, did I break that spirit of yours already?" Rumlow sneered moving to tower over me._

 _I saw the soldier's hands clench and unclench. Interesting._

 _I glared at the man in front of me and suddenly lurched forward spitting in his face. He growled and grabbed me by hair ripping from the bed forcing me to stand. I refused to yelp in pain._

 _"Soldier, do I need to repeat myself?"_

 _The soldier's cold metal hand grasped my wrist with bruising force. I winced outwardly and inwardly._

* * *

My eyes fluttered as I woke from my dream. Or memory, maybe? My head ached dully and I couldn't see anything. I blinked trying to grow accustom to the dark. When the blinking wasn't working, my fuzzy mind realized it was because my face was laying in Bucky's chest. His bare chest.

My body and mind refused to let the onslaught of emotions take hold of me as I remembered the situation I was in. All I allowed myself to focus on was the delicious smell of the man holding me- it was something spicy, masculine, but subtle. I took a deep breath in and nuzzled my nose into his warm chest. I wish I could lie here forever and forget my power and forget all that had happened.

"Feeling better?" I felt his chest rumble as his voice floated over me.

Realizing I was projecting my contentment and attraction through our skin to skin contact, I tried to roll away. His hands grasped onto me harder, holding onto my hips, fingers dancing above the lacey seem of my underwear. Realizing my state of undress, I turned the color of a tomato and tried to move away again. I heard him chuckle and his metal hand moved to my chin drawing my gaze to his.

"Hey. It's okay. You don't have to be ashamed of your powers around me. Or your lack of clothes," he winked and I almost died then and there. I pushed against his chest pulling myself back some; he let me, gaze ever watching.

"I am supposed to be pissed at you, mister." I pointed out to both of us trying to be logical, instead of turned on by his presence.

"You have every right to be," He tried to catch my gaze again, but I knew that if I looked at his eyes, the perfect mix of a calm sea and a raging storm, that I'd be a goner. I shoved against his chest harder escaping the hands that I so desperately wanted to stay in. He let me move away from him completely and I sat, dangling my blistered feet over the edge of the bed, back facing him.

"I do. Have every right, that is…. I-I had a dream… I think it was a memory of when uh- when I was imprisoned." My voice trailed off and I tried to run my hand through my tangled hair.

"Did we play a game? Two truths and a lie?" He questioned his voice closer behind me. I turned and quirked a brow at him.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"I had the same dream."

"What?" I turned more fully towards him, he was sitting up and his eyebrows were knitted together as he thought about his dream.

"Yeah, it was… weird. It was from your point of view…. As if I was you going through all that."

"I-um. I guess that since we.. our skin was touching as we slept, I must have transferred my dream to you. Do you remember that incident?"

"Bits and pieces. They- they zapped me pretty badly after you got out. Some things are foggy and some things are clear as day. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for a while now, some memories have been recovered, some haven't. But every time I touch you, I feel comforted. I remember how I felt as I got to know you. Back then, you were the only kind thing in my life. The only person who tried to see me as a human. My only _friend_ since Steve. And now, now that I've gotten to know you more as a woman, I want to keep knowing you… but only if you want that. I know it's messed up that we didn't tell you about our history. I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness for being a monster and for causing you pain. If you say so, I'll never talk to you again," He had grabbed both my hands causing me to face him completely again, his eyes earnest and desperate, "But, god I hope you don't turn me away because you were the first step towards me being human again, and I can't get enough of you."

My mouth open and shut several times. That was the most Bucky had ever said to me in one sitting and boy was it a lot to process. But one thing was clear in my heart, I knew he meant what he said. He was sorry and he did care about me.

I lunged forward placing my lips against his, my arms wrapping around his sturdy neck. His lips were still at first, probably in shock. But suddenly, his lips moved against mine, heat pooled in my belly as he responded. He pulled me against him and my legs straddled his lap. Everything was on fire. He deepened the kiss. My fingers moved into his soft hair and I pulled. He groaned into the kiss, one hand moving to my neck and the other grasping onto my ass. This kiss was going to kill me.

His tongue fought mine for dominance and I willingly gave in. Out of sheer need and desire for the man I was sitting astride, I started grinding into him. He responded by ripping his lips from mine and placing them on my neck. I moaned loudly and would have been embarrassed if I had given a fuck at that moment. I could feel how turned on he was and I was addicted to the way he made me feel, but he needed to know we at some point needed to discuss things further.

"Bucky- mmm- I forgive you- holy hell- but I-I still have some- ahh fuck- questions," I tried to get words out but the things his mouth was doing to my neck and ear were simply sinful. He laughed against my neck and pulled away quirking a brow. My eyes connected with his and I stilled in his lap.

"That didn't mean stop," I stated as I brought our lips back together. He nibbled on my bottom lip and pulled away again. I groaned in disappointment. He chuckled again and ran his hands through my hair.

"Trust me, I don't want to stop. The things I want to do to you-" I rocked in his lap teasingly, hoping to encourage him. He groaned and grabbed my hips, stilling my movement. "But- but I don't want it to happen like this- in some nasty motel bed, when you're all scuffed up and hurting. Plus, you should process all of this first, make sure that you are sure."

I kissed him softly and pulled away, " but what if I don't want to process, what if I just want to have you."

"August McKay, I want to fuck you so bad, but you heard me- I want to make sure that you are sure. Now quit squirming in my lap and trying to get me to change my mind," I glared at him, feeling slightly rejected, but then he kissed my nose and gave my ass a gentle smack. I yelped and gave him a amused, but shocked look.

"Get up, let's get you clean and healthy. I'll go start the shower."

I slowly moved my body off of his and stood up. Taking stock of myself, Bucky was right, I was dirty, and scrapped up. I needed coffee, I needed pain meds, and I needed a shower desperately. I just wish he would get in the shower with me.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: I'm backkkkkkkk. It has been so long, but after seeing Infinity Wars, I was inspired to come back and revisit this story. Anyways, here I am. Enjoy my loves.

I could have drowned in the shower, on purpose, in full ecstasy. The steam cleared my head, dirt and blood drained away, and the heat worked life into my sore body. And on top of all this I couldn't stop thinking about a certain man and his heated stares. I refused to acknowledge what had sent me flying from the Avenger's facility in the first place. There would be time to sort those feelings out- feelings of hurt, confusion, depression.

As I turned off the water and reached for the rough motel towel, my ears were greeted with silence. Which is not all that surprising considering who my company was. I rung out my hair and patted down my sore body, then secured the small towel over my naughty bits.

I stepped in the humid motel room and saw that Bucky was no where to be found. Instead I found a neatly folded pile of clothes and small note with the scribbled word- _coffee_.

I unfolded the clothes and found my black leggings and an old over sized tank top that said in scrawled cursive "Abs are great but have you had donuts?"

I smiled thinking about Bucky picking out this shirt. Then I found one of my black, lacy bralettes. A blush rose up to my face. Naughty thoughts raced into my mind. I shook my head and I changed slowly, taking my time. I looked at the note again while braiding my wet hair, and suddenly a memory flashed into my mind.

" _Solider? A-are you okay?" my voiced squeaked taking in his wide, tense frame, and the cut on his face dripping blood onto the white floor._

 _He didn't respond, but his eyes were blazing. Black makeup was smudged all around his eyes highlighting the stark blue. I slowly approached him, my hands raised. He stiffened noticeably._

" _Hey- it's me. You're bleeding. What happened?" my voice was a quiet whisper. He looked so lost in that moment._

" _Brooklyn."_

" _What about Brooklyn? Did they send you there?" I finally was close enough that we were almost chest to chest. He looked down at me. His jaw was tense and I slowly reached up and wiped the blood off his cheek. He grabbed my wrist looking at the blood on my clean hands. I could feel so much confusion and pain. I gasped at the amount of emotion he was feeling._

" _I think I am from Brooklyn," he whispered almost to himself. My eyes snapped to his and I pulled back a little surprised._

" _I thought you were from Russia or something."_

 _He hummed and his thumb rubbed over my pulse point._

" _You aren't scared."_

" _No, I am not. I know you don't want to hurt me. Have you told them?"_

 _He knew who I was talking about. The doctors, Rumlow, whoever else was responsible for the pain we were both in. My anger spiked and I heard him growl. Literally growl._

" _No."_

" _They are going to ask you for a report and then I'll lose you again." He lifted my hand with the offending blood to his face. He quickly sucked the blood off of my thumb as if it was the most normal thing in the entire world. My knees buckled with a spike of lust. This was the most sexual thing I had experienced in my young years. He arched a brow at me and let go. He knew what I was feeling, but he also knew my age and even after all he had been through, he was a gentleman… when he could be at least._

" _You always bring me back," he pulled on my braid affectionately._

" _I don't want to have to bring you back. What they do to you- it's barbaric and I can't keep watching them do that."_

" _What about what they do to you?" he snapped suddenly angry._

" _I can manage. Plus, they can't kill me. They need me." I stated as matter of factly as was possible._

" _But they hurt you."_

" _You need to calm down. Do they even know you are in here?" My eyes flicked nervously at the door._

" _I am supposed to be at mission report."_

" _so, no?"_

 _He reached out for me again, but we heard shuffling in the hall and the sound of voices- He quickly grabbed my hand and slipped something into my palm. I opened my mouth to reply._

" _Shh."_

 _With that he left. I looked down in my hand and saw a small crumpled piece of paper and on it the words- be ready._

I sat on the bed, my mind whirling.

"You okay?" I looked up and saw his frame leaning against the door. He had coffee in hand and a small bag. I smiled at him and quirked an eyebrow.

"What's in the bag?"

"You are deflecting."

"Um aren't I the one with the psychology degree?" I walked over and reached for the bag. He held it above my head. I crossed my arms and hmmphed and glared.

"That's not fair Bucky Barnes and ya know it," he smiled wickedly and did not move.

"Don't think I won't climb you like a tree, mister." I poked my finger into his chest and tried to look intimidating. His smiled got even bigger.

"Is that a promise?" he leered.

"Ugh. Men." I jumped trying to reach and missing.

"I'll give you a hint- your shirt inspired this purchase." I jumped up again touching the edge of the bag.

"DONUTS? Yum! Now gimme."

"Nope, not until you tell me what was going on when I walked in."

I crossed my arms again. The nerve- I would tell him when I was good and ready. I decided to change my tactic. My fingertips brushed against his t-shirt clothed chest. His eyebrow raised a fraction. I gave him a sultry look and pouted. I ran my fingers more firmly down his stomach, over the plane of his rock hard abs. His look became more heated-

"If you think you are going to seduce your way-"

I cut him off saying-" Oh, that's not my plan," and suddenly I began tickling him with everything I had. He yelped and moved away, but I pursued my target. I backed him against the wall and he tried not to spill the coffee. A couple of laughs came out which caused me to laugh.

"Surrender the donuts!" I exclaimed with glee. His laughs were becoming hard to contain and with his hands full, there was little he could do. The bag dropped to the ground and he laughed saying, "Have mercy. I give up." I leaned forward, unable to help myself and kissed his nose. Then, I grabbed the bag and pulled out my sweet reward.

The delicious treat was very much welcomed by ravenous stomach and I licked the icing off of my fingers. Looking over at Bucky, he watched with a predatory gleam in his eye.

"You know, this is so weird," I stated.

"What? Us?"

"Well, yeah kind of, but that was not what I was referring to."

"What then?"

"Well, these donuts are delicious, don't get me wrong, but for the first time ever, I think abs are, in fact, better," I winked at him and then waggled my eyebrows. His abs were definitely better than these donuts, and these donuts were damn tasty.

"I know we need to go back, but it's going to be awkward," I grumbled as he put a helmet on my head. His fingers brushed my chin as he buckled the strap in place.

"You're nervous." He knew because I was bad at controlling my power around him. It was so easy being transparent with him. I nodded.

"Don't be."

"Well, golly gee, thanks. That solves everything."

He shrugged in reply and sat on his bike. A moment of silence went by and I realized he was waiting for me. I sighed heavily, threw one leg over and straddled the bike.

"How'd you get here any ways?" I asked. He reached back grabbing onto my arm and pulling my body up against the back of his. A blush started to form at the intimacy of the situation.

"Steve dropped me off. He wanted to come in, but I told him this was my fault, my situation to deal with. Now hold on," he revved the engine. I wrapped my arms around him more fully. I laid my cheek against his back. I still had so many questions, still had some anger, but I knew that Bucky taking me was not his fault. And that would have to be enough for now.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: And on with the next chapter. Some steamy tidbits ahead. Please review! I love hearing y'alls' feedback.**

It had been a week since she had come back to the Avenger's facility and honestly, it had not been easy. The more time we spent with each other, the more memories surfaced and not all of those memories were great. I could also tell that she felt overwhelmed by everyone else. She refused to initiate any kind of touch with others. She said she didn't want to know what others were feeling when she wasn't even sure what _she_ was feeling. Everyone was always checking in on her, apologizing, hovering. Including me, but it was hard for me to distance myself from August, even when she was yelling at me. _Especially_ when she was yelling at me to be honest. Like right now. She was so fucking adorable.

"Are you even listening? I swear to God Almighty that if you don't get that damn smirk off of your face, I am gonna scream. If one more person gives me a sad pathetic look or sends pity my way, there will be hell to pay!" Her voice was getting shriller and her curls were bouncing as she stomped her feet like a little girl. I could not help my full blown smile and as promised she let out an angry, frustrated scream. I reached for her elbow, but she yanked her arm away.

"The last thing we need is you getting angry too. Plus, you are part of the problem." She glared.

Her room door opened and Steve rushed in quickly looking around the room.

"Everything okay?" he questioned. August spun towards him, her blue sun dress swooshing around her legs.

"No Captain, everything is not okay. I am sick and tired of people treating me like I am glass. Yes, I was shot, yes I was kidnapped when I was sixteen, yes all of you are a bunch of liars, and yes, I AM OKAY!" The room felt tense and anger seeped into the atmosphere. I felt mild annoyance bubble up in my gut. August needed to calm down.

Steve put his hands up in surrender and said, "I am sorry-"

"UGH. I cannot. I need some space." She shoved past Steve who gave me a helpless look. I patted him on the shoulder as I followed her out of her room.

August went straight to the kitchen. I swerved and headed towards the couch. I laid down, hands behind my head, stretched out. I could still see her in the kitchen, but she seemed to pay me no attention as she slammed the flour container on the counter. I knew she needed time to think things out; I could relate to that.

"FRIDAY, play "Gus's Baking Mix."

"I Want You Back" started to play loudly. August had shared this play list with me before the graduation incident. It featured her favorite oldies that her dad used to play when she was younger. That was one of the few times she had mentioned her father. I grabbed the hidden gun under the couch and began breaking it down while she slammed the sugar container on the counter.

"Better not slam those eggs, Gus." I reminded her. She continued to ignore my presence.

Steve strolled in rubbing his neck like he always does when he feels nervous or uncomfortable. He pushed my legs off the end of the couch and parked it next to me. I gave him a look, but he seemed undeterred.

"So Gus is angry baking, I gather?" he asked looking over his shoulder at Gus who was putting her hair into a huge bun on the top of her head and putting on an apron that Tony had gotten her that says _Will Bake for Wine_. I nodded at my friend, now cleaning the gun.

"Well whatever works, I guess. I wish Bruce was here. He could probably at least relate with the anger thing."

"He is still missing?" I questioned. We exchanged looks. The kitchen aid mixer began to whirl. Suddenly a weight settled on my lap. I tensed, but immediately relaxed, seeing August's cat. I rubber behind his ear and he purred. The black and white cat started to "make biscuits" as August affectionately calls it. I wonder briefly if this is what it feels like to be normal. Hanging out with the people you love, cooking, listening to music while snuggling with a pet. And a gun. And a metal arm. My thoughts were interrupted-

"So who pissed off short and feisty now?" came Tony's voice.

"How do you know she is angry?" Steve inquired.

"Well my darling bald eagle, Ms. McKay is throwing things around the kitchen, listening to oldies, but not signing, off tune I might add, and has not thrown any sultry looks at the tuna can man at all- so obvi she is totes mad."

I did not know about totes, but he was right. She normally sings when listening to her music. And August McKay may be good at a lot of things, but singing was definitely not one of those things. But she did not seem to care. And sometimes she would start dancing if she was in an especially good mood. I sighed. I wish there was more I could do to help her with her anger.

Tony, bravely waltzed into the kitchen area. Since we had returned from the motel, Tony had been the only one not to truly face August's wrath. In fact, she had sought him out, choosing to talk to him. He opened up to her about the truth concerning his parents and how he came to terms with me in his life. Things were still dicey between the two of us, but we managed.

Tony lifted himself up to sit on the counter near her. Jealousy spiked through me. The cat nuzzled into my chest and I begrudgingly pet him.

"Whatcha making Martha Stewart?"

She looked at him and mumbled. He shook his finger and tsked.

"Nope. Use your words."

"Um okay. _Fuck. You_. Better? "

"Language," Steve rang out. I smiled bigger than I should have.

Tony laughed and patted August on the top of her head.

"You'd like that wouldn't you my dear? Anyways, it's going to take more than that to get rid of me." He grinned down at her.

"So I have an idea, an idea that I think will cheer you up." She continued to chop fruit.

"What if we have … drum roll please….. a pool party!" She suddenly stopped chopping.

"A pool party? Who would we invite? All the people who are treating me like a porcelain doll or all the people who keep apologizing to me?" She rolled her eyes and chopped louder. Tony swiftly pulled the knife from her hand and turned her by her shoulders.

"Okay, listen, all these people care about you. That's why they are hovering like helicopter parents. If you want them to get back to the way things were, we need to do something fun that takes your mind and their minds off of all that sad and bad stuff. That's were the pool party comes in: booze, grilling out, shenanigans equals diversion. Got it? What do you think?"

Cap and I looked anxiously. Her shoulders slumped and she hugged Stark around the middle abruptly. She said something that was muffled by Stark's chest and Stark beamed.

"Pool Party it is!"

* * *

"Okay, so this swimsuit or the first one?" I asked turning left and right in front of the mirror. Natasha was sitting cross legged on my bed flipping through one of my trashy magazines. She looked up at me and made a noise. I turned to face her.

"Why are you literally showing me the most grandma swim suits that you own?"

"Okay first of all these are my tasteful camp counselor swim suits from back in the day. Second of all what's wrong with a one piece?"

"Oh nothing is wrong with a one piece. In fact, there are some super sexy one pieces out there, but what I am trying to get at is _why_ you are choosing _these_ bathing suits."

"Quit psychoanalyzing me. That's my job."

"I'm right though."

"okay, yes, I am worried that I'm being too immodest for Bucky and Steve. They are from a different era you know. I just don't want to start waves-"

Nat got up and threw the magazine on bed.

"Look if you're truly uncomfortable then yeah wear the first one. But, I think you should wear the red one that you are clearly hiding in the back of the closet. I promise you, no one is going to think you're slutty or whatever it is you are scared about. You have a great body and you should be proud of it."

"A great body? I am pudgy and short." Nat shoved me in the shoulder and went into the closet to grab the swim suit.

"Don't make me kick your ass. You are curvy. And short. Which makes you the perfect combination of sexy and cute. Now, try this one on."

* * *

I couldn't help but fiddle with the ruffle on my swim suit. I had opted for the red one- Nat could be super persuading. It was a two piece- the top crisscrossed in the back, and there was a cute ruffle going around the top dipping down at my cleavage; the bottom was a high waisted rouched number that made my ass look great according to Natasha.

"For you my dear," Sam handed me a mojito. I smiled thankful for the liquid courage. Bucky had not arrived yet, but I couldn't help but be antsy.

"Drink up, Gus! Cheers to friendship." I clinked my glass to his.

"Sam, do you know what Tony and Cap are cooking up?"

"I think burgers. I heard you made potato salad," he elbowed me with a smile.

"Oh yeah, gotta bring something. I'm all about being a polite guest," I winked back at him. He looked extremely handsome, rocking some patriotic board shorts. The sun gleamed on his skin and his smile was charming. _In another life_ I thought to myself.

Suddenly I heard a yelled, "Kowabunga!" and water splashed my legs. I jumped back surprised and bumped into a hard chest.

Hands grabbed my hips steadying me. I looked back and was met with intense blue eyes. Intense blue eyes that scanned down my shoulder and over the front of my body. I felt my cheeks turn red as Bucky's breath hit the back of my neck.

"You put any sunscreen on?" He asked taking a small sip from my straw. I gulped transfixed with his lips. I shook my head no. Ugh- how could he affect me so much?

"Ms. McKay! Sorry I got you wet! You look-wow! I mean- yeah, how are you?" Peter was wading in the pool, clearly having been the one who cannonballed into the pool. Thankful for the distraction, I replied.

"Hey Peter! I didn't know you were coming. I'm good. All healed up, just some PT, " Bucky was moving behind me tugging me away from Peter.

"Uh-gotta go be right back Pete!"

"Buck, no need to be rude!" I reprimanded. He pulled me over to the edge of the party and sat me down on a lounge chair. I still hadn't gotten a good look at him. He kept my back to him and I heard him open something. Seeing the lotion in his human hand, I shivered in anticipation and took a large gulp of my drink.

"You're going to burn, your cheeks are already rosy," I jerked as the cold lotion touched my hot skin, choosing to keep the truth about my blush to myself. Goosebumps broke out on my skin as he massaged my neck and shoulders. He was trying to kill me. I could feel his desire and a sense of confidence through my powerful skin. This fucker _knew_ exactly what he was doing. Well two could play at this game.

I thought some pretty lustful thoughts, images flasing in my mind's eye and allowed that emotion to head his way. Then I wrapped one of my arms around myself, making my cleavage more prominent. I heard him make a low hum in the back of his throat. I took another sip as he finished rubbing me down. Feeling brave, I turned around and stood facing him. His eyes burned holes in my body.

I took the bottle of lotion out of his hands and pushed down on his shoulders.

"Your turn."

He did not have a shirt on. His abs rippled as he sat down.

"Yes ma'am."

I gulped suddenly, a little overwhelmed. I could see the scar tissue around his metal arm. I could feel his heavy eyes watching my every move. I took one more big gulp of my drink finishing it off, put it down with a clang, and rubbed the lotion into his shoulders. I bravely leaned down and put a chaste kiss where the metal met his skin. He shivered and I suddenly felt powerful. I leaned so my chest was closer to his face and made sure I did not leave any white streaks on his skin. I could feel his hot breath on my body. I pulled away suddenly wanting to see his eyes. Man, I wanted him.

We made eye contact and a rush of emotions flowed over our physical connection.

"You're happy, content," I whispered in awe. He leaned forward, his lip brushing my ear. His hair brushing over my shoulder.

"That's not all I am feeling," a gasp left my mouth and my desire became almost palpable. He reached up and tucked a curl behind my ear.

"You look delicious," he rasped out. His hands moved to my waist, but before anything else could happen, someone cleared their throat behind us. My face lit up like Rudolph's nose and I peeked over my shoulder.

Captain America stood there blushing almost as much as I was. He had a beer and a mojito in hand. I gave him a sheepish look, but Bucky refused to take his hands off of me.

"Brought you guys this- thought you may need to cool down," He grinned surprising me with a bold grin.

I stood and so did Bucky. I gladly took the drink, sipping it down.

"Give us a break Stevie. Just taking care of my gal," Bucky stated. My heart skipped a beat. My gal? Since when? Steve didn't seem surprised or phased. Panic and joy erupted in my gut. I opened my mouth and all that came out was a squeak. Both men looked at me with bemused looks.

"Well look at that Buck, she's speechless."

"Maybe she just needs to cool down like you said? Too damn _hot_ out here," He fixed me with an intense and a down right wicked smile. He started approaching me like a predator hunts its prey. I felt Steve reach over and pluck my glass out of my hand and I immediately realized their plan. I backed up and shrieked. People looked over our way as scrambled around Steve and darted towards Sam. I barely made it behind him.

"Oh no baby girl, I can't save you," Sam laughed as Bucky reached behind him and easily picked me up into his arms.

"Put me down ya brute! I swear to God-"My yelling was cut off when Bucky jumped with me in his arms into the pool. I disentangled myself from his grasp and swam to the surface sputtering.

"How's the water peaches?" Tony called from the grill.

"It's fu-" I stopped myself and swam over to Peter placing my hands over his ears.

"It's fucking cold Tony Stark!"

"I can still hear you-"

"Oh shut it Peter!" I splashed water at the kid. He splashed water back at me and so the water fight ensued.

"Buckyyyyy help! I am being attacked!" I shouted over my shoulder. He didn't respond but loud splashes met my ears as Steve, Clint, and Sam all jumped in. A small tidal wave splashed both Peter and I in the face.

I laughed with glee as it turned into an all out water splashing brawl, my pain and confusion forgotten.

* * *

My whole life had culminated to this moment- my moment to take down Steve Rogers and the Black Widow herself in a game of chicken. With Bucky underneath me, and the fact that Nat admitted she was tipsy, there was no way I could fail. My super solider against hers.

My hands were holding hers, pushing and twisting, hoping to gain the upper hand, trying to inconspicuously use my power.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, it seems that the Black Widow may in fact be tipsy! Lightning McKay seems to be holding her own- Oh and she strikes with the tickling move! Low Blow!" Tony commentated loudly as Peter cackled and Clint and Sam coached from the side.

Bucky and Steve seemed to be, wisely, holding back. Nat was trying to dislodge my tickling fingers and I sent excitement at her.

"No cheating! You can't use your powers!" She exclaimed. I laughed ever harder.

Bucky's hands gripped my thighs and was having a casual conversation with Steve. I squeezed my thighs around his neck and said, "Hey! Take this seriously! Loser has to take two tequila shots!"

"Mr. Stark, do you think I could try tequila?" Peter inquired innocently.

"Kid. No."

"I am positive Mr. Stark that you had alcohol under age! Come on! Aunt May doesn't even have to know."

Tony shoved Peter's back knocking him into the water. Bucky did not react to Peter and Tony's ridiculousness, but instead commented, "You do know that, you are drunk and you have not be effective at all, right?"

I paused. Nat paused. The boys paused. And then, as if on cue Nat and I burst out into giggles. I started laughing so hard that I tipped backwards.

"what the hell?" Bucky muttered using his momentum and body to jerk me back up right.

Clint was yelling at Nat to get her head in the game and Nat turned her sights on me. She grabbed my wrists and used my body weight to balance herself, choosing to move to a standing position. For someone allegedly tipsy, this girl had poise! I started laughing harder and pulling down hoping to knock her off. She remained steadfast and gave me a wicked grin.

"Um Bucky-" before I could point out that I thought Natasha was about to do something super evil and badass, she did something super evil and badass.

Nat, with the grace of a swan dove hands and head first over the back of Bucky and I, flipping around. She did not let go of my wrists and used her momentum to pull me backwards with her. In the blink of an eye, we both hit the water- Nat with a grin and me with a yelp falling backwards on my back like a whale. Bucky knew better than to hold on.

"Foul on the play! Foul on the play! Technically your girl hit the water first, so by default we win!" Sam declared standing up ready to argue.

Bucky collected me into his arms subtlety checking over me to make sure I was okay as I spit water into his face. With a glare, he dunked me back under the water as punishment.

"To make it fair, Nat you take one shot and Gus you take one shots" He handed both a shot to Bucky and me; I grabbed a juicy looking lime slice. Tony passed out a shot to everyone except Peter who pouted adorably.

"So remember, you old grandpas, first lick the salt, then take the shot, and then suck the lime," Clint reminded Buck and Steve.

Tony holding his own shot glass stated, "To friends, good laughs, and girl fights!"

I clinked my glass with Bucky's but he did not make eye contact.

"Hey! We have to make eye contact or we will be cursed with bad sex! That's a thing!" I declared drunkenly. He smirked and pulled me close.

"We would not want that would we?" he clinked my glass again and made eye contact that burned into my soul. We both then licked the salt and took the shot. We only had one lime between us, which I was holding, so I bit into it and then held it out to the man who was holding me.

Without breaking eye contact he sucked on the lime his lips and teeth brushing against my fingertips. A shiver rolled up my back. I wanted him so badly.

Pretty soon after our chicken fight, people started to disperse. Tony had to get Peter home, Nat and Clint wanted to go and practice fighting while inebriated, Sam said he had plans, and Steve had randomly (and conveniently ) disappeared.

Bucky and I were the only two who remained in the pool. He had his arms around me and I had my legs around his waist. The water was making me feel weightless and the alcohol was making me feel brave. I was twisting Bucky's hair into little braids, giggling at the tough assassin who was rocking his new hair style.

The whole time he patiently stayed still and quiet, just watching me with those stormy blue eyes.

"You have more freckles," he commented as I braided a small section.

"That happens when I get sun," I replied quietly.

"I always remembered your freckles."

"Really? I used to hate them."

"I love them. Sometimes… my thoughts get so confusing and I forget where I am and what I am doing… and I just think about your face or look at your freckles and… it- it helps."

I cocked my head at him thoughtfully.

"Buck, I want to apologize." My hands stopped moving. He stared confused by my transition.

"I realize that I said some hurtful things when I found out the truth and I realize that I have been a complete moody bitch the past week, and I am sorry. You aren't a monster. You are anything but a monster and just like my freckles bring you back, your eyes, your presence bring me back."

Bucky paused, taking in all that I had said. Ever so gently, without breaking eye contact, he leaned forward and claimed my lips. I sighed into the kiss, moving my arms around his neck.

It was such a sweet kiss and I could feel his emotions flowing through my skin. Tears pricked my eyes from the exchange.

Suddenly, Bucky deepened the kiss threading his hand through my hair. I could feel him walking through the water, heading towards the water fall feature of the pool.

He walked us right under the water fall, soaking us. As I gasped, he took advantage of my open mouth and kissed me deeply. His tongue dominated mine and I could feel a sense of urgency pulse between us. His hands moved to cup my ass, his fingertips running over the top of my bathing suit bottoms.

He pulled his lips from mine and I groaned missing his presence already. He kissed my freckles and then lifted my ( prune-y) fingertips to his mouth. He kissed and nipped each one, causing lust to pool in my lower half. I wanted more. I always wanted more with him.

I pulled on his hair bringing his lips back to mine, being a little rough. He growled and refused to be controlled. Instead of kissing my lips, he began to kiss and suck at my neck. I moaned, overwhelmed completely. His body pressed more tightly against me and suddenly our lower halves were aligned. I could feel him against my core, hard and heavy. He ground into me, making me gasp. His hands left my ass and moved to my chest.

He looked at me, making sure I was okay with where his hands were headed. I nodded and moaned again as he cupped each breast. Due to the water, the thinness of my swim suit, and Bucky, my nipples were rock hard. He lowered his head and put his mouth on the fabric. I squealed, bucking up, rubbing myself against him.

"Doll, I love these sounds you are making, but we are going to get caught," he stated his voice deeper and huskier than before. I scratched my nails down his chest and looked at him lustfully.

"Who cares? I want you so bad."

He nipped at my clothed nipple again and then pulled back, hands stroking my neck and scalp.

"I don't want my first time with you to be in a pool where anyone can see us. I want to take my time with you, explore you, taste you. I don't share," he said in a heavy whisper.

My insides clenched and I kissed him passionately pushing my chest against his. He pushed me back and grinned broadly,

"That's not going to work on me little girl," I pouted in reply and kissed his nose.

"I guess you right- we have time. We don't need to rush," I came down from my lust filled, boozy high and realized I was not quite ready to be fucked under a water fall in public. _Gotta save that one for later_ I thought.

He pulled me off the wall, making my body rub against his- he groaned again and then laughed.

"Come on, let's get dried off, calm down, and get you to bed."

He moved out of the pool lifting me in his arms as if I weighed nothing. I sighed. _I could get used to this._

A/N: Well, what do you think? I had fun writing this chapter. I will say some of this was based off of personal experiences and preferences, so I really loved developing this chapter and the tension between the characters.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Thank you for those of you who reviewed. I love getting feedback. I am glad you all appreciate my character and writing style. It is honestly fun to write all of these things.

To say I was sexually frustrated was an understatement. It was putting me on edge, literally and figuratively. Bucky wanted to take things slow- partly because he said he wanted to savor every moment and partly because a stupid drunken comment that I had made when he tucked me in after the pool party.

" _Buckyyyyy, don't leave. I can be the little spoon or the big spoon- I don't discriminate," I begged tugging on his metal arm. He smiled and kissed my eyebrow._

" _I don't trust you to keep your hands to yourself," he commented._

" _But do you really want me to? Hiccup" I giggled and hiccupped again, then sitting up the oversized t-shirt sliding down my shoulder. He grinned wider and ruffled my hair._

" _That's the problem. I want to completely ravish you. But you're drunk, doll. I want you to remember every second," His voice sounded gravely as he kissed the exposed skin of my shoulder._

 _I groaned and reached up to tug on his hair. Then I flopped back onto the bed in a huff, frustrated. I could feel my emotions changing within me. I tried not to take it personal; he wasn't rejecting me. The room was spinning more than I wanted to let on._

" _So dramatic," he rolled his eyes and went to stand._

" _Are you sure you even like me?" I quietly muttered as refused to look at him_

" _Are you serious?" He moved his hand towards me._

 _I slapped his hand away. Sitting up on my elbows so my head was off the bed, I drunkenly rambled,_

" _No don't touch me. What if all of this is my skin? What if you only feel this way because I want you to feel this way? How do you know you even like me? I could just be projecting all of this onto you-" His metal fingers tugged my chin towards him._

" _Hey, look at me. I know what I feel. You aren't projecting- if anything you're highlighting what I feel. I more than like you, okay? Plus, if this was all you, we would be having sex right now because that is what you are feeling."_

 _He was gently scratching my scalp and looking at me with his deep eyes. I sighed._

" _I just want to make sure." I said in a small voice._

" _I am going to make sure you know that I am sure. I want you. I want you enough to wait. Now get some sleep little girl."_

Now Bucky had taken it upon himself to prove to me his feelings were his own. This meant caresses and kisses above my clothes. Less skin to skin contact. Although, I knew deep down that my drunken confession was something I was secretly concerned about, it didn't change the fact that my body was trying to override my brain.

"Hey, you going to stare at the same page all day?" Steve quipped.

I looked down at the book in my hands and then back at Steve. He smirked and I knew I had been caught.

"I'm a little distracted," I commented.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Trust me, you don't want me to talk to you about it."

"Is it about Buck?" he moved to sit across from me and took the book from my hands.

"What do you think?" I rolled my eyes. He chuckled flipping through the pages.

Changing the subject he asked, "So what movie are we watching tonight?"

I blinked at him confused," Huh?"

"Bucky said we were having a movie night… right?"

"Yeah… yeah, but I thought-" I suddenly realized something and stopped in the middle of my sentence becoming incoherent. I slammed my palms down on the table and stood.

"Oh. My. God. Shut the front door!" I exclaimed. Steve looked downright confused and stood as well looking around for a threat.

"You! He! I cannot believe! Ugh!" I sputtered out as I paced back and forth. Steve continued to look at me as if I was crazy.

"Gus, what's going on?" He questioned causing me to turn.

"You! You are a cock block Steve Rogers! Fucking Bucky!" I shoved my finger into his chest to emphasize my point. Steve's mouth dropped open, then closed, then opened again.

"I'm not doing anything with Bucky- I'm not doing anything with anyone's coc-"

"No you walking fossil! I am not saying that you're fucking Bucky… oh my god that surprisingly turns me on- I mean- uhhhh- I am trying to say that Bucky invited you to the movie night to keep me and Bucky from getting too hot and heavy. Thus you are a cock block!"

Steve was a lovely shade of red and his face changed expressions multiple times throughout my little speech.

"You think… you are turned on by the idea of Bucky and me?" He questioned in a high pitched tight voice.

I couldn't help it. I bust out laughing, bending over at the waist. Tears came to my eyes and I tried to control myself.

"That's all you got from what I said?" I questioned between laughs.

Steve was even redder, scratching the back of his head looking bashful.

"Too much fun is being had without me! I demand to know what is so funny?" Tony's voice came sauntering into the room. My side was hurting so much from laughing.

Steve opened his mouth again and again trying to formulate some kind of response. Tony placed his hands on his hips waiting.

Pulling myself together I answered, "Just talking about how hot it would be if Rogers and the Winter Solider hooked up."

Not missing a beat Tony said, "They aren't screwing each other?"

Laughing again, I tried to sit down, but missed the edge of my chair causing me to immediately fall on my ass. This klutzy move caused Tony to burst out laughing and sweet Steve tried to see if I was okay. I shoed him away and kept laughing.

"Okay, okay, enough picking on me. Bucky and I are just friends. And I didn't know I was being used as a… cock block, Gus, you've got to believe me."

"What? Steve Rogers, the symbol of freedom, patriotism, and America is being used as a cock block?" Tony asked in a mockingly shocked voice. My giggle fit continued as a laid on the floor.

"What's going on in here? And why is August on the floor?" came Bucky's voice from the door way. I stopped laughing and rolled over onto my stomach. I pulled my skirt down to make sure I wasn't flashing anyone and then propped my chin on my palm trying to look innocent.

"Nothing, nada, not a thing is going on," I declared biting on my lip to keep my smile under wraps.

"Now August, I know you've been taught better than to lie- We must reveal the truth to our darling Winter Solider. The truth is-" Tony was cut off by Steve shoving him.

"The truth is we are excited for movie night," Steve countered glaring at Tony.

Tony shoved Steve back, "We were talking about fucking, actually."

I saw Bucky's eye brows rise, but other than that he kept a blank face. I giggled again, unable to help myself.

Steve face palmed and groaned.

"Who's fucking?" Bucky questioned. _Not us_ I thought annoyed blowing a strand of hair out of my face.

"Oh you know, on those cold nights back in the military, I'm sure it started out as just comforting each other-"

"Shut up Tony," Steve whacked Tony again. Bucky observed everyone trying to discern the situation. Tony moved away from Steve hands held up in surrender.

"Hey, no judgment man. You and Bucky can do what you want. Peace and love for all," Tony started to run as I started soundlessly laughing. Bucky grinned realizing what was going on. I waited to see how he would respond.

"You told them, Stevie?" He questioned. My mouth dropped and Tony froze. Steve looking flabbergasted, muttered a loud huh. Bucky threw me a wink and my grin grew widely on my face.

"Come on Steve, that night meant so much to me, no reason to be ashamed." Bucky blew Steve a kiss while he donned a shit-eating grin on his face clearly loving the opportunity to pick on Steve.

"What?! No, I mean..ugh I hate y'all." Steve sat resigned realizing that he wasn't going to win with all of us teamed- up on him.

Bucky stomped over to me, grabbed by the hips and lifted me up into his arms.

"I'll give you something to laugh about." He began to tickle me and I yelped and shifted.

"Stop! Ah! HAHAHA. No, put me down!" I beat on his chest trying to get him to stop.

He readjusted his grip and threw me over his shoulder causing my skirt to fly up.

"JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES! PUT ME DOWN! I'M FLASHING EVERYONE!" I screeched.

"It's nothing they haven't seen before, doll." He smacked my ass and kept walking.

"Is that spiderman? Oh I gotta tell Peter, he is already smitten with Gus. He'll die on the spot when he finds out that she wears underwear with his symbol on them!"

* * *

I was cocooned up in so many blankets and limbs. I was warm and cozy and had zero complaints except for one- my left foot was uncovered, cold, and vulnerable to attack. Attack from the boogie monster or Steve Rogers.

I tried to ignore my poor foot and pay attention to the movie, but Steve kept brushing his fingers against the sole of my foot making me twitch and squirm. I glared at him and huffed.

Bucky's grip on me tightened and he grumbled, "Quit squirming."

"It's Steve's fault," I whined like a baby kicking at him.

"Hey no kicking!" Bucky commanded and I glared up at him. I could hear Steve chuckle under his breath and I realized this was his pay back for earlier.

"Steve, just move the blanket over my foot, please? It's so cold."

"The blankets don't reach that far. They are all wrapped around you." He flicked my big toe smiling at me.

"That's it! This is war." And with that I unleashed my secret weapon. I titled my foot so that my toes were laying on the fleshy part of Steve's thigh and twisted my toes.

"Ouch! Did you just pinch me? With your toes?" He asked aghast. I snickered and reached again. He swatted my foot away from his sensitive skin.

"Can y'all not? I am actually trying to watch this movie." Bucky grumbled moving his hands into my hair and tugging.

"You invited him," I stated and then mumbled, "Cock-block."

Bucky looked down at me in bewilderment. He must've heard me. I shrugged and readjusted. I finally settled myself with my left foot under Steve's leg, now warm and cozy and my back and head propped against Bucky's chest.

Bucky played with my hair and scratched my scalp while we continued to watch. Steve held my blanket covered right foot in his hand and I sunk into warm bliss.

This was the life. Fuzzy blankets, a good movie, a huge sectional, and two smoking hot bodies to cuddle with. Thankfulness and happiness sunk into my very bones and sleep overcame me.

* * *

When I woke up, the other two were sleeping. Steve had shifted so he was lying down with his head by my feet and his feet by my head. Bucky was tucked more securely under me with my head tucked under his chin, one hand above my right breast and the other on wrapped around my waist.

A small smile came onto my face and ran my fingers over Bucky's arm, humming quietly and contently. I looked at Bucky's handsome face and realized his eyes were open and watching me.

"Did you like the movie? It's really good, I've seen it so many times." I whispered up at him. He nuzzled his face on my neck, making a shiver roll up my spine.

"It was good. I could watch _Mulan_ again." I snickered, thinking how cute it was that he was utterly transfixed by the movie. He kissed that special spot beneath my ear and I gasped.

Steve shifted and Bucky and I immediately looked at him to see if he was awake. He did not wake up and I reached back to latch onto Bucky's hair.

We stared into each other's eyes and he looked down on me clearly thinking about something.

He kissed me on the top of the head and readjusted his hold on me. My eyes became heavy and I practically purred in happiness and warmth. I began to drift off when I heard a quiet, but firm,

"I love you."


End file.
